,,,inspired by today's crossword The Telegraph Cryptic Crossword assumes a level of cultural awareness from its dedicated followers: most strongly in all things British, but also anywhere in the English speaking world, with many place names and well-known words in the geography and languages of western europe. Place names like Nice in the south of… Continue reading Stig and his Ma—what a Dump…
Pictures at an Exhibition*
* See Pictures at an Exhibition, by Mussorgsky if you like this kind of thing. I do, but it's been a long time since I last heard it...
Stream of Consciousness …
written on December 10th, 2016 ... reminiscent of Finnegan's Wake? with the sun shines on all of desborough road you could say heaven smiles the chillier the climate the more i like the sun on my back if i were in jamaica or malaysia now the sun could be cruel only the shade would be… Continue reading Stream of Consciousness …
Getting clear at last
first published on Feb 8th, 2019 I’m not good at deciding. I say I’ll do something and I carry on in that vein for a while, faithful to a settled idea, that it’s the right thing, that I made the “right” decision: perhaps for days, months, years, decades; obedient to that decision, comfortable in its… Continue reading Getting clear at last
Through Pain to Ecstasy or Suicide
I 've discovered a draft post, below. It 's dated April 2nd, 2025. Looking up my handwritten journal of that date, I find this page: I've been fascinated by the disparity between two books I've been reading: Colin Wilson's Outsider and Revelations of Divine Love, by Julian of Norwich. She's best known to the world… Continue reading Through Pain to Ecstasy or Suicide
“Blissed Out”
I'd vowed not to write yet another cross-word-based post, but this one is altogether too spooky to ignore. I found it rather diffcult, but when Karkleen led the way, words started to fall into place. The clues are quite tricky and demand a wealth of general knowledge and Cryptic lore to unravel. I was particularly… Continue reading “Blissed Out”
The Old Grey Whistle Test
You can't get more British than this crossword. Go to 11 Across. Immediately grasp that "shredded" means anagram. Be aware of a TV programme that ran for many years called The Old Grey Whistle Test, but if not, Google and YouTube will tell you all you need to know. And if you like, we can… Continue reading The Old Grey Whistle Test
Rod Hull and Emu
Cryptic crosswords have appeared in the Daily Telegraph since 1925. We've been doing them daily for 20 years. The setters have fun and so do we. It helps to know that a setter is also a breed of dog, "lower" can mean "cow", "butter" can mean "goat. Spooner is a favourite. Revd W. A. Spooner… Continue reading Rod Hull and Emu
Phoenix Rising
Desktop is dead. Long live the desktop! My last piece featured Dark Star, a dirge, an orchestral lament for a (mostly) well-loved computer. Like a plaintive child, I cried at the unfairness of it all. "I want to play with my keyboard!" Ha, doing so now. Gathering dust in a corner were the component parts… Continue reading Phoenix Rising
Gratefully Dead
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?(The question popped up uninvited on my WordPress app) I'll be 94, most likely joined the Grateful Dead, glad to sing along in their glorious number, Dark Star: Dark star crashes, pouring its light into ashesReason tatters, the forces tear loose from the axisSearchlight casting for faults in… Continue reading Gratefully Dead
Finding Fulfilment
I'm having to write this on my phone, as my computer's packed up. Bear with me, the title above will be explained. This morning, I went to my computer as usual, being obsessed lately with updating its table of contents and fixing up posts where needful. For example, I'd found a document in an old… Continue reading Finding Fulfilment
On a Bus Ride
Written on Mar 29th , 2008 It is wonderful to be able to rejoice with the fortunate: to see someone beautiful and young who is making the most of what he or she has, in a simple way. When I was at university, I was preoccupied with my own loneliness and wasted my time. If… Continue reading On a Bus Ride
Mighty power of a Pope?
the following is copied from a draft dated 31st December 2025—New Year's Eve. (I've no memory of this). The closest I got to Catholicism was being sent to a school run by Dominican nuns aged 5 In St Leonards-on-Sea, where I was staying with grandparents. I was then sent to Holland, where I started to… Continue reading Mighty power of a Pope?
Yes Dear
retrieved from a post published elsewhere on October 20th, 2016 In my last I mentioned “a post in preparation, called ‘Just Words’, but it may take several days, or forever.” All very well but there is real life to be lived, can’t leave this hanging & festering like a debt with mounting interest due. “Just… Continue reading Yes Dear
Take Nothing for Granted
Here's a post from November 29th, 2008, worth sharing again. I hope you'll like it as I do. So I planned to republish today. Then things got overtaken by more immediate concerns (now fixed) * What are you thankful for? asks a blogger friend, seasonably. What shall I do with the days that remain, if… Continue reading Take Nothing for Granted
Notes on the Design of Form, Part 1
I posted this on another site, on Jan 29th, ’23, not long before being rushed to hospital for a diagnosis and tricky spinal operation. Now, there's "all the time in the world" to get the job done properly; so long as impatience doesn't get the better of doing a proper job. Many years ago, when… Continue reading Notes on the Design of Form, Part 1
Quality Management Under the Sea
In 1993 I was contracted to Eurotunnel, based on its offices in Folkestone. Didn't have much to do, just attend various weekly meetings, so I had times for creative initiatives, not all of which were adopted by our Director, Jacques Rossi, a kind of noble Corsican with grand ideas, like his charismatic compatriot Bonaparte, but… Continue reading Quality Management Under the Sea
Brochure design
Some years ago I was commissioned to produce a brochure for the church of St Barnabas in Bexhill-on-Sea. You'll see from its Facebook page that it's still keen on attracting worshippers (or mere visitors) with all kinds of colourful pictures. The invitation came through my sister. I'd done a bit of design and type-setting for… Continue reading Brochure design
What Causes War?
Written on July 30th, 2006, but a good question today I write early on Sunday morning, the windows having been wide open all night to maximise coolth in the bedroom, & no curtains pulled across so that light stole in long before dawn. Witty voices and song renditions from passing revellers and karaoke contestants also… Continue reading What Causes War?
Proof of Angels
Written October 5th 2010, updated today A propos my newly-confirmed belief in the existence of angels, Ashok says in his new post: “He will not believe in anything easily unless he has very sound proof of it.” Au contraire, my dear Ashok. (I seem to be starting each sentence in French.) There is no need… Continue reading Proof of Angels
Reading as a mirror
Written on August 12th, 2012 ; with a PS added today, March 14th, 2026 Continued from Art is More than Life: I discover myself more in reading than writing. I don’t mean just reading the written word, but maybe studying the false emotions of an actor, reflected in his face*, for they are the mirror… Continue reading Reading as a mirror
a sort of philosophy
Discovered today, written on April 8th, 2020 All life is encounter. I recall writing about this insight a few years ago, inspired by Martin Buber’s I and Thou: crystallized from it within my own understanding.. Crystallization: a word with meanings in cookery, chemistry and, according to Stendhal, the process of falling in love, as written… Continue reading a sort of philosophy
Live by the Pen, Die by the Pen
A long-lost post from August 2nd, 2012 In the early years of this blog, I would dash off new posts with ease. I wasn’t setting out to be a writer, only to express the simple sweetness of life as I felt it in the moment, with a little speculative reflection thrown in. I was embarrassed… Continue reading Live by the Pen, Die by the Pen
Luck & Angelic Messengers
Written July 10th, 2008. Worth republishing for the conversations among readers. See the Comments section, below It rained continually yesterday, didn’t stop but went through varying intensities. It reached the point that everyone ignored the light drizzle. Before the day was over I was taking no notice of the moderate rain either. I was fixing… Continue reading Luck & Angelic Messengers
On Fresh Air Alone
Previously published on January 5th, 2015, a favourite reminiscence from my days working for Notts.* County Council , as described in this post If you want to go somewhere and enjoy an undisturbed smoke I suggest the Nineteen-Fifties. If you were actually around at the time, it’s no problem—wings of memory will take you and… Continue reading On Fresh Air Alone
Unimaginable
Written May 13th 2007, not published here till now For days the art of writing has evaded me. I had no subject-matter and no impetus. The other day a man asked me to write his biography, and I almost took it seriously, for I had nothing to write on my own account, just an imagined… Continue reading Unimaginable
The Secret Agent
Illustration: from the New York Times review of first edition, in 1907. I’d been reading a trio of Conrad’s sea stories: The Nigger of the Narcissus, Typhoon and The Shadow-Line. Two were about storms, one a calm; two about sailing ships, one steam; two about serious illness on board, one about the obstinacy of a captain. After these I… Continue reading The Secret Agent
Spaces
Written on June 19th 2019 but apparently not published. We 'd been staying a few days in a rented flat, not far from these sights. As I lay awake this morning before getting up, a great procession of thoughts came to visit me. Thoughts? I'm not sure what a thought is. They were dwelling-places of… Continue reading Spaces
They that go down to the sea in ships
I wrote most of this on August 24th, 2019, but never published it here till today. So it gives the chance to look at what the Bible means, what it's for, if you like. Sadly, NIV, the New International Version of the Bible, seems to come with a loud agenda, as blazoned on its back… Continue reading They that go down to the sea in ships
Thirteen
First posted on October 22nd, 2019, with 13 follow-on quotations from this book In thirteen years of this blog, I've discovered some precious things and attempted to expose them in the form of words. As to why, it was an impulse aimed at my own pleasure, first to write and then the desire for outreach,… Continue reading Thirteen
Depth
Originally posted on May 24, 2006 Violets April 30th Just as a tree knows how to grow, I know in my deep self (which I refuse to call spirit or God) how to be me. Kathy was puzzled at my proposal that some things, lumped together under the word “spirituality”, are too precious to be… Continue reading Depth
Stories of Feline Sagacity
I eagerly read everything I found in my grandparents' house in St Leonards-on-Sea, and also my stepfather's house in Hastings. Both were stuffed with books from the 19th century. Here are some pages rediscovered via the Gutenberg Project. (Originally posted on 20th January, 2015) Cats. I have undertaken, my young friends, to give you a number… Continue reading Stories of Feline Sagacity
I am an animal
This was written on September 1st, 2006. My beloved was working in Amersham Old Town. Being unemployed, I would to drive her there and take advantage of any suitable weather to tramp around the countryside. To be so entwined with Nature was an uplifting experience. I felt at one with the creatures I encountered and… Continue reading I am an animal
Inner and Outer Landscape
A rambling essay written on October 19th, 2014, not published here before I decided to go for my usual loaf of bread by a circuitous route, over the Pastures; or rather, my feet took me that way while I readied myself to share what I had to say to Olympus, my companion of the road,… Continue reading Inner and Outer Landscape
Robert Louis Stevenson on Gas Lamps
an extract from Virginibus Puerisque Closely following on this epoch of migratory lanthorns in a world of extinction, came the era of oil-lights, hard to kindle, easy to extinguish, pale and wavering in the hour of their endurance. Rudely puffed the winds of heaven; roguishly clomb up the all-destructive urchin; and, lo! in a moment… Continue reading Robert Louis Stevenson on Gas Lamps
The Story of Tools
I got this little volume of 44 pages from a book sale in West Wycombe Village Hall, many years ago. It's plain to see that it was specifically designed to help educate members of the Young Communist League appreciate the advantages of collectivism—as against the deadly enemy, Capitalism. Good for them, I say. This may… Continue reading The Story of Tools
To Paul, from Vincent
Remembering Paul Maurice Martin Paul writes: One time I think on another blog you jokingly referred to agreeing with me for a change. But I’m not convinced you disagree most of the time so much as that you have your own outlook on life. My sense is that you tend to respond less to the… Continue reading To Paul, from Vincent
From East Cowes, to the Universe
East Cowes is a little community on the Isle of Wight, where I went to live in April 1954, aged 12. This is what I wrote after a visit with Karleen in August, 2008. The piece was titled Coming Back to East Cowes. Now that I’ve got a proper memory card in my camera, I… Continue reading From East Cowes, to the Universe
Cause for Aala m?…
...or at least the first tear after appealing to a tribunal. It's a shame there are tears at tribunal appeals. It may be the prospect of multiple tiers in a long-winded legal process They seem to be in business (a) to ease the flow of would-be immigrants (b) to intervene in extraditions (c) to encourage… Continue reading Cause for Aala m?…
“outnumbered by blessings”
Written on November 17th, 2017, now restored It was one of those "whisperings" that I get occasionally when the conscious mind is quiescent. The brain can do funny things. Shostakovich had a fragment of shrapnel lodged in his, left over from WWII. When he held his head at a certain angle he heard music. All… Continue reading “outnumbered by blessings”
a Hyperspace Adventure—jump on!
You can also click here ...* It started one morning in 1998, while I was freelancing in Volt Delta, a hi-tech American company in Egham. I saw a little ad on the front page of the Daily Telegraph for Claranet, offering email and webspace. I must have learned to program in html. Those brain cells… Continue reading a Hyperspace Adventure—jump on!
Home Journal…
written on 9th August, 2001, as an imaginary letter to a friend I worked with at the time, and who lived in Amersham, near the Old Town. It was she who influenced me to be interested in angels ...of Wasps, Angels and Field-Mice I write this in the garden, after our meal at ASK. The… Continue reading Home Journal…
A Magical Place
previously published on ian.mulder.clara.net on 5th October 2002 Magic is always available, to everyone. It is made manifest through repetition. First you have to be able to perceive something, a glimmer of something special, in something—whether an object, a place, an event or a person. Then you have to come back and find it again.… Continue reading A Magical Place
Joy without a cause
previously published on November 17th, 2020 Inspired by G.K. Chesterton's Ballad of the White Horse and recently recalled by Malcolm Guite: . . . it is not the first time that this poem has come to life again when England was in crisis. Chesterton saw that a renewal of the vision of joy and humility,… Continue reading Joy without a cause
The Spell of the Sensuous
I last wrote about this book exactly 14 years ago. I started reading it again recently, leaving a bookmark on page 38, where it speaks of the felt contrast between "subjective" and "objective". Objective reality, the realm of orthodox science "was, according to Husserl, a theoretical construction, an unwarranted idealization of intersubjective experience." The "real… Continue reading The Spell of the Sensuous
a Dummy’s prayer answered
Once I was a Geek. someone who is intelligent but not fashionable or popular: He's such a geek. —someone who is very interested in a particular subject and knows a lot about it (from Cambridge Online Dictionary) I've been trying to restore some of my old creative skills based on CorelDraw 6 (as mentioned in my last post) and Microsoft Access,… Continue reading a Dummy’s prayer answered
Van Loon’s Lives, and other stories
I got this from eBay with a very tattered cover. Not surprising as the book, first published in 1943, was printed in 1947. I've managed to restore the dust cover, using strips of 80gsm paper , water colours, black Sharpie and PVA adhesive, resulting in a reasonable job without spending more hours on it. You… Continue reading Van Loon’s Lives, and other stories
from an old notebook
from the first pages of a Pukka Pad bought in Jamaica, 2001. My copy of John Cowper Powys' Autobiography was given to me by Jacqueline Peltier John o'Saturn meets Women from earth (p206) Much of JCP’s Autobiography dances around the complex topic of his erotic preoccupations. If it were not complex, it would not occupy… Continue reading from an old notebook
It just so happened…
...'Twas but a trick o' the light... Shakespeare? That ever-present Artificially Intelligent AI had nothing useful to say about the origins of this saying so I hereby claim it as my own. It was the brilliant sunshine that blinded the driver, as he admitted. The accident happened where Bassetsbury Lane meets London Road. Remember we… Continue reading It just so happened…
What is philosophy?…
Transcribed from pages in my notebook, as scanned here. ...endless discussion of concepts worth discarding. Get a clean sheet, and start from scratch. That, if I remember, was how Descartes got started. He holed up on his own in a cold winter with only a wood stove for company, along with pen, paper and ink.… Continue reading What is philosophy?…
abstract thinking vs. sensuous living
Inspiration for this post came from today's Cryptic Crossword: fine is thin and king is a chess piece. Philosophy is a form of abstract thinking. There are plenty of posts on Wayfarer's touching on philosophy. Here's a few out of 29:: https://rochereau.uk/2006/08/02/what-makes-me-uneasy/ https://rochereau.uk/2006/10/12/having-no-enemies/ https://rochereau.uk/2009/11/13/the-world/ https://rochereau.uk/2010/08/30/meditation-on-death/ https://rochereau.uk/2010/11/17/lambs-and-us/ https://rochereau.uk/2015/01/25/on-being-an-animal/ https://rochereau.uk/2011/12/04/john-grays-straw-dogs/ https://rochereau.uk/2012/11/01/the-view-from-nowhere/ https://strangeparadox.blogspot.com/ https://rochereau.uk/2012/11/19/the-evolution-of-god/ https://rochereau.uk/2012/12/02/presence-the-numinous-in-everyday-life/ https://rochereau.uk/2014/10/09/a-ramble-through-landscape-hypermedia/ https://rochereau.uk/2011/10/02/becoming-animal/ https://rochereau.uk/2022/11/14/the-origins-of-speech-according-to-wittgenstein… Continue reading abstract thinking vs. sensuous living
No Man is an Island…
...keep 2 metres apart! This piece was written on March 29th 2020, but never till now published here. Spookily, I discovered it when the world's largest island becomes world news* No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee… Continue reading No Man is an Island…
catalogue of books continued…
These are some more of my favourite books, the kind you treasure and partially recall, without finding time to refresh your memory. But it's good to read other people's reviews, and recall the flavour of these very different volumes. ID shelf location author title pages description 1 MB3 desk left Sagittarius (Olga Miller) Quiver‘s Choice… Continue reading catalogue of books continued…
cataloguing books
Finally got back a good version of Excel, so it's possible to find my books and see what critics think of them. A mixed bag of favourites here: ID shelf location author title pages description (linked for reviews) 1 MB4 desk left Christopher Alexander A Pattern Language 1171 how to make a home to fit… Continue reading cataloguing books
Upright working Prince, pure lad
I don't usually print our morning crossword solutions here, though occasionally elsewhere. Today, though, 1 Across could be of general interest, the clue not the anagrammatic solution. There's a site which explains the clues and offers answers Monday to Friday after 11am, Greenwich Mean Time. But while you're here you might like a few explanations… Continue reading Upright working Prince, pure lad
Hymn of the Cherubim
Written in November 2018, never before published on Wayfarer's Notes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZQzW_QfPew Natalie was asking readers if they could identify the old-master original of one of the drawings she found in her papers from years ago: I spent an hour or two on this quest without success. At some point, I stumbled upon the piece by… Continue reading Hymn of the Cherubim
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
In 1954, my mother married my stepfather Septimus Charlton. He wanted to give a present to his new father-in-law, Vincent Ward, from whom I get my name. Impressed by the coat of arms, he used the design to make a 3d model in Perspex sheets, using available colours. My sister keeps it as an heirloom.… Continue reading The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
What looks after us…
... Providence or Angels? This piece was written in November 2018 I’ve been wanting to write about the role of angels in my life. Like most words in any language, it’s loaded with baggage going back millennia. Let’s strip off that heavy weight of meanings, leave it in a heap and walk lightly away. I… Continue reading What looks after us…
Portrait of her grandfather
—by Manuela Amey, December 27th, 2025
Giving Something Back
I wrote this in 2006, when social media were still young. Blogspot was the popular medium for bloggers, who habitually offered lists of other blogs they recommended. See for example Bryan White's Encyclopedia of Counting Sheep with his journal of dreams. Reading it again, I still hold to the view that blogging is a way… Continue reading Giving Something Back
The Nature of the I
Previously published on January 29th, 2016 The “I” is easily defined. It is what I mean when I say “I”. There is no confusion about it, no argument as to whether this “I” is real. René Descartes nailed it: cogito, ergo sum. Such simplicity has been wrecked by the introduction of “ego”, a weasel word… Continue reading The Nature of the I
Hannah Arendt on Action
Previously published on October 6th, 2015 My last post seemed to demand a follow-up, to set it in a wider context. It was a personal view as seen from this cottage in this valley. I said “I might be the only one to see it this way, or it may turn out to be universal.”… Continue reading Hannah Arendt on Action
A Feather on the Breath of God
I like opening extraordinary and special books at random, such as The Book of Disquiet (Pessoa), Centuries (Traherne) and Anam Ċara (O'Donohue). This is what came up when I did the same with our current book. It's the section titled CAUSES AND CURES, pp 108-11. The four elements That there are only four elements: There… Continue reading A Feather on the Breath of God
Hildegard of Bingen
Who was she? Although the history of her formal canonization is complicated, regional calendars of the Catholic Church have listed her as a saint for centuries. On 10 May 2012, Pope Benedict XVI extended the liturgical cult of Hildegard to the entire Catholic Church in a process known as "equivalent canonization". I'll try and read… Continue reading Hildegard of Bingen
Cretinocracy
I found this on my computer as a Word document. Checking online, I discover it's from Museum without Walls, by Jonathan Meades We are surrounded by the greatest of free shows. Places. Most of them made by man, remade by man. Deserted streets, seething boulevards, teeming beaches, empty steppes, black reservoirs, fields of agricultural scrap,… Continue reading Cretinocracy
The Tree of Life
First published on Blogger, Saturday March 17th, 2012 “If I can prevent just one person from watching this, it’ll have been worth suffering through it.” Thus begins a review of The Tree of Life by Kevin A Ranson, alias Grim D Reaper; unfortunately one which I didn’t read in time. I can’t blame Paula, from… Continue reading The Tree of Life
The moment
Previously published on 18th April, 2011 I went out to the backyard on Sunday morning. Purpose: to hang washing out on the line. The sky above was blue. There are trees beyond the fence, growing in the children’s playground, and on one of them I saw a little bird, insistently repeating the same note: “Tweet;… Continue reading The moment
Neon or candle light
This is what happened. I'd been soundly asleep till awakened by "someone" coughing, about 1.30 this morning. I went downstairs for a bit, including a "midnight snack" as is my wont, and when I got back the tealight had gone out. We use two or three in the night, it saves turning on my lamp… Continue reading Neon or candle light
When love conquers fear
originally published on 27 Feb 2016. It's the most moving of the pieces I've been privileged to write. Especially as I discovered Etty Hillesum "accidentally"; but like so many things in my life I can't but think it was meant to happen. Correction: probably everything. While writing in my last about “Secret Strength” I had… Continue reading When love conquers fear
“Distinguish what’s real”
This piece was posted to perpetual-lab.blogspot.com on November 21, 2006, and never before published on rochereau.uk I proposed these three words the other day as minimal advice for the seeker who wants to travel light, and not be weighed down by the world’s scriptures and commentaries derived therefrom. I've been drafting a number of false starts since… Continue reading “Distinguish what’s real”
Like an Artist’s Brush
Originally posted on Blogger, February 19th 2010 I really haven’t got time to write anything here. This makes it all the more important to do it anyway. I write in my blog for the same reason others do—to discover what I really think. Think? I’m not referring to “detached thought”, that attempt to be rational… Continue reading Like an Artist’s Brush
Me and the Little Rock Nine
Another post to republish, written in March 2013, and relating to my life in 1958, aware of a momentous event in American history Now that my 16th birthday’s out of the way—it’s become a family event, this year bigger than last—the most exciting thing going on in my life is Winter’s retreat and Spring’s approach:… Continue reading Me and the Little Rock Nine
The Anointing of Saul
Published on Monday, January 10, 2011 in perpetual-lab.blogspot.com. A shorter version was then published here. Here is the full post. How shall I approach this Bible reading exercise? I’m glad I chose the First Book of Samuel because I last read it fifty-eight years ago, so it doesn’t blind me with the reflective glare of… Continue reading The Anointing of Saul
Sunday Morning Stroll
farm buildings with brick and flint building behind, part of the estate land fenced off Gate to the public footpath on return walk farm worker had just laid this fresh supply of hay. She stopped to chat when she was about to push a wheelbarrow heavily laden with water to replenish the trough… Continue reading Sunday Morning Stroll
Unblocking
Rescued from oblivion today I’ve been glad of the chance to edit some of Ghetufool’s work lately. Writing is something I’m driven to by an impulse that won’t be denied. So what to do when writer’s block strikes? Turn to religion, I suppose, as people do when they feel vulnerable and melancholy. A fellow-blogger* distinguishes… Continue reading Unblocking
Grace Abounding
This morning in bed I had a vague idea of saying something about the long-ago writer of my favourite hymn, but couldn't immediately remember his name. But then it came back to me—John Bunyan. Having read A Pilgrim's Progress in childhood, I checked his other works and found Grace Abounding, easily downloaded it from… Continue reading Grace Abounding
Bunyan offered Get out of Jail Free
Here is the Sum of my Examination before Justice Keelin, Justice Chester, Justice Blundale, Justice Beecher, Justice Snagg, etc. After I had lain in prison above seven weeks, the quarter-sessions were to be kept in Bedford, for the county thereof, unto which I was to be brought; and when my jailor had set me before those justices, there was a bill… Continue reading Bunyan offered Get out of Jail Free
The Evolution of God
Today I had another look at Wonderful Life, and skimmed through to the end of the last chapter: The origin of Homo Sapiens. How did we arrive at "mentality at our modern level"?. The author's own mentality is at an extraordinary high level, taking us through 300 pages of highly detailed description, based on the… Continue reading The Evolution of God
Existence of God
I've thought about this question a few times recently in the night, and the answer would come promptly: what happens is what's meant to happen happens is supposed to happen, just for me. I cannot know what it's like for anyone else. That would be a matter of religious faith, which I'm not sure is… Continue reading Existence of God
Vincent van Gogh in Auvers
AUVERS 1890 ""He could not be persuaded to say when he would go. Not until May 16 did he wrench himself away, and then only after the sun had fallen and night had hidden the colours. In Paris, Theo, waiting anxiously day by day, suddenly received a telegram; Vincent was on the night train.… Continue reading Vincent van Gogh in Auvers
Modest Ambitions
Originally published on Thursday, September 28, 2006 on perpetual-lab.blogspot.com via the Wayback Machine I mentioned the other day wanting to blog less and write a book instead. Books are real enduring literature, I told myself. I’d have more readers than now. In a book the reader’s attention is engaged for longer so the impact will… Continue reading Modest Ambitions
The Factory Across the Road
barriers are put up, the factory is no more. It's turning into a building site Middle roof being dismantled Architect's drawing, would be better shown 3D at an angle. The design has been partially followed the air's full of brick-dust a dramatic moment. I was lucky to capture it from our bedroom window. Like much… Continue reading The Factory Across the Road
Dreams
as written up on this site: click to view Meeting Myself Escaping from a Festival/ Night Thoughts Brexit Dream 3 When the Past Haunts the Night Eleventh Child University dreams to be continued
With Alacrity
Suffering is real. You have a guardian angel to guide you. Just be receptive. I call mine Alacrity, and see her as female. Instead of wallowing in whatever, she is the epitome of eagerness. Inspired by Connecting and Aligning with Your True Self: An Interview with Coach Luce Campagna From the above blog post: “Moreover,… Continue reading With Alacrity
What books…
...would you read over and over again? I’ll take some time to think about this, but it’s likely to be an autobiography… Later, after further thought, I hit upon two fictional memoirs: Such is Life, by Tom Collins, Memoirs of an Australian cattle drover, “philosopher and rogue”, each chapter being the expansion from memory of… Continue reading What books…
English Pancakes
... and how to make them, without tossing in the traditional way — see bottom of this post for instructions Ingredients to make 4 skinny 10-inch pancakes: a blender an egg 2/3 cup of milk tablespoon of plain flour pinch of salt Serve them with juice from a fresh lemon and white sugar. to make:… Continue reading English Pancakes
Pilgrimage to St Cuthbert’s . . .
. . . Spiritual Homes, December 2024 I had been quite apprehensive about this trip as I was worried about my own personal excitability and spontaneous way of being — a concern/question as to how I could both be myself as well as act in an appropriate way in respect of my fellow pilgrim travellers,… Continue reading Pilgrimage to St Cuthbert’s . . .
Other Places, Other Times
I created a video and put it on YouTube in April 2015. It contains these tracks, you can click to hear any or all, * Inglan is a Bitch--Linton Kwesi Johnson High Society--Snooks Eaglin (New Orleans Street Singer) I feel So Good--J B Lenoir (Alabama Blues) My People--Youssou N'Dour (The Guide) Moments--Sandy Denny (Rendezvous, bonus… Continue reading Other Places, Other Times
From a Thief
an old story by Ghetufool, edited by Vincent This guy stands in front of me, refuses to budge. Such a deal is way too unprofitable and sort of undignified too. Five hundred rupees for this beautiful puppy? No way. ............. It’s not so much the money. It cost me nothing as I stole it a… Continue reading From a Thief
A Cowardly Idle Fool
This post was rescued from perpetual-lab.blogspot.com as made available on the Internet Archive, 13 years after it was written What is this life, if full of care, We have no time to stand and stare? (W. H Davies, “Leisure”.) Go to the ant, thou sluggard. Consider her ways and be wise. (Proverbs 6:6) I’ve gone… Continue reading A Cowardly Idle Fool
All Religion is Magic!
Restored from a lost post published 10th September 2011 The story so far: On 29th July—seven weeks ago—I posted a piece about a sense of mission. It finished with these words: Disputatious as ever, I question the reasonableness of reasonableness. We make ourselves blind to the fact that our lives are not actually ruled by… Continue reading All Religion is Magic!
Ghetu’s Stories
stories by Ghetufool posted Free As a Bird 1 May 08 Ticket to Paradise 16 Jan 12 Everything Knows 8 Jun 12 The Travelling Companion 16 Feb 13 Piklu and the Old Man 21 apr 13 The Howrah Bridge Palmist 29 jul 13 The Wretched 26 jun 18 From a Thief 9 feb 07
My first real job
previously published on 1st December '22 after a lunch in the ancient Cookham pub Bel and the Dragon, see pics below After I graduated in 1963, I supported myself with various jobs, including selling ice cream in Butlins in Clacton that summer. When I got married, (to Gail as mentioned in the above post) I… Continue reading My first real job
Motherhood
FreyasHawk was an occasional commenter on my posts, back in the heyday of blogs. These started to decline in 2012. Hers continued until December 2016, and hasn't been taken down, like most blogs of my former commenters. This post stood out for me: WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21, 2015 I know a mother who never wants to… Continue reading Motherhood
Recycling via the Salvation Army
Lately I've been donating dozens of books to the Sally Army. I brought a few more yesterday and on the way out noticed they have started giving away books, presumably deeming them unsaleable. The other day I found a book I’d recently donated in the pile—Against the Current, by Isaiah Berlin. When I pointed this out,… Continue reading Recycling via the Salvation Army
Why we do what we do
I was quite startled by a programme on the radio, especially the following transcribed excerpt. It’s a tiny fraction of a heavy book—literally*. I picked it up in the bookshop: not bedtime reading without strong arms.† Yet in a few words it covers pleasure, happiness, the meaning of life—and how to make the most of… Continue reading Why we do what we do
Rumours & Resignations
When I wrote this in March this year, it was prompted by finding I had a duplicate CD. But there's an interesting story of my months working there which remains vivid in my mind but never written up in any form. In the end it was humiliating, to the point where I pleaded ill-health, and… Continue reading Rumours & Resignations
Engineering and Angels…
... or, the Bench on St Michael's Green written from notes in 2002, when I took my daughter to play tennis with others of her age in Beaconsfield, as insisted by her mother Structure is a male word, relating to that part of the brain which does engineering. It’s related to discipline, in the sense… Continue reading Engineering and Angels…
The Charabanc of Trippers
previously published 13th May 2014 on Perpetual-Lab, somehow lost in transit I didn’t explain what happened to the book Wayfaring, which was briefly published under Creative Commons in pdf, before being withdrawn from free distribution. I feel no compulsion to give a reason, but here are two. (a) Uncertainty (b) a decision to postpone publication… Continue reading The Charabanc of Trippers
The Golden Ball
Originally published on September 9th 2010, but got corrupted somewhere. Now restored to its original form
Visit to Dalkey in 2014
"The James Joyce Tower and Museum is a Martello tower in Sandycove, Dublin, where James Joyce spent six nights in 1904.[1] The opening scenes of his 1922 novel Ulysses take place here, and the tower is a place of pilgrimage for Joyce enthusiasts, especially on Bloomsday. Admission is free. The novel starts like this: "Stately,… Continue reading Visit to Dalkey in 2014
Greenhayes Across the Years
Mark at 13; a language student. my half-sister Mary at 7 — Is it legal to take stones from the massive deposits lying around the mountains? If it is illegal then who should I contact to collect said stones? — No, it would technically be theft—you'd need to ask the landowner for permission Originally Snowdon… Continue reading Greenhayes Across the Years
Happy Birthday Mary
Some pictures of Hastings that you and I will recognize from childhood. Much has changed since, I'm sure. Welcome to Memory Lane! . . .and there's a cave, long abandoned but didn't smell nice when I looked in as a child
My Best Film – Ever
I was 13, staying at Granny's house in Springfield Road, St Leonards-on-Sea. I lived on the Isle of Wight, but sometimes went there in the Christmas holidays. It was a rainy evening when I went to see the film, always on my own - I had no friends there.
The Handyman, by Brian Spaeth
I am a handyman. No, that is not really accurate—I flatter myself—a real handyman would, at the very least, have a business card, a roster of clients, some form of advertising, and maybe a car or small truck to get around town and to carry tools and supplies. I possess none of these things—therefore I… Continue reading The Handyman, by Brian Spaeth
2nd Letter from Ward 1
Mother’s Day Visit
In England, Mother's Day was on Friday March 19th, a celebration for three Jamaican mothers who live in England. We're not in a position to visit them in South-East London, as we don't have a car any more. What with this and that, we weren't able to meet up till last Saturday 20th May. We… Continue reading Mother’s Day Visit
Driving again
I stopped driving three years ago, started to feel frightened of hitting other vehicles, or worse. Even in daylight. Carefully made my last journey up the hill to WeBuyAnyCar, was amazed to get back nearly half of what I paid for it new ten years earlier. (v. low mileage full, maintenance history—plus inflation?) But I'm… Continue reading Driving again
On Having No Ambition …
... it didn't come from faith as such, like a surrender to God's will . . . but from time to time I've definitely felt an inner guidance. You could call it inspiration, intuition, intimations, whisperings, angel messages. As mentioned in dozens of posts. Later: it's midnight, time to go downstairs to print the latest… Continue reading On Having No Ambition …
Storms
The songs I like best in this album by singer-songwriter Nanci Griffith are "You Made This Love a Teardrop" and "It's a Hard Life Wherever You Go". Each song is a dignified lament, as typified by the title "If Wishes Were Changes". Most sentimental songs in the world of Pop are about "me", my… Continue reading Storms
Dark Star
Live Dead explains why the Dead are one of the best performing bands in America, why their music touches on ground that most other groups don’t even know exists. A list of song titles would mean very little in terms of what actually goes on inside the album. Like the early Cream, the… Continue reading Dark Star
Escaping from a Festival
We're a bunch of old friends from University days, on our way to somewhere in Wales, in an old Land Rover. Without our copy of The Readers Digest Book of Roads (400 pages), cross-referenced to signposts, we'd have had no chance. Our route takes us up hill and down dale, in a maze of narrow… Continue reading Escaping from a Festival
The Sex Life of Thomas Traherne
Abridged from ‘High Delights that satisfy all Appetites’: Thomas Traherne and Gender Jean E. Graham The College of New Jersey graham@tcnj.edu The poetry of Thomas Traherne (written sometime before his death in 1674) has often seemed purely and innocently devotional in comparison with that of George Herbert, John Donne, or Richard Crashaw, poets whose religious… Continue reading The Sex Life of Thomas Traherne
Classical Music of Africa
This song by Sona Jobarteh is surely an Ode To Joy for our present age. The video shows a loving and idealized portrait of modern West Africa, steeped in traditional roots Up to the middle of the 19th century, classical music came from Central Europe. Sona has absorbed this tradition from early childhood, interwoven with… Continue reading Classical Music of Africa
Country boy down in New Orleans – Snooks Eaglin
Snooks Eaglin was blind, spent much of his childhood learning to play guitar. Allow me to share one of my favorite blues with you. It's illustrated throughout with some beautiful paintings
A Brush With The Past
From the age of 12, I went to King James I School, in Newport, Isle of Wight. It was built as a grammar school in 1613, with some latter additions to accommodate more boys.. Our art master was Mr Bell, a strict disciplinarian. We were not allowed to speak to one another during the 1½-hour… Continue reading A Brush With The Past
Living in High Wycombe
Wycombe is a great place to live if you don't drive. No traffic jams or parking problems. If you live in Abercromby Road, for example, it's a short walk along Desborough Road to the town centre, with its Eden shopping Mall, library, Hospital. If you are disabled, there are many facilities, including https://www.shopmobilityhighwycombe.co.uk/ You'll pass… Continue reading Living in High Wycombe
Eagle Flew Out Of the Night
Waking up at 3 am, I find a song playing endlessly in my head. Not just the tune, but some of the words too. It's one of the most extraordinary popular songs, more potent than anything by Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen. Peter Gabriel has his own explanation for how it hatched in his mind… Continue reading Eagle Flew Out Of the Night
Touched by the Printed Word
First published on Feb. 25th, 2009 I learned to read at my grandmother’s knee, at four years old. We used a Victorian primer, Reading without Tears: it proved itself worthy of the name and I worked through it in a few days, mostly on my own. I remember being frustrated with the word “parlour” near… Continue reading Touched by the Printed Word
Helpful advice to men—from the 16th Century
from On the power of the imagination, an essay by Michel Montaigne, translated by J M Cohen: "I have personal knowledge of the case of a man for whom I can answer as for myself, and who could not fall under the least suspicion impotence or being under a spell. He had heard a comrade… Continue reading Helpful advice to men—from the 16th Century
Don’t Give Up
Here's a track from Peter Gabriel’s album So; In this proud land we grew up strongWe were wanted all alongI was taught to fight, taught to winI never thought I could fail No fight left or so it seemsI am a man whose dreams have all desertedI’ve changed my face, I’ve changed my nameBut no… Continue reading Don’t Give Up
Mr Lehane is Back
Years ago, DBA Lehane had a website of Short Short Stories, now defunct. I'm delighted to see it's back at https://dailymicrofictions.com/ Mr Lehane often visited Wayfarer's and over the years our exchange of comments is worthy of being disinterred from the sands of time, like this fellow: My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look… Continue reading Mr Lehane is Back
Revelations
Got out of bed this morning telling myself there's a close connection between sex and God. On reflection, love has to be in the equation: Love + sex = God This is surely why religion smiles on marriage but not one-night stands. As for homosexual relations, every religion so far as I know has frowned… Continue reading Revelations
A call from “Alma Mater”
Last night I got a call from a bright young woman in the Alumni department, clearly a student volunteer. They ring from time to time to see if you can donate to their charity in aid of disadvantaged students from overseas. this is from their website https://www.birmingham.ac.uk/ : Birmingham is a truly global university producing… Continue reading A call from “Alma Mater”
A Brief History of Politics?
inspired by a new blog: A Platform for Politics and Culture Speech evolved from homo erectus's point and grunt for catching game in a team. It's presented as a series of steps explained in a talk by Wittgenstein, transcribed in The Brown Book, appended here. Thus creatures and things could be given names. Then speech… Continue reading A Brief History of Politics?
The Origins of Speech, according to Wittgenstein
THE BROWN BOOKI Augustine, in describing his learning of language, says that he was taught to speak by learning the names of things. It is clear that who-ever says this has in mind the way in which a child learns such words as "man", "sugar", "table", etc. He does not primarily think of such words… Continue reading The Origins of Speech, according to Wittgenstein
God, Love, Marriage, Sex
In my view, God is not the Transcendent Being delineated in Scriptures, the one that intervenes in the workings of Man and the rest of Nature. My God is not nullified by Evolution theory. She is the the Whole SheBang: not just the Big Bang of said theory, but the ongoing Carer that never deserts… Continue reading God, Love, Marriage, Sex
The Blues
Back in '65 I acquired a battered and rusty National guitar, gift of a friend who also gave me various cassettes copied from LPs, including Alabama Blues by JB Lenoir. The only thing I learned to play was Big Leg Blues, by Muddy Waters. I never got beyond the first line, couldn't play the chords.… Continue reading The Blues
How this site got its URL
I transferred my writings to WordPress in 2015. Previously I'd used perpetual-lab.blogspot.com, still visible on archive.com. What name should I give it? I used the name of singer Tabu Ley Rochereau, who often performed with Franco Luambo's TPOK Jazz Band. This had been a favourite of mine since I first discovered African music through some… Continue reading How this site got its URL
An Old Cockney song
We've been together now for nineteen years, An' it don't seem a day too much, 'cos there ain't a lady livin' in the land As I'd swop for my dear old Dutch.
Good Vibrations, good migration
Revised on October 3rd Things have changed in my body & psyche. One is the worse for wear, the other has recovered after 6 weeks of insanity, diagnosed as an infection of the brain which like the common cold has cleared up by itself. During those 6 weeks my head ran wild ("Freak Out!") scaring… Continue reading Good Vibrations, good migration
Valley Creatures
Days pass. Not much wayfaring and not much writing. The two are connected. I had promised to dedicate a post to Lady in Red, who writes “I love it when you describe the places you walk through, bringing it alive for those of us who can only imagine both the countryside and the industrial areas… Continue reading Valley Creatures
High Wycombe has a Monopoly
from our local newspaper, the Bucks Free Press. I've corrected its numerous typos, excused by the fact that today is its publishing day, and Isabella Perrin was clearly rushed to get the copy ready in time High Wycombe MONOPOLY board release date and locations announced 15th August by Isabella Perrin , @IsabellaHPerrin Senior Digital Journalist… Continue reading High Wycombe has a Monopoly
Night Thoughts
I’m stuck. I don’t just mean stuck in some detailed area of life, as if performing some tricky or critical task and suddenly realizing I need three hands. That would be exciting enough. I mean globally stuck: my “I” suddenly immobilized whilst grappling with the entire universe. It’s one of those situations where we say… Continue reading Night Thoughts
“Thank You NHS”
I went up to the hospital for a blood test and took these snaps of the approach road. They've been painted here for more than a year, and reflect a massive manifestation of affection for our National Health Service since the pandemic hit us. At various points it has drastically overloaded its workers at all… Continue reading “Thank You NHS”
George Santayana
I came across his name when I was 17, but since then I've never seen it again till now: in the same book I borrowed, back in 1959. Despite extensive reading in the spheres of philosophy and religion since then, I've never come the name since, except in the book I borrowed then. I was… Continue reading George Santayana
Housewifery
HOUSEWIFERY is the efficient running of a house, and embraces problems of widely different natures. It includes the problem of running the house economically, seeing that the money available is spent to the best purpose. It includes keeping the house clean, for cleanliness and hygiene are the basis of healthy living. It includes a knowledge… Continue reading Housewifery
Fuller just got Emptier
I've been cataloguing my books. They're scattered across the house. Some years ago I got rid of all the IKEA shelves and built my own, as a tribute to this cherished collection. Every volume has its own tale to tell: how was it acquired, why and when? Sometimes memory fails: the tale is lost. Which… Continue reading Fuller just got Emptier
Grasping the Sky
Anthony O’Hear is a philosopher by trade. The latest of his many books is titled Transcendence, Creation and Incarnation: From Philosophy to Religion (Transcending Boundaries in Philosophy and Theology); leaving us in no doubt that he’s an academic addressing other academics. Every chapter has its own cluster of end-notes. He’s read every philosopher I’ve heard of, and refers… Continue reading Grasping the Sky
Holy Family
Ascension of Yemaya into the Waters 2019 I guess like other educated white males I haven’t understood the the accusation that came out so often last year in the Black Lives Matter campaigns, that people like me are “privileged”. Especially in the sense that there are things we may never be able to understand, such… Continue reading Holy Family
reading the Church Times
I shall write about what interests me at the time. The problem is, I don’t know where to start. It’s a tangle of loose ends, an interesting time in life, structured in a daily routine so simple, so rewarding that I think of it as a sacred ritual. I read the Church Times, which has been… Continue reading reading the Church Times
Burgess on Lawrence—with Time for a Tiger
© 1986 The International Anthony Burgess Foundation. What follows is an edited version of an essay that appeared in the Writers’ Monthly in 1986: Flame into Being: The life and work of D. H. Lawrence, first published in 1985, will be reissued by Galileo Publishing in June Your editor has asked me to give you… Continue reading Burgess on Lawrence—with Time for a Tiger
Invisibles
My guardian angel got her name by accident. It can be traced back to a difference between men and women, in which She (archetypal woman) does chores without remark or fuss. When she dares to interrupt His (archetypal man's) scholarly scribbling, and to ask him to lend a hand, he does so with a little… Continue reading Invisibles
Sin and the Church Times
Initially drafted in haste on Tuesday 19th May, 2020. It didn't all make good sense. Am working in odd moments trying to improve it. It might be of a certain interest to some and I'm restoring its publication to May 20th There's an unhealthy gulf which didn't use to be so wide. It separates Christianity… Continue reading Sin and the Church Times
From Etty, to God
". . . there is a remarkable woman who can give us vision and stability, who can help us to do good despite all the terror due to the Covid-19 virus. She speaks from another time of dread, the Holocaust."* From her journal: "You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend Your… Continue reading From Etty, to God
Green Book
Green Book is based on real people, real events. It’s really about two characters: Tony “Lip” Vallelonga, famous for dealing with trouble, from a clannish Italian family in the Bronx ; Dr Donald Shirley, classical pianist from aspirational Jamaican parents, who’s grown up in an airy-fairy virtuoso-land, and happens to be black. In the course… Continue reading Green Book
It
There is It and there is God, consisting of the sacred known and the sacred unknown. Together they comprise reality. The rest is illusion. Everyone wants a piece of It, to do it or to feel It in some way. The created world is made of desire. There are those who don’t feel It in… Continue reading It
How Religions Began
Note on Wednesday 17th August, 2025: I have scant recollection of writing this post, but then, I’m 15 years more elderly than then, and maybe should be forgiven. I wonder if any reader can relate to Simone Weil’s esoteric musings? Do tell what you think, in a comment. Or several, it would be good to… Continue reading How Religions Began
Gladness
I’m glad for everything, this life is precious, no time to waste in fretting. I’m especially glad that no one reads this blog any more. If no one comes I can say what to want to say on my own account. The marital bed is the Tabernacle of the Most High. This isn’t a quote… Continue reading Gladness
Eros, Agape and In-Godding
I learned that Roger Scruton had died earlier this year. I knew little about him, only that he was a philosopher ready to break ranks with his fellow academics for applying traditionalist views to criticize the unthinking conformity of liberalism à la mode. Of his several published books, one title leapt out: Sexual Desire. Most… Continue reading Eros, Agape and In-Godding
Knowledge of Angels…
. . . by Jill Paton Walsh Some readers will find there is altogether too much theology in this novel, especially of the medieval kind, with inquisitors, hermit scholars, narrow-minded nuns and much repression of thought and action. After first reading it 25 years ago and rereading recently, I get a different impression: that it’s… Continue reading Knowledge of Angels…
A Graceful Retreat
This is to say thank you to all readers and especially to Ellie Clayton, Phil Ebersole, IanInverness and Michael Peverett, for your comments on my recent Simone Weil posts. Also to those who clicked on “like”. Most especially to those who remained silent. It’s all valuable feedback. It’s become clear that reading Gravity and Grace is not… Continue reading A Graceful Retreat
Simone Weil on Evil
The text below is a bold rendering in idiomatic English of Simone Weil's La Pesanteur et laGrâce, chapter 15 "Le mal". Much could be said to introduce the author and her writings, not to mention the approach I've taken, which some may condemn as a paraphrase. My view is that the language of French intellectuals… Continue reading Simone Weil on Evil
Simone Weil on Politics & Justice
to Phil Ebersole, demonstrating Simone Weil's deep commitment as a thinker and activist; as well as, I suggest, her particular relevance to a world which has lost its once-revered guiding principles. See our exchange of comments in my last. ************* This is the last section of her essay on Human Personality: the Just and the… Continue reading Simone Weil on Politics & Justice
Gravity and Grace, by Simone Weil
See this article: The Famous Book she Never Wrote Excerpts: Every natural impulse of the soul is governed by laws analogous to physical gravity: except only grace. We must always expect things to turn out as if pulled downwards by their own weight, unless the supernatural comes into play. There are just two forces in… Continue reading Gravity and Grace, by Simone Weil
Guided Randomness
I’ve often asked myself “Do you believe in God?” but never got an answer, only that it’s an unanswerable question. A better one would be “What do you believe in?” One has to search within oneself, but not for some borrowed ideas and expressions, some flag of convenience to sail under and dodge the challenge. One… Continue reading Guided Randomness
Face-to-Face
The ghost of Christine Keeler is returning to public view, in the form of a TV series now on BBC, and a forthcoming exhibition in London, which I heard about through Natalie D'Arbeloff's blog, in which she says Christine Keeler was, in that story, simultaneously absolutely powerless and absolutely powerful. She was neither victim nor… Continue reading Face-to-Face
Delicious, not Precious
Contemplating mortality is not about being prepared to die, it is about being prepared to live. And that is what I am doing now, more freely and more fully than I have since childhood. The cancer has not made life more precious - that would make it seem like something fragile to lock away in… Continue reading Delicious, not Precious
Thomas Traherne: his outlook on life
An essay by Frances Towers in 1920, a few years after the first publication of manuscripts by Thomas Traherne from the 17th century. BETWEEN the covers of the Centuries of Meditation lies a spiritual kingdom. It has a close affinity with certain other kingdoms of the spirit, and the wanderer who crosses that threshold is conscious of… Continue reading Thomas Traherne: his outlook on life
Joyful Expressions?
I suppose theology is the study of what God is and isn’t. I’ve never looked into Thomas Aquinas, but am grateful for an excerpt from Why Rousseau Was Wrong*: Its positive attitude reminds me of a quote from Thomas Traherne recently published on this blog†. The excerpt above came from a summary‡ of how St Thomas… Continue reading Joyful Expressions?
Wise
Emerson, from ‘The Oversoul’
Unjudging
Dostoevsky, from Father Zossima's discourse in The Brothers Karamazov, freely rendered
Self-proclaiming
Whitman, from Song of Myself
Attracted
Gerald Bullett, from his essay ‘Dreaming’, 1928
Natural
Gerald Bullett has this to say about the excerpt:
Akin
Gerald Bullett, anthologist of The Testament of Light, writes this of the above excerpt:
Humble
Dostoevsky, from Father Zossima’s discourse in The Brothers Karamazov
Generous
from Miguel de Unamuno, The Life of Don Quixote and Sancho, tr. Homer P. Earle
Forgiving
from The Gospel according to St. John, a blend of three translations: Tyndale, Authorized Version, and Revised Version
Constant
Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
Blissful
Wordsworth, from Intimations of Immortality
Outreaching
Traherne, from Centuries of Meditations
Animal
Logan Pearsall Smith, ‘Desires’ from his book Trivia
While Unsleeping
A kind of liberation ensues when you accept the situation, displeasing as it may be, that you find yourself in at this moment. For example insomnia & remembrance of past mistakes—to name but one. For me, they are synonymous. Liberation is an art, the act of turning something round the other way. To embrace the… Continue reading While Unsleeping
Strange Angels
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVrZZymiGPI Strange angels - / Singing just for me / Old stories - / They’re haunting me / This is nothing like I thought it would be ¶ Well I was out in my four- door / With the top down. / And I looked up / And there they were: millions of tiny teardrops… Continue reading Strange Angels
Dancing on the Bar
I'm finding that life is full of pointers from a friendly universe, to guide us on our way, if we are open to the moment like a small child seeing everything for the first time. These words from author Earl Mckenzie spoke to me this morning, and helped crystallize my resolve: Retirement gave me a sense… Continue reading Dancing on the Bar
Love Affairs
Farzaneh has an imagination, which directs his hero towards a variety of young women encountered during a year in downtown Vancouver, where “all types of girls can be found on the street”. At the end of the novel, in conversation with a waitress, he confesses “I like insecure, moody, promiscuous ice princesses who like to… Continue reading Love Affairs
Glad
My life has changed so radically in the last 7 days that I don't know what to say. Unless I write, knowing I'll reach a handful of readers, I won't have access to my true thoughts and feelings. Strange perhaps, but it's been this way for a long time. In ordinary consciousness, this radical change… Continue reading Glad
The unfairness started with Adam & Eve
Before that apple business, Adam and Eve were buddies, gambolling around the Garden with the other animals like a couple of kids and if they had sex at all, it was innocent sex. Then sly old Satan, dressed up as a snake, wriggled up to Eve, handed her the apple and aroused her curiosity with… Continue reading The unfairness started with Adam & Eve
The Bitter Taste
From Bryan White Occasionally, I like to revisit ideas that I disagree with, to see if I can find a reason to reconsider my position. It's a wonderful thing when something compels you to change your mind. It's like a whole new area of the game board opens up. Suddenly there are all these fresh… Continue reading The Bitter Taste
“Cancer, I Love You”
I’ve been following Arash’s World for years, always enjoying his essays and book reviews. I found his latest review of particular interest, and bought a copy of the book, very reasonably priced on Kindle. It’s inspired me to submit a review of my own, not in rivalry to Arash’s, but because I was given a… Continue reading “Cancer, I Love You”
Religious abuse?
My sister emailed me: I have been sorting through old books & I have just come across this New Testament belonging to you, do you remember it ? Let me know if you’d like it ? 2& half ins x 4ins in size ! I replied “Thank you! I would certainly like it, things like… Continue reading Religious abuse?
The Free Soul
I've written several times about spiritual writings from the thirteenth century: Meister Eckhart, Julian of Norwich, Margery Kempe. Each risked being fingered by the Inquisition as a heretic, and took steps to demonstrate orthodox obedience to the powerful Catholic Church. Marguerite Porete stands out from the others and is the most interesting by far. Almost… Continue reading The Free Soul
The Steps
From Bryan White So how did I get here? And what do I do now? There's a point when your kids are still little. They're little, but they're not babies anymore. They're starting to need their space. You're not just a young couple with a baby; you've officially reached that turning point where you're a… Continue reading The Steps
The Steps
So how did I get here? And what do I do now? There’s a point when your kids are still little. They’re little, but they’re not babies anymore. They’re starting to need their space. You’re not just a young couple with a baby; you’ve officially reached that turning point where you’re a “family.” So you… Continue reading The Steps
Finding my Way in the Void
The Void and I: A Story About Everything Scene one: I don’t believe in God, I think to myself ...Numbers make sense to me. God doesn’t make any sense. Thus begins a longish essay by Zat Rana. I marvel at the parallel paths in our writing and experience. He reminds me of me, never mind… Continue reading Finding my Way in the Void
Smarts
From Bryan White From time to time, I come across these women online complaining that "Men are intimidated by smart women", and I can only presume that they're talking primarily about themselves, prompted by some personal experience that they found exasperating. The thing is, I'm not sure if this is something that's actually happening, or… Continue reading Smarts
The Fraud
(writing from Mumbai) As he sat in his armchair thinking about how useless his life had been, he couldn’t help contemplating his own mortality. Had he fallen from his motorbike a few inches further to the right, the van's tyre would have run over his head. Not that he was afraid of that possibility at… Continue reading The Fraud
An open letter to the person complaining . . .
A post from Bryan White Dear Sir or Madame, or however you're supposed to formally address the fragile star children from the planet Zir who have recently come to walk among us I saw a comment you left somewhere the other day, saying that you "can't stand" when people start sentences (or maybe it was… Continue reading An open letter to the person complaining . . .
200 Words
On Twitter, Brian Spaeth set himself the goal of writing 200 words of work in progress each day. It sounds like a good exercise, though in my case there is no novel or other ongoing project that begs attention. A while ago, trying to understand the possibilities in Twitter, I set up a Tweet of… Continue reading 200 Words
The Book of Margery Kempe
Margery Kempe was a bloody-minded woman, living in a time when England was still Catholic. Bishops, priests and friars held worldly and spiritual power. bloody-minded: Chiefly Brit. Perverse, contrary; cantankerous; stubbornly intransigent or obstructive. Cf. bloody adj. OED She came from the provinces, had no education and bore 14 children to a husband socially beneath… Continue reading The Book of Margery Kempe
The Coffee House: a brief history . . .
. . . from De Quincey to Starbucks Coleridge had published Kubla Khan in 1816. The first English translations of the Arabian Nights in the early 18th century had provided an aura of magic and violent intrigue. And The Travels of Marco Polo had been widely available since the Middle Ages. As a result, the… Continue reading The Coffee House: a brief history . . .
Hilltop reverie
I went up the hill, the one at left with the rainbow. That’s how I view it from my study window, which I’ve outlined in black in the righthand picture; which in turn was photographed from the grassy slope outlined in black on the left. It’s certainly a town for lifting up one’s eyes unto… Continue reading Hilltop reverie
Angels, Chaos, Truth
The last two pieces posted here have left important questions unanswered: What can we really know? What kind of consequences may follow inaccurate assumptions? Do we have any chance of explaining the unexplained, and should we even bother? Is there a wisdom we can call upon, or allow to reach us, which we can use… Continue reading Angels, Chaos, Truth
Kant’s Trick . . .
. . . or all the philosophy you don't need to know, in 711 crisp words, by Bryan White. “How can I help seeing what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four.” “Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You… Continue reading Kant’s Trick . . .
Girl with a Pearl Earring
From Bryan White I just finished reading Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier. A few posts back, when Vincent said that he was "inspired" by books that he was waiting to get in the mail, I was in a similar situation at the time with this book. It was sitting on my bookshelf,… Continue reading Girl with a Pearl Earring
Who Sleeps with Katz
There are certain authors, that is to say certain books, that we are especially glad to have discovered. And when we discover something new and significant in our lives, the moment when it occurred is memorable. I discovered Todd Mcewen by looking up “happenstance” in the OED and finding an illustration of its use in… Continue reading Who Sleeps with Katz
Art as Generosity
Art is a way of giving to the world what one holds most precious John Sebastian Bach had good reason to be grumpy. There was scant appreciation for his enormous efforts. He didn't get paid for writing music. In those days there was a system of patronage. He'd be engaged by a city council or… Continue reading Art as Generosity
Under the surface
From In Defence of Sensuality, by John Cowper Powys, 1930: . . . To return to the lonely ichthyosaurus-ego. This ichthyosaurus-ego exists in every man, woman, and child. It is the feeling of the soul in relation to its body and in relation to what surrounds its body. It is profoundly susceptible to moods of… Continue reading Under the surface
Carbon Footprint
From Bryan White In my last post, I gave a few examples of song lyrics that I claimed "created a piece of common ground." For the sake of giving a more complete picture, I figured that I should also try to give an example of poetry or lyrics that, in my opinion, fail in this… Continue reading Carbon Footprint
A Way with Words
From Bryan White My daughter writes poetry sometimes, and a few weeks ago, as I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about some advice that I gave her years back regarding poetry writing, and I was expanding on it in my head. I find that my thoughts are often addressed to someone I… Continue reading A Way with Words
Writing Style
"One book you should read is the non-political “Impossible Owls,” a book of essays. It is great writing." This was a comment on the latest post of a blog I've been following for a while. I'm always drawn to "great writing". Thus I discovered Brian Phillips, a "gonzo journalist". You can see an extract from… Continue reading Writing Style
Just like that
This is an impromptu rant, just to get things started. Perhaps meaningless and incoherent. From someone who used to support the #metoo movement—not any more.
Sittism or Maybe Whateverism
From Bryan White The other day I was telling Vincent that I almost wish the Buddha story ended with him just literally sitting under a tree, and that was it. The more I think about it, the more I kind of like it. That might be the one sort of religion I could get behind.… Continue reading Sittism or Maybe Whateverism
Wittgenstein on imagination
And if that thing itself ends up being disappointing? All the more reason to try to return to the thing as you were imaging it beforehand. Obviously a space exists for it, the space that the thing you wanted to find defaulted on occupying. From Philosophical Investigations: If I say I did not dream last… Continue reading Wittgenstein on imagination
An Outsider’s Perspective
Alone in the house the other morning, I used this retreat to think aloud, as a place where some echoes might be heard, or simply absorbed by the walls for later, Not the house walls, this place. For it is a sounding-board. Images and ideas can get amplified, the harmonics of other minds can pitch… Continue reading An Outsider’s Perspective
Jordan Peterson & Susan Blackmore
following on and in response to Bryan's piece "Something Meaningful". Here are some notes I wrote while watching this debate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syP-OtdCIho “Peterson is a hard man to categorize” – he frowns at the very idea! “The new atheists have a problem with establishing an ethic” “Measuring well-being” – right Harris & meditation (Blackmore does it… Continue reading Jordan Peterson & Susan Blackmore
Something Meaningful
From Bryan White On YouTube, I've been watching a number of different debates (more conversations, really) between Dr. Jordan Peterson and various prominent atheists and secular scholars. I'm not sure at this point who does or doesn't know who Jordan Peterson is. I've followed his ascent with interest though a few different waves of noteriety,… Continue reading Something Meaningful
Here in October
From Bryan White Greetings! Summer has ended here in Phoenix, and I have to say, the weather has been beautiful. It's been cool and pleasant enough to open the windows -- and it's always the sweetest air that comes through open windows. We had a genuine rainy day (a couple of them actually) last week,… Continue reading Here in October
Happenstance
In my last, I mentioned “happenstance”. Is it in the OED? Certainly, and supported as always by illustrative quotations, one of which reads as follows: 1990 T. McEwen McX (1991) iii. 105 Here is music, written bold in your system by fence crows. Only a happenstance but proof that music comes and goes. So I looked up Todd McEwen. He’s quoted… Continue reading Happenstance
The Poetic
From Bryan White For a long time, I was divided between two possible directions that I wanted go with my writing. On the one hand, I felt like I wanted to write something "intellectual" for lack of a better word, something that was like a complicated machine with all kinds of ideas and moving parts,… Continue reading The Poetic
Bless my soul
Bless My Soul I know why the blackbird sings his strange and mournful song on a summer’s night ’n’ I know why the spirit brings us back into this world until we get it right ’n’ I’m on a roll and I begin to see the light bless my soul I’ve been around so many… Continue reading Bless my soul
The late V S Naipaul
The other day I briefly published a piece on the late V S Naipaul. It was a synopsis of a lecture he gave in 1990, which he called “Our Universal Civilization”(1). After 24 hours, with vague misgivings, I took it down again.(2) It was fun to revive an old skill, the one they used to… Continue reading The late V S Naipaul
“Who the …”
... mulling on the meaning of words. "Who the fuck are you lol. Cool website." Never was a message more timely. It came through six days ago on my contact form. Confronting but not hostile. I replied that the site exists to answer that very question. Though I write here publicly, I'd like to think… Continue reading “Who the …”
The Wretched
© Anup Roy 2018, edited by Vincent. The story was originally drafted in December 2008, inspiring my piece "Ghetu Files a New Story". I started an edit in Jan ’09. It didn't get very far, but Ghetu provided some edits of his own, amounting to a partial rewrite. We didn't pick it up again till… Continue reading The Wretched
About the Magdalene
Click for Wikipedia article Obtainable from Amazon etc. but beware: the alleged Kindle version is a different translation that might not contain the above chapter.
Life-story part 2
I looked again at this post today, it's not good enough, nobody will follow its intricacies, & nobody but I will care. Will try to make it more readable. Consider it as under refurbishment. "My father died in the war," I used to say, "so I never met him." It wasn't true but I wasn't… Continue reading Life-story part 2
Life-story, part 1
I want to tell the story of my entire life up to the present: the bare-bones series of events, with no fanciful embroidery. Let it be like a series of chess moves without the expert commentary. Let it be like a dispassionate ship's log. Let the facts tell their own story. As far as possible,… Continue reading Life-story, part 1
Jamaica, April 2018
We had a ten-day window free, so we seized it, took a plane to Jamaica. It was partly a surprise visit to see Karleen's granddaughter on her 21st birthday; but also to catch up with many old friends. It was too long since we'd last seen that extraordinary island, Karleen's home for more than fifty… Continue reading Jamaica, April 2018
The Moment, and the Rainbow
(post first drafted on 5th Feb) These days, I find little impulse to write. The process of dusting off more than a decade of posts for reissue, especially classifying them by topic, keeps reminding me that I don’t have anything new to say: only the same in different ways. A single set of themes can… Continue reading The Moment, and the Rainbow
Sail Away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCRGrnhdNQE I can’t remember the train of thought, or musical musing, which led me from Laurie Anderson to Randy Newman. It may have gone in the other direction. I ordered “Sail Away” on the 10th of Jan., then posted the piece about Laurie (O Superman) 2 days later. They patently have much in common, being… Continue reading Sail Away
O Superman
O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad. O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad. Hi. I'm not home right now. But if you want to leave a message, just start talking at the sound of the tone. Hello? This is your Mother. Are you there? Are you… Continue reading O Superman
Jotted psalm
We cannot own love, only glimpse, feel it touch us, pass through, dwell in us. We are more or less feeble receivers, picking up signals from an unnown transmitter. Science is a petty thing before love, for it wants to know, grasp, possess, dismantle to fragments harness, claim, proclaim. Yet science is a thing: wonderful,… Continue reading Jotted psalm
Adaptation
I wasted some time crafting a graphic: a virtual keyboard for mouse or touch-screen, fingertip-ready for the curious adventurer. The idea was to provide a console, like an array of organ-stops—or a dashboard, in current IT jargon. In this way, I would offer the reader the choice of themes running through this blog like the… Continue reading Adaptation
When the Past Haunts the Night
Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord; and by thy great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night ... I find myself surprised to discover that the boarding school* I was so glad to leave in 1954 is actually still open for business, run by the same headmaster and his… Continue reading When the Past Haunts the Night
Remembrance
We just got back from the Remembrance Day Parade in town. There was a biting wind. In previous years we've attended the church service, but today it was enough to watch the march-past, the saluting of and by the senior officers; to see the Mayor, aldermen, bigwigs, old soldiers and uniformed youth. We were dressed… Continue reading Remembrance
An Air for Cello and Soprano
Öffne dich, mein ganzes Herze Open up, my whole heart Click here to open the sound file in a new tab From J. S. Bach, Cantata for the first Sunday in Advent, Nun Komm, der Heiden Heiland (BWV61). John Eliot Gardner with the English Baroque Soloists at St Maria im Kapital, Köln, December 3rd, 2000.… Continue reading An Air for Cello and Soprano
BWV 140, a Church Cantata of J.S. Bach
Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme (Awake, calls the voice to us) Ton Koopman’s version, with lovely trills and such expressive faces on the video. Koopman is a Dutch conductor, organist and harpsichordist. Like John Eliot Gardner, he completed a project to perform all the sacred cantatas, I can't remember how many there are. I… Continue reading BWV 140, a Church Cantata of J.S. Bach
How we got here, where we go next
I had pretty much done with A Wayfarer’s Notes, actually, didn’t feel loyalty to it any more, only a certain nostalgia, as when you pass a house where you once lived. You see it now owned by someone else, and realize that the fabric of the building, the bricks and mortar, are not what made… Continue reading How we got here, where we go next
Tall Stories
A Wayfarer’s Notes has “upped and went”; which is not to say that it won’t ever complete a round trip and return*. Vincent is Australian-born. Those fellows go walkabout, perhaps for decades. When I left Perth in 1946, the father I never knew remained there. Now I’ve discovered he’s still there, hale and hearty, aged 95.… Continue reading Tall Stories
There’s a Grand Scheme of Things
Is there a grand scheme of things? Yes, this is something I do believe. As to what it is, I cannot directly say: only circumstantially, in reference to what we can see with our own eyes. As I said in my last, politics and public discourse are toxic these days. After hearing what passes as… Continue reading There’s a Grand Scheme of Things
The Idea of Perfection
Perfection certainly doesn’t exist in the seen world. I conclude it must lie in the beholder's eye*. To see only perfection is surely a knack worth having. How we use words is our own business, for such is language; and how they help us understand one another is a great wonder. For some, perfection is… Continue reading The Idea of Perfection
Friendly White Sheep
Karleen & I were crossing this meadow on Christmas day, it being a mild winter and the grass still growing enough to be cropped by a flock of sheep. They mostly minded their own business and kept at a distance, except for this one. We thought at first she wanted something from us, perhaps some… Continue reading Friendly White Sheep
Friendly black sheep
Loving What Is
I came to know about Byron Katie through her husband Stephen Mitchell whom I encountered through his translations of Gilgamesh and the Tao Te Ching. Her work, as expressed in books, videos, website and notably workshops staged in many countries, fits easily into the “self-help” genre, especially that aspect which focuses on human relationships and… Continue reading Loving What Is
English literature’s first terrorist
From the Introduction to John Carey's new book: Honour and empire, with revenge enlarged, By conquering this new world, compels me now To do what else though damned I should abhor. (Paradise Lost, Book 4: 390-92) “This is a terrorist’s logic, and the Satan of Paradise Lost is English literature’s first terrorist. Terrorism—the destruction of… Continue reading English literature’s first terrorist
How to quell terrorists
Disclaimer: Vincent does not know how to quell terrorists, religious or Communist, and has no opinion on any methods for doing so, past, present or future. My title is deliberately provocative and refers to methods used in 1954 in Malaya. When Burr Deming, in “Fair and Unbalanced” (see Pingback at bottom of comments below), says… Continue reading How to quell terrorists
Travelling on Foot
A Wayfarer’s Notes has changed its motto again. Farewell “not-doing”; back to Werner Herzog and his dictum: “The world reveals itself to those who travel on foot.” To be sure what he means, I check context. Patrick House: You once walked from Munich to Paris to visit your dying friend, and in your film “Wheel… Continue reading Travelling on Foot
Like a letter with my address on it
It’s not easy to get anything done at present. My doctor suggests I blame the treatment, not the condition itself, and not to expect the return of normal health till December. So I’ll try and tie up a loose end or two, in the meantime. For example, I quoted a tag at the end of… Continue reading Like a letter with my address on it
Clouds and simple things . . .
I like clouds, trees and grass. They help reconnect with my primitive self, which has no care for fashion, technology or politics. So we went to Saunderton Lee, where I photographed flat-bottomed clouds, the sort you get on a day of sunshine and rain, and which first struck me as worthy of note one August… Continue reading Clouds and simple things . . .
Like a letter . . . (2)
following on from previous post Stephen Mitchell, adventurous translator of classic texts, attempts to explain wei wu wei, or “not-doing”, using words like these: It’s when the game plays the game; the poem writes the poem; we can’t tell the dancer from the dance. Bryan voices an objection: But with the dancer or the athlete, there have… Continue reading Like a letter . . . (2)
Back on the Briar Patch
Note to self on 12th March 2018: there is something seriously wrong with this post, but I'll fix it some day. Comment on 1st April 2026: I've no idea what, but have put in some missing graphics I never like to fight with a tar-baby. That's a game for losers, as Brer Rabbit discovers, when… Continue reading Back on the Briar Patch
Julian of Norwich
. . . all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. The Web is riddled with orphaned "quotes": mangled versions of what someone—the author or one of his characters—may or may not have said. We use them for our own purposes, with no regard for the… Continue reading Julian of Norwich
“There is No Other Doer but He”
As journals, blogs are like life: open-ended. You finish one piece, you've no idea what the next will say, or whether there'll be a next one. After ending my last with a quote from Julian of Norwich, to round the thing off as I thought, I never expected to encounter her again so soon. A… Continue reading “There is No Other Doer but He”
Seeing a Pattern
It's definitely time for another post. Ideally, some inner process would prompt me into bursting forth, some natural impulse like buds and blossoms in Spring. For something had been going on while the trees were still bare in winter; a preparation, invisible to the untrained eye. But this morning I'm starting from cold. My conscious… Continue reading Seeing a Pattern
The Rules of the Tribes
Like Paul on the road to Damascus, I know exactly when my eyes were opened. It was Monday April 3rd, on a trip to town for two significant appointments. One was to see my specialist nurse, to arrange details for my stay at Stoke Mandeville Hospital. It didn't happen then. The other was to collect… Continue reading The Rules of the Tribes
Tethered to a Robo-goat
the privacy curtains in all the local hospitals have a landscape of red kites soaring above the Chilterns, with venerable buildings such as Church of St Lawrence with its Golden Ball visible for miles on a hill in West Wycombe, and the Guildhall in the High Street pastel done from life. I climbed up the… Continue reading Tethered to a Robo-goat
Eleventh Child
I woke in the night after a dream, went downstairs to jot it down in the great leatherbound book from Margaret in Canada; then went back to bed and slept again. On awakening once more in the morning, I jotted down another dream. I tried to polish up the drafts into something coherent, but it… Continue reading Eleventh Child
The Exchange of Gifts
As Dr Johnson put it: Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully. Even a personal health scare, when you don’t really know what’s going on, does concentrate the mind to an extent, till you decide that it’s going to be all… Continue reading The Exchange of Gifts
Owen Glendower
Written in 2002 for La Lettre Powysienne, a periodical edited by Jacqueline Peltier I don’t know of any novel to compare it with, unless you feel able to imagine that Sir Walter Scott, whom Powys admired, had like Coleridge experimented with drugs and rewritten his Quentin Durward under the influence of peyote or LSD, and… Continue reading Owen Glendower
How everything fits together
Things fit together, said I. That’s what they are supposed to do, said Karleen. If only we have faith, said I—in the right things, of course. We were having our morning tea in bed while doing the cryptic crossword, where things always fit together, if you puzzle over them enough. The clues fit the answers… Continue reading How everything fits together
John o’Saturn meets women from Earth
Written in 2002 for La Lettre Powysienne, a periodical edited by Jacqueline Peltier How many autobiographies have been written in which the author fails to mention his own mother? One at least: and in this instance he goes further and omits from his narrative any reference to his five sisters and two wives. If I… Continue reading John o’Saturn meets women from Earth
A Glastonbury Romance
Here's another essay written for Jacqueline Peltier's Lettre Powysienne, a little magazine in two languages for a list of subscribers. On her website you can only find her French translation, but I've fortunately kept the English original, written in 2005. When I mentioned "Amazon" in my first paragraph, she asked me to explain what it… Continue reading A Glastonbury Romance
Peg, a minor character
In the last couple of days I've been horrified to discover myself becoming a hapless patient, lacking the means or strength to act in the world and thus demonstrate personhood, that prerequisite for the continued will to live. It was like being a ghost. It did not even occur to me to pray or give… Continue reading Peg, a minor character
Kindness (audio podcast)
click to to access the podcast transcript … I don’t know why, but the pain and the weariness started first thing Sunday morning, February 5th and here it is today, on the 23rd. I don’t even know what. At first, when I was told it was diverticulitis, I took the antibiotic and thought it was… Continue reading Kindness (audio podcast)
“All actual life is encounter”
We went to the Island for a long weekend with a couple of friends, staying at Mimosa Lodge, where I took a photo at dawn across the Solent from our bedroom window. Outside it was chilly and neither of us got to take photos, especially as we were acting as guides to our friends, to… Continue reading “All actual life is encounter”
When I Gave Trump a Chance
I discovered this old post today, (March 17th 2026) never published before. I give everyone a chance, it's my weakness. Like making friends with Jamie, a homeless young man, who's now been jailed. I found myself nervous and a little tense waiting for the new President to take the oath and deliver his inaugural speech.… Continue reading When I Gave Trump a Chance
The gift of literacy
When she was ten days old, Karleen was placed in the care of her grandparents, leaving her mother free to come to England, get properly settled, then call for her daughter to join her. But when she began to talk, her great-grandmother took her and brought her home to the country parish of Westmoreland, where… Continue reading The gift of literacy
Escaping One’s Enemy
From a still-slight acquaintance, I learn that Martin Buber was activated by people more than ideas. My last post, which got chewed up by an impatient mistake, had a long quote from his book I and Thou, ending with the words, "All actual life is encounter". For that is the meaning of his I-You. Where… Continue reading Escaping One’s Enemy
Taking the Bull by the Horns
I’m writing this post in pen and ink† while my computer’s still at the mender’s, being restored from the wrecking job I did on its data. An ignorant computer user could never have ruined it so thoroughly, but I’ve proved the old adage, that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The more you know,… Continue reading Taking the Bull by the Horns
Breaking Wild
From John o’Donohue: A house can become a little self-enclosed world. Sheltered there, we learn to forget the wild, magnificent universe in which we live. When we domesticate our minds and hearts, we reduce our lives. We disinherit ourselves as children of the universe. Almost without knowing it, we slip inside ready-made roles and routines… Continue reading Breaking Wild
Merry Christmas, Messrs Deming
This post is dedicated with thanks to the late W. Edwards Deming, also his living namesakes Burr & Raymond, who may be related in some way, or might see in themselves some family resemblance to him. It’s intended as a quick stocking-stuffer or stopgap—the post I planned refuses to come. Even when I have nothing… Continue reading Merry Christmas, Messrs Deming
Who am I?
Based on jotted ideas recorded while out walking on a winter's day December 20th, 2016 I've been thinking all week about hate, without feeling any hate myself. And also about slogans—how they brainwash us, not into believing what they want us to believe, but by reducing the subtlety of our ideas, preventing us from listening… Continue reading Who am I?
Talking the Walk
Transcribed from an ad-hoc recording made on December 14th between 12:30 and 13:50, while walking the above route. To hear the audio please click here. It will be played in a new window. There are problems with politics [referring to words rather than deeds]: when it’s diminished to binary options, with clichés replacing awareness when… Continue reading Talking the Walk
Eye-Witness
There’s a particular spot in town where I’ve seen a few distressing incidents. I don’t why they happen there, at the entrance to a large supermarket. Usually it’s some altercation, even a clan feud with vicious words and gestures that might detonate a fight at any moment. Sometimes there’s bitterness and tears between a man… Continue reading Eye-Witness
The girl who rocked the Government
We met on a summer afternoon in ’59, two 17-year-olds, Pisces born within days of each other. We discovered we had much in common. Both from fatherless backgrounds, lacking any proper home. Each had been granted a single talent, you might say, in compensation for the lack. As her father-figure Stephen Ward said, she had… Continue reading The girl who rocked the Government
Pastures New
I posted this when I decided to transfer from Blogger to WordPress on 15th November 2015
From the gone past
By definition the past is lost. We can’t live there any more; only in memory, imagination and books. To my simple mind, a progressive is one who’s excited by plans for the future, whereas a conservative takes inspiration from aspects of the past. In my own case, I concur with Robbie Burns that the best-laid… Continue reading From the gone past
White and Black…
...but Cool for Cats Some people close to me have been white supremacists and racists. So I can speak about them with personal knowledge, so far as that’s possible. It remains true that none of us can really know what it’s like to be someone else. For example, I’ve lived with Karleen for a dozen… Continue reading White and Black…
The legend of honey
We find ourselves drawn to joy, truth, harmony, security, beauty, thrills, fulfilment, meaning, ecstasy. We don’t want to be stuck in some pointless, shitty situation. Such is our yearning for the pure wild honey of imagination, that we’re willing to risk being stung as we trace the sweet comb to some nest high up in… Continue reading The legend of honey
University dreams
Continued from "How I came to inhabit this body". I’d been accepted for some Civil Service or academic post, it wasn’t clear which or what. A colleague from a different department invited me for a chat, a sort of all-day induction. He was such good company that I felt guilty to be getting paid for… Continue reading University dreams
The Sellout
The last time I read a Booker Prize-winning novel was when Midnight’s Children came out in paperback. It wasn’t the best reading fun—or the most edifying, come to that. This time it’s happened by accident, when I heard the author interviewed on Radio 4. If this is the man, I thought, I may like his… Continue reading The Sellout
Loitering
Words have a power of their own. Poets especially like to play with this power, like perfumiers combining ingredients. I often find myself brooding on a word or phrase, perhaps from what someone says, or a book, or as spoken to my inward ear. In my last piece, self-mocking at the time, I conveyed an… Continue reading Loitering
Just pix
impromptu pose
Four Weddings and a Funeral
We managed to make it to his last show yesterday, but not to any of his weddings. That’s him on the left when he came to ours. We didn’t know him well but his acts of kindness were unforgettable. Often it’s the way of things that you don’t find out what a person is till… Continue reading Four Weddings and a Funeral
In the Mirror
imes I have to look in the mirror to be reminded of who I am. Not a deliberate act but incidental, while shaving. It recalls to me who I am now, what I have become. At other times, perhaps in the night, I may lie awake when anticipating some event of uncertain outcome, some issue… Continue reading In the Mirror
Eternity on the Desborough Road
After the questionnaire, and further Skype-messaging with the lad (a good way to preserve the minutes of our meetings), it was time to meet Karleen for lunch in the pub. As usual on a Friday, I took along the 2-wheel trolley (“cart” in American). Karleen had already paid for our breadfruit, mangoes, yams & plantains… Continue reading Eternity on the Desborough Road
Lysistrata
Originally performed in classical Athens in 411 BC, it is a comic account of one woman’s extraordinary mission to end the Peloponnesian War. Lysistrata persuades the women of Greece to wiRthhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing the men to negotiate peace—a strategy, however, that inflames the battle between… Continue reading Lysistrata
Theology of the Body
It’s a month since I wrote Living in a Body. I’ve been wrestling with a sequel ever since. One was briefly published, and Bryan added some cogent comments, but it was no good, for myriad reasons. Let this post dispose of the matter, the better to move on. As for Not-Doing, whereby, according to Lao-Tzu,… Continue reading Theology of the Body
Passion and Society
>The present train of thought started 54 years ago with a red book. Technically it was shoplifting but I thought of it as using the campus bookshop as a lending library. In mitigation of the offence, I returned it stealthily to the original shelf ten days later. That was the hard part, very scary. I’ve… Continue reading Passion and Society
Black Books
In reality I don’t have a front garden, just a concreted area big enough to hold four bins, for the separated recyclables, and a few plant pots. It also serves to provide a seven-foot gap between our front door and the sidewalk. There’s no separation from our neighbours’ concreted front area, and their front door… Continue reading Black Books
If I had stayed in Cowes
We took a short day-trip to The Island. I went to live there aged 12 and left at 18, so it speaks to me in tones of a golden hue, of all that I did there—and didn’t. Especially in Cowes, East and West, where I lived first. It remains much as it was sixty years… Continue reading If I had stayed in Cowes
Living in a body
In my last I described how a stranger’s eyes met mine in the street. I imagined that his glance said “My soul soars, but I’m stuck in this body.” I don’t claim the power to discern a person’s thought from his silent face. More likely, the thought had lain dormant in me for a while,… Continue reading Living in a body
Figures in a landscape
I was walking along Desborough Road this morning, past the little shops and into town. You see every kind of person, it seems, from anywhere on earth. Something struck me about one man, the way he glanced at me as I passed. It seemed to say “My soul soars, but here I am stuck with… Continue reading Figures in a landscape
Grace & Effort
I ended my last with this: “All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” When I try I usually fail at first, then again & again. I don’t like to give up. It’s a compulsion. I was going to write in praise of failure—clearly an… Continue reading Grace & Effort
Brexit dream 2
Yesterday I succumbed to a feeling of exhaustion, after the strain of the last few days, which got to me in spite of trying to detach from it, for I knew that the situation was not mine to untangle. So after breakfast I went back to bed and succumbed to a blessed emptiness. After a… Continue reading Brexit dream 2
Beggar and Brexit Encounter
I tend to put my trust in the reality I see with my own eyes. . . . Here we have immigrants of every kind, including the odd terrorist, as we know from rare arrests on behalf of the security services. Is there much prejudice in our community? Yes of course, as much as anywhere,… Continue reading Beggar and Brexit Encounter
Manhattan Odyssey
[Written on July 16th, 2016. See also the version published on Amazon.com, which includes a review of an earlier version published here on September 6th, 2013.] A reader of this blog has published a novel. I promised to submit a review for Amazon and then spent weeks agonizing about how to do it justice, instead… Continue reading Manhattan Odyssey
The Cycle of Imperfection
For months I’ve been working—which means mainly procrastinating—on a new book. Instead of me boring you with an essay on its structure, you can download a sample. Initially I titled it A Cycle of Days, reflecting the way that it reflects the changing months and seasons across the years. It’s been quite a slog. I… Continue reading The Cycle of Imperfection
Nake Nula Wauŋ Welo
This mysterious piece dated July 2016 appears in a copy I'd saved on an external hard drive with no further explanation. I haven't been able to trace any comments and suspect it was never published before. Nake Nula Wauŋ Welo We are Lawful. We Do. We Make. We Be. We are developing infrastructure to renew… Continue reading Nake Nula Wauŋ Welo
Brexit dream 3
I dreamt about Clive again, along with two other friends. We’ve been on a trip to Brussels (as I did with school friends in ’58): the headquarters of the European Union. Now it’s time to go back. Our Metro train has just arrived at Brussels Midi, the terminus for the Eurostar train to London. You… Continue reading Brexit dream 3
. . . Until the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse land at Heathrow
I listened this morning to Peter Hennessy being interviewed by Paddy O’Connell on Radio 4’s “Broadcasting House” (starts at 54:11). His views on the impact of Brexit largely match my own. It took an hour or so to transcribe, but has saved the much greater effort of trying to cover similar ground in my own… Continue reading . . . Until the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse land at Heathrow
England’s green and pleasant land
I’ve been agitated lately, it started a day or so before Polling Day. I was astonished to find how much this Referendum mattered to me. In the end I went to the favourite spot I’ve written about before (England Have My Bones) with camera & voice recorder; recalling as I went Ellie’s comment on a… Continue reading England’s green and pleasant land
How we got here, where we go next
I had pretty much done with A Wayfarer’s Notes, actually, didn’t feel loyalty to it any more, only a certain nostalgia, as when you pass a house where you once lived. You see it now owned by someone else, and realize that the fabric of the building, the bricks and mortar, are not what made… Continue reading How we got here, where we go next
Brexit Dream 1
I was going to call this "The Vision of Perfection", I'll try and explain later. But then I jotted down the outline of a confused dream I'd just woken from. An interpretation slowly took form. To dream it at all seemed exhausting. There was a great deal of fruitless effort being made, seven nights in… Continue reading Brexit Dream 1
What to Do
It’s a relief to come back here and write a post. I’ve endured weeks of “nothing to say”. Instead I pursued my latest book project, alluded to in the previous post, which has involved pruning, refining, selecting, truncating, rewriting—in short editing—what I’ve written over the last ten years. As a task it’s a long winding… Continue reading What to Do
Our Trip to Brussels in 2016
On 22 March 2016, two coordinated terrorist attacks in and close to Brussels, Belgium, were carried out by the Islamic State (IS). Two suicide bombers detonated bombs at Brussels Airport in Zaventem just outside Brussels, and one detonated a bomb on a train leaving Maelbeek/Maelbeek metro station in the European Quarter of Brussels. Thirty-two people… Continue reading Our Trip to Brussels in 2016
Civilisation or Madness
Originally called “A new muse, and “Civilisation”” I had an idea a few weeks ago, and it’s held good so far, without being abandoned like all the others. I’ve worked on it every day, and wanted to write a post about it too, but it seemed to be too early, perhaps still is. I don’t… Continue reading Civilisation or Madness
Breadcrumbs . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . and how a new diagram was born. Ever since abandoning all idea of publication in book form, I’ve been looking for a way to help a reader visiting this site. 325 posts have been reissued after editing & classifying their themes. Expect the same number again trickling through… Continue reading Breadcrumbs . . . . . . .
Our planned trip to Brussels
There were bombings in Brussels two days ago, at the Airport and a Metro Station, by a group calling itself Islamic State. g The last time I went there was in 1958, along with three friends my age, to see the Brussels World Fair, the first of its kind after World War II. Countries built… Continue reading Our planned trip to Brussels
While I Can…Because I Can
It’s the second day of March, with a bit of blue sky but a biting damp wind. I walk along Desborough Road to the bus station, destination and agenda undecided. Why? Because I can. Whatever I can now do, one day I won’t be able to. No one knows the day, or the hour. Thanks,… Continue reading While I Can…Because I Can
Secret Strength
When we are alert to its promptings, the unconscious mind can reach us through various means. Blake had his waking visions; many of us have dreams. They may clothe themselves in a jumble of recent experiences, yet contain latent messages ready for decoding, which may open our eyes to things our well-controlled consciousness has kept… Continue reading Secret Strength
That which is unchosen
On Monday morning I passed through the alleyway that leads to the children’s playground at the back of our house. It’s my shortcut to everywhere. There are “No Dogs” signs but dogs can’t read and their owners don’t care. Emerging from the shortcut into the playground I heard the single word “Unchosen”, as if whispered… Continue reading That which is unchosen
I don’t know
I don’t know if body and soul can exist separately. I don’t know if there is a God separate from creation. I don’t know if a theory of everything is possible, so that what I think and feel can find its place in science. I don’t know whether it’s love that makes the world go… Continue reading I don’t know
Cuttings
My last two posts, along with their comments, threw out several shoots worth developing further. So I’ve taken cuttings, as gardeners do. Given time and care, they take root and expand. Here’s one: When we reach the end there is nothing left to do but give and receive. (2) I think the best way to… Continue reading Cuttings
Chance Encounters
(Of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven . . . (Matthew 24:36) We cannot know how much time we have left. I met Jack the other day, an old man struggling at his garden gate to bring in a freshly emptied rubbish bin, while holding on to his… Continue reading Chance Encounters
Many Are the Ways
It’s been a busy few weeks, and a kind of milestone. Karleen’s retirement after 42 years’ continuous employment has been finalized; and we’ve had a new kitchen installed. These two events seem to have balanced the scales of Destiny. For on the one hand, we’re no longer tethered to this unique spot on the globe’s… Continue reading Many Are the Ways
Indefinite Sabbatical
Undeterred by the sign, I had my first and last kangaroo-burger here, on May 23rd 2012, somewhere in Amsterdam, near a canal.This blog has been going nearly ten years now. Why? Occupational therapy, mania, addiction? May the world judge. It’s time to take a rest, of uncertain duration. There are other things to explore, other… Continue reading Indefinite Sabbatical
The Unnamed Road
I walked around The Pastures, a hillside north of our house, musing as follows. "The earth is poised and serene, showing through its balanced complexities how intelligently creative it is. Human beings are restless. Prejudice is inborn and entirely natural, though aspects of it are ugly. It is beneficial for us to live in accordance… Continue reading The Unnamed Road
My Life as Art
At the end of my last I promised to be a guinea-pig for the proposal that “we each and everyone be conscious artists, painting our existence on to the canvas of each new day”. What could it mean? Could it be played out practically? Natalie had a suggestion that “to be an artist in one’s… Continue reading My Life as Art
Life and Art
Writing is not easy. The trouble is, I’m too full of ideas. They come in bunches and I don’t know quite what to do with them. My monkey-mind thinks they should be cut into neat shapes and sewn into a quilt for posterity, so I spend hours trying to fit them together like a jigsaw… Continue reading Life and Art
England Have My Bones
I suppose we all have an idea of what constitutes real living. It’s not all those compromises we endure while we bridge the gap between yesterday and tomorrow. Real living is when we can say “this is it!” asking nothing from tomorrow at all. By this criterion, my real life has lately begun. The evening… Continue reading England Have My Bones
Tsundoku
I’m writing this for Rob, to celebrate the fact that we have known one another 42 years, and that he rang me the other evening, and it was good. When we have been in touch he has been generous, but we have also fallen out a few times. When I was in need he was… Continue reading Tsundoku
True Pride
In my last I meant to say that God whether existent or not can provide a focus for the spiritual life. I mentioned atheist Sam Harris approvingly for demonstrating that the separate “I” is an illusion: there is only the One. In his own words, “Experiencing this directly—not merely thinking about it—is the true beginning… Continue reading True Pride
The opium of the people
This is what Karl Marx actually said: The struggle against religion is, therefore, indirectly the struggle against that world whose spiritual aroma is religion. Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of… Continue reading The opium of the people
Death Row
Yesterday the young man who shot 12 people in a cinema was sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of release, though some had expected the death penalty. No one has any idea why he did it—the court said it wasn’t relevant. I wasn’t interested in the verdict or his motives. It was just a… Continue reading Death Row
The Gordian Knot
The sword is not just a symbol of killing. In the days before stainless steel, a sharp bright sword was a symbol of value and power. Famous or magical swords had names. Excalibur is raised out of the Lake by the Lady who dwells therein so that it may pass directly to its intended holder… Continue reading The Gordian Knot
Beliefs 1: Pursue Your Dreams
What is belief? . . . the human necessity to have a working framework of beliefs to help us get through each day, and so on till the end of our lifespan . . . . . . Most human beings most of the time are uncomfortable with doubt. We crave certainty, but there isn’t… Continue reading Beliefs 1: Pursue Your Dreams
The Organizing Power of Words
I write here to express my thoughts and it’s difficult because they branch out in all directions, and I struggle to find an organizing principle. My thought is a response to the interaction of myself with the rest of the world. It’s constantly dynamic, like the global weather system. If I manage to write anything… Continue reading The Organizing Power of Words
A trip back
When I was 12 I lived in East Cowes, shown below on the left of the creek they call the River Medina. The next year we moved across to West Cowes. The constant to-and-fro of yachts on the Medina with their tall masts makes a bridge impossible. ferry arriving at East Cowes. we'll get on… Continue reading A trip back
Christina in a bookshop
I was dumbfounded: confounded and struck dumb at the same time. It was a congenial place to be, I discovered, being content to stay there a while, sheltered in the dignity and grace of not knowing, that is, shedding false knowledge. But now I find myself wanting to speak, for which I must pay the… Continue reading Christina in a bookshop
Fingers and Moon
I was dumbfounded: confounded and struck dumb at the same time. It was a congenial place to be, I discovered, being content to stay there a while, sheltered in the dignity and grace of not knowing, that is, shedding false knowledge... But now I find myself wanting to speak, for which I must pay the… Continue reading Fingers and Moon
Parallel Lives
In my last I tried to convey something of the fascination of Cowes in a few shots all taken within a hundred yards of each other. But I’m hardly interested in picturesqueness for its own sake; only in what touches the soul. Moving to Cowes in 1954 was the beginning of a new life. Till… Continue reading Parallel Lives
The Trip
Trip, n(1): 3. A short voyage or journey; a ‘run’. Apparently originally a sailor’s term, but very soon extended to a journey on land. 5. slang (orig. U.S.) a. A hallucinatory experience induced by a drug, esp. LSD. In my last I recalled three authors who pursued the Zen form of enlightenment and tried to… Continue reading The Trip
Full Circle
. I've kept this post in for the comments only See "The Buddha and the Corpse" for a more interesting post
The Buddha and the Corpse
"What’s that book you’re reading?" asks my neighbour, curiously. There’s a score of us arranged along the cobblestones, leaning against the retaining wall of the public gardens—le Square du Vert Galant. We are proud to be Les Beatniks of Paris, or Les Clochards - the hobos. We’re blocking the public path that borders the dark… Continue reading The Buddha and the Corpse
Here I am
On Sunday morning I walked to a local supermarket for fresh milk and bread. I felt a tangible perfection in the air. I want to analyse that phrase, extract meaning from it. There was something, it was tangible, I don’t suppose it was literally something in the air; but it made me feel I could… Continue reading Here I am
An African Sampler
Posted on Apr 14, 2015by Vincent See this video (opens in a separate tab); also this post “Greater than the sum of the parts”. The guiding principle for the selection of tracks was to pick some personal favourites. I’ve made it unbalanced by choosing three songs from Orchestra Baobab which display Afro-Cuban influence. In defence, I can only say… Continue reading An African Sampler
Jua Kali
Jua Kali is Swahili for 'the hot sun' referring to artisans and vendors who work outside. On our dining room wall we've hung a batik picture of Kikuyu tribesmen, bought from an ethnic shop in Edinburgh, like the other things displayed in these photos It’s spring here, and that creates a fruitful restlessness in me,… Continue reading Jua Kali
Greater than the Sum of its Parts
In truth, I write these pieces in order to discover what currents are stirring within me, by bringing them to conscious thought. I also do it to practise a craft. Any craft would do, but this one is the most convenient, and the one I know best. I have to go beyond the ephemeral notions… Continue reading Greater than the Sum of its Parts
Horoscope, 1974
In this post, I described how I'd got rid of the IKEA bookshelves and replaced them with my hand-built ones. The result was fortunate... After replacing my old bookshelves, I was restless for more domestic improvements, so launched into tidying up a collection of papers I’ve been carrying around for years, and throwing away the… Continue reading Horoscope, 1974
The bench on St. Michael’s Green
the bench where I sat Introduction The piece below dates from about 2000, and remains displayed on a website I first created when the cybersphere was young and the web-log had yet to be invented. It belongs to a time when I would drive my daughter to Beaconsfield on a Saturday morning, and sit on… Continue reading The bench on St. Michael’s Green
Getting spruced up
This could describe me: While out walking I’ve formulated perfect phrases which I can’t remember when I get home. I’m not sure if the ineffable poetry of these phrases belongs totally to what they were (and which I forgot), or partly to what they weren’t. [from fragment 399 of The Book of Disquiet, by Fernando… Continue reading Getting spruced up
The happy ending
A couple of weeks ago I had a visit from my headmaster*. He’s long dead of course, but dreams have something in common with memory and ghosts—which the French call “revenants”—returning ones. With no difficulty, they can span the passage of time. They can bring closure to an unresolved past, through forgiveness and understanding. Until… Continue reading The happy ending
The God Interviews
I find writing here harder and harder, sometimes labouring for days over a draft and then scrapping it. In the early days I’d write simply, with the freshness and naïveté of an unguarded moment among friends; something I only manage now in comments and emails, which might be a bit loose and slapdash, but seldom… Continue reading The God Interviews
Anam Ċara
I ended a recent post, “On Being Animal”, with these words: To become animal is to regain Eden. This is why I don’t have a use for the word “spirituality”. I take those words back. In any case they don’t make too much sense. It’s tedious of me to be so pedantic, and something that… Continue reading Anam Ċara
Enthousiasmos
Copied from Enthousiasmos, a post from Natalie D'Arbeloff about her invitation to see her in early 2015 Greek: entheos - divinely inspired, possessed by a god The enthusiasm with which many of us embraced blogging has dwindled with time, as most enthusiasms tend to do. No, I'll rephrase: it's not time which dilutes enthusiasm but one's own inability, or… Continue reading Enthousiasmos
La Vie en Rosé
The art of Natalie D’Arbeloff, which often combines image and text, has a directness and simplicity that may at first sight appear childlike. But it’s quite the reverse. For all its immediacy, it’s both subtle and profound, adult in the best as opposed to the X-rated sense. It comes from someone who knows the world… Continue reading La Vie en Rosé
Why did the R101 Crash?
I mentioned in the comments section of my last that scientists these days are dependent on research funding, academic tenure etc., so they may feel constrained in what they can say or do; whereas in the nineteenth century and earlier, scientists could speculate fearlessly. Agreeing with this, Natalie suggested that some ideas derided by orthodoxy… Continue reading Why did the R101 Crash?
On being an animal
What I really wanted to say in my last was: “I am an animal”. The intended piece got hijacked by its own introduction, if you can believe that. “I am an animal” sounds like an oxymoron, requires an explanation before you can make sense of it. “I am . . .” implies awareness. “Animal” implies… Continue reading On being an animal
Intelligent Design
I’m sure there must be various ways to introduce the elements of science in schools, some good and some bad. Let the reader judge. Aged 9, I was excited by the prospect of Science lessons. We started by proving the existence of air, a project which seemed disappointingly trivial and uninteresting. We thought we knew… Continue reading Intelligent Design
On Human Behaviour
Sartre in 1955 Among the comments on my last, Ellie referred to some words by Jean-Paul Sartre. I have expanded her quotation a little, for its context: “We are left alone, without excuse. That is what I mean when I say man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet… Continue reading On Human Behaviour
Blessed Life
This was written on December 14th, 2014. Back then, such thoughts came that I find astonishing today*. Simply to be alive is such a blessing that we rarely find ourselves able to grasp it. To grasp something is to feel it in the moment, not just as a logical proposition but an experienced reality, that… Continue reading Blessed Life
Indoor Travel
From ‘A Factless Biography’ fragment 451, in Richard Zenith’s translation of The Book of Disquiet, by Fernando Pessoa, who lived in a small Lisbon apartment Travel? One need only exist to travel. I go from day to day, as from station to station, in the train of my body or my destiny, leaning out over… Continue reading Indoor Travel
I am not a machine
Click for an animated version of this diagram I spent days trying to compose a sequel to my last post about Maggie Boden’s book, The Creative Mind. She had outlined a science of creativity, leaning on her expertise in Computational Psychology, which she more or less invented. A learned paper says ‘Computational psychologists are “theorists… Continue reading I am not a machine
The Creative Mind
The other morning I turned on Radio 4 whilst washing the breakfast dishes and it sounded interesting, a kind of reminiscence. I’d missed the beginning and took a little while to catch on. I liked the sound of the lady though, full of fun, approachable and without false modesty. When she mentioned a former post… Continue reading The Creative Mind
At the Moot spot
moot, adj.:Originally in Law, of a case, issue, etc.: proposed for discussion at a moot. Later also gen.: open to argument, debatable; uncertain, doubtful; unable to be firmly resolved. (OED) It’s a long time since I went wayfaring, so long that I became a malade imaginaire and my soul went into hibernation. The vicious circle… Continue reading At the Moot spot
The Call to Service
updates to this post pending, e.g. correction of links - Oct 7th, '25 (being the third of a trilogy on “Religion and Violence”, a theme covered in Karen Armstrong’s latest book, Fields of Blood) Background What I learned about religion in childhood came almost entirely from school. The single exception was a phase when my… Continue reading The Call to Service
“They hold life cheap”
The subtitle of Karen Armstrong’s latest book Fields of Blood is “Religion and the History of Violence”. At the end of my last I said she was arguing the wrong case, and promised to write a follow-up post nominating the right case. This is the best I can do. As to whether religion is involved,… Continue reading “They hold life cheap”
Fields of Blood
Imagine an impassioned debate at the Oxford Union, “That this House finds Religion to Have Been the Cause of All the Major Wars in History.” Arguing for the motion, suggests Karen Armstrong, would be “American commentators and psychiatrists, London taxi drivers and Oxford academics.” Arguing against, at unnecessary length, is Karen Armstrong’s new book, Fields… Continue reading Fields of Blood
Inner & Outer Landscape
I decided to go for my usual loaf of bread by a circuitous route, over the Pastures; or rather, my feet took me that way while I readied myself to share what I had to say to Olympus, my companion of the road, expert at listening because he’s a state-of-the-art voice recorder. You’ll see from… Continue reading Inner & Outer Landscape
At the Blue Note Café
It was dusk, on a winding country road hemmed in by darkening hedgerows on either side. Round a bend, I suddenly saw two mediaeval peasants trudging along at the roadside, bearing staffs and bundles and what looked like bamboo hats on their backs. I was led back in memory to the Blue Note Café by… Continue reading At the Blue Note Café
From the Land of Serendip
I received in the post yesterday a magnificent gift, quite unexpected: Nights from the Alhambra, a boxed set recording a live performance by Loreena McKennitt. The donor had no particular reason to suppose I would be favourable to her music: in fact I’ve never before encountered anyone else who shares my taste for it. I think… Continue reading From the Land of Serendip
Attitude
I made a discovery, nothing new to much of the world, just to me. Things are out there already, but you don’t learn anything until you find it “in here” too. Sometimes people call this “resonance”. A friend had been writing a series of pieces trying to discover what was wrong with his life, and… Continue reading Attitude
The Practice of Compassion
We arrived on foot from our house in England, aided by 2 buses and a plane across the Irish Sea. Hunger and thirst took priority over shelter so we went straight to the Patriots, a fine old pub well-named and well-placed. Another day the thirst for culture took us to the IMMA and the life-changing… Continue reading The Practice of Compassion
Not for Bread Alone
What goes on within us, in the complex immediacy of Now? I suggest this string of moments is all we have: the movie of our life, played live, in which we have no choice but to act; beyond which there is Nothing, though it’s our constant illusion to think otherwise. Joyce had a fictional shot… Continue reading Not for Bread Alone
Stepping on Air
I ’ve spent a few weeks in awe and praise of Meister Eckhart. I’ve had enough of him for the time being. I’ve no intention to publish a draft-in-progress called “More on Disinterest”. Indeed, this morning I find myself arguing against him: him and his way to God, wherein he places disinterest above love: The… Continue reading Stepping on Air
Stepping aside
I had no thought of doing an audio diary, nor for that matter of producing a music video, let alone combining the two into a hybrid. Some things evolve by accident: you and I for example, if you can believe it, have evolved in exactly that way. Certainly the best things in my life have… Continue reading Stepping aside
Rebuilding from within
By day, my bedroom window is transformed into a viewing platform to watch the renascence of my Sun-dial Factory across the road. On April 29th 2013, I wrote a piece beginning: I see things as imbued with meaning, like fragments written in a foreign language. Sometimes I can decipher them; sometimes even put them in… Continue reading Rebuilding from within
Colloquy
I was moved by Ellie's recent comment: We engage in a colloquy reflecting one another’s light through the jewel of our own perception. In my last I spoke of the sound of waves breaking on the shore, and in subsequent comments the ebb and flow of tides. May this blog share the connectivity and outreach… Continue reading Colloquy
Borneo journal, January 2000
Took a boat out to the island of Manukan. Even riding in the boat was bliss, the prow banging down on the little waves as we sped along, lightly splashed with spray, hanging on to the rusty rails and the sun canopy supports whose welds were coming apart. One of those rare times when I… Continue reading Borneo journal, January 2000
preoccupied and dreamy
Dear S I am starting to form the impression that the “preoccupied and dreamy boy” contains the real you, and that what you write operates as a kind of mask through which to address the world. This “real you” has not yet evolved the capacity to interact with everything that the present moment throws at… Continue reading preoccupied and dreamy
The Lord is my shepherd
God is nameless, because no one can say anything or understand anything about him. It was for statements like this that the Dominican friar known as Meister Eckhart was nearly condemned as a heretic. He was an employee of the Catholic Church, an organization which claimed an exclusive right to say things about God; and… Continue reading The Lord is my shepherd
A Coney Island of the Mind
This is for you, dear poet of my youth, still 23 years and 21 days older than me (therefore 95), still here with the rest of us, enabling me to write this with a possibility it might reach you. I would say I’ve admired you from afar, but it’s not true, for I spent fifty… Continue reading A Coney Island of the Mind
Cover Story
Brian Spaeth’s been helping me design a front cover for Wayfaring. His style tends to be low-res—or even ultra low-res. I respect that, but I wanted a picture you could enter, so as to walk the paths it depicts, and see every detail. Up till June 2005, I could only gaze at enticing landscapes, and… Continue reading Cover Story
32 Answers
A correspondent thought that the final paragraphs of Wayfaring (a planned book) ought to have more impact. I could see how they might be viewed that way, and tried to do something about it. Perhaps by appending an Afterword? It didn’t feel right to write anything new. I thought of asking the question “What is wayfaring?”… Continue reading 32 Answers
The printing-factory
I wonder why, out of the mass of all we forget, some inconsequential things stick in our minds. Perhaps they chime with our destiny, that elusive future no one can see till it arrives. And when it does, perhaps something from our rag-bag of memories may “ring a bell”, as if it had been foreshadowed.… Continue reading The printing-factory
The Sun-Dial Factory
I’ve written several times about the factory across from our bedroom and how the morning sun progressively reaches down from the tips of its roof. When you wake and look out, it gives you an idea of what time it is, taking the season into account. On many nights and days too, I see the… Continue reading The Sun-Dial Factory
On Further Consideration
Stepping out the door into sunshine or cloud, nothing on my mind, I marvel at what it is to be human. It’s like being in a strange land with no map. Here am I, familiar to myself. Slowly I change, but not as fast as the world around me. I'm more comfortable with things as… Continue reading On Further Consideration
On Further Consideration
I wasn’t satisfied with my last: not in a state of mind to do justice to its topic. Stepping out the door into sunshine or cloud, stripped of the conceptual paraphernalia that normally clothes our consciousness, I marvel at what it is to be human. It’s like being in a strange and wonderful land with… Continue reading On Further Consideration
Gaia Warriors
Nicola Davies’ book about climate change has hardly set the world on fire. Since its publication in 2009, it has attracted two reader reviews on Amazon: one in UK, one in US. It’s a lavishly-produced paperback, large format, bold use of colours and fonts; but I don’t think it’s selling too well now. You can… Continue reading Gaia Warriors
Whereof one cannot speak . . .
“Most of the literature and history of psycho-spirituality has been couched in religious language”, says Tom, whose blog “Gwynt” is an exploration of his inner world via Pathworking. If one is going to write about one’s experience, one needs a language. I think Tom uses the term “psycho-spirituality” to distance his own language from that… Continue reading Whereof one cannot speak . . .
A Very English View
In my last I said “I hope to return to this theme in another post”. I had mentioned the Bible, in the King James Version completed in 1611. In its time and for several centuries it was Holy Writ, an authority not to be questioned by its readers, till developments in science, evolutionary theory and… Continue reading A Very English View
The Present Moment
This moment is ours, each to dwell in separately, and sometimes to share. Or so it would be, if the moment were not hijacked; of which more anon. There would seem to be nothing more obvious, more tangible and palpable than the present moment. And yet it eludes us completely. All the sadness of life… Continue reading The Present Moment
Discussion on Education
From D. H Lawrence’s Women in Love. Scene: in the garden at Breadalby, where Hermione entertains her house-guests. Her brother Alexander Roddice is a member of Parliament. There had been a split in the Cabinet; the minister for Education had resigned owing to adverse criticism. This started a conversation on education. “Of course,” said Hermione,… Continue reading Discussion on Education
Walking, Thinking, Thanking
I have the odd idea, when I’m tramping streets or country paths, or riding on a bus, that this is when I feel most truly at home. What on earth can that mean?* I’m threading my way through this housing estate on the hillside, the one I see from my study window. It has become… Continue reading Walking, Thinking, Thanking
Ellie Clayton on William Blake
In 2021, Ellie Clayton wrote a series of pithy paradoxical observations, on the lines of Blake's Proverbs of Heaven and Hell. She published them on a blog Divine Economy. I was inspired to format them into a printable document: you can download it here.
Intersecting worlds
Reality is composed of many interwoven strands and nowhere are these delineated more vividly than in The Sun Temple. What shall I call it? A treatise? A short story? A memoir? A traveller’s tale? It’s all of these and a masterpiece of erudite psychedelia as well. Above all it is searingly honest and true, never… Continue reading Intersecting worlds
To my literary agent
Dear — If I knew your name, I wouldn’t be writing like this to you, in public. But we haven’t yet met. We’re still two lonely hearts, so to speak, seeking one another. I did write to an agent last year: one whose web page says I am willing to be seduced, amazed, charmed, or moved. What… Continue reading To my literary agent
Walking on air
There was a programme on BBC Radio 4 about the writing life. At this moment, it’s only available to “listen again” for another five days, so I’d better get on and publish this. In any event, I’ve made a transcript of the important bit. It starts at 22:26 and you can hear the full audio… Continue reading Walking on air
Meeting Ghetu
We’ve never met face to face, but our first cyber-encounter was on 13th October 2006. You may think cyber-friendship is an impoverished thing, but for us literary types it has the special advantage of being completely self-documenting, like the legendary Akashic Records. That day, I stumbled on his blog “i am useless”, and I’ve reproduced… Continue reading Meeting Ghetu
The Howrah Bridge Palmist
I’ve already published five stories by Ghetufoool (that’s his pen-name) here. He’s kindly given permission for me to publish “The Palmist”, possibly his best. Five years ago I designed a cover for a projected book of his stories. He had an objection—see comments below. But never mind that, at least six of his stories will… Continue reading The Howrah Bridge Palmist
Inside Out
previously published on Blogger Where is it, this book I long thought I would write some day, when I had the time? I have had that time in the last seven years, almost limitless in its horizon, though doled out in surprisingly small quantities each day. I used some of it to write this blog,… Continue reading Inside Out
rambling in a landscape
Some use rural footpaths to walk their dogs. I prefer to go alone or accompanied by an equally faithful companion, the Muse. From a radio programme broadcast yesterday, part of a series called “Ramblings”: Robert McFarlane: Paths run through people as they run through places. I’m fascinated by the idea that we understand ourselves and… Continue reading rambling in a landscape
Park benches
I often pass this public garden, fifteen minutes’ walk from home going west along the valley. It has three benches, normally unoccupied, and I’m always tempted to sit on one, and be part of the scenery. It’s as if I have a romantic notion of park benches. There’s a nice film about shenanigans on Hampstead… Continue reading Park benches
Dreaming of Paris
I hardly know Paris.* That’s what inspires me to write about it, at book length if necessary; so that I can fill out that slight acquaintance with a body of research, and report back. The research is not to be carried out through the study of texts (other than my own notes), but through the… Continue reading Dreaming of Paris
Reader-Friendly
Seen rightly, the blog must be one of the great inventions for raising literature to a higher level. Apart from offering instant publication without middle-man intervention, it opens itself to instant feedback from readers. It can be edited ad libitum. Unlike a periodical, it has no obligation to publish at any set interval, or at all.… Continue reading Reader-Friendly
Miraculous Recovery
William Blake: Glad Day (1795) “I am compiling an inspirational book for people with ME/CFS and am looking for people who are happy to contribute their personal story of recovery . . . to give hope to many people who are still suffering . . . Deadline for receipt: 30 September 2005.” For definition of… Continue reading Miraculous Recovery
original version of diary software
retrieved from ian.mulder.clara.net Home | Access Diary software for MS Access97, Access2000 Screenshot 1: pick any date - the day you were born, today, some day in the future, whatever Screenshot 2: you can select the font, its size, the ink colour, the window background colour Screenshot 3: you can set up appointments and reminders and you… Continue reading original version of diary software
Lucid Waking
At 06:07 I see things as imbued with meaning, like fragments written in a foreign language. Sometimes I can decipher them; sometimes even put them in English. For instance, from my bedroom window I can see the Victorian factory opposite. I wake as the early sun catches its gable ends. As on a sundial, it… Continue reading Lucid Waking
Piklu and the Old Man
Regular readers may recall occasional guest posts by Ghetufool, a short-story writer who lives in Mumbai. You can see the last one here. I’ve acted as his editor over the years, making his Indian English, where necessary, sound more international; and published a few of the best on this blog. This one may be the… Continue reading Piklu and the Old Man
Perpetual Lab
This blog has existed for seven years. It’s had three different titles: “An Ongoing Experiment” for the first few months, then “As in Life”, before fixing on “A Wayfarer’s notes” around mid-2007. It’s still an ongoing experiment, still a reflection of life, and reflections on life. Blogger allows you to change the title but not… Continue reading Perpetual Lab
The realm of infinite possibility
I dreamt I was dead. There was no afterlife. This “I” became a past-tense “he”, a past-tense entity, no longer part of the scene, soon to be forgotten. The dream was about that which remained: the world continuing as before, other people still there, gladness still existing. All was well, better than before, even, because… Continue reading The realm of infinite possibility
Blessedness
Days pass quickly, like the view from a speeding train. From another angle, I stand on a bridge above the line, hear the roar and clatter of the train below, watch it round the curve and disappear into the tunnel, leaving emptiness and the memory of its presence. Externally, each day resembles the one before;… Continue reading Blessedness
a letter from Vincent
[Arles, Mid-October 1888] My dear Theo, At last I am sending you a small sketch to give you at least an idea of the form which the work is taking. For today I am all right again. My eyes are still tired, but then I had a new idea in my head and here is… Continue reading a letter from Vincent
At sixteen
Here is the text of the essay I referred to in my last, as written in 1958. I don’t suppose it is intrinsically entertaining. To lighten it I’ve embedded some group photos in which my face may be seen, and an aerial shot of the place, Swainston Manor, which became my true home for a… Continue reading At sixteen
Sleeper Class
Here’s another guest post from Ghetufool, the fourth of his stories that I’ve published on Wayfarer's The Travelling Companion 1: THANK YOU, ANGELS! Mr Sarkar’s journey hadn’t started well. After six hours, with another thirty to go, he was cursing himself for coming by train. But Mr Sarkar was the beneficiary of crack management training.… Continue reading Sleeper Class
The Story of Our Love
There was certainly something extraordinary about the way Karleen and I met, back in December 2003, on a site called AI: Africa Introductions. we each wrote a little about ourselves: no details, no photos. From there on, we communicated online by text only, thru Instant Messenger. Despite 6 hours difference in our time zones, despite… Continue reading The Story of Our Love
On Happiness
I always enjoy Arash’s essays.* They help bring the chaos of my own branching thoughts into a momentary focus; or in some cases provide a topic to brood on for days. His latest is on Happiness, a word I don’t spontaneously use, only in reference to other people’s usage. I feel that it needs to be… Continue reading On Happiness
An old book revisited
Rediscovered today I bought this book in Paris fifty years ago. It became a kind of Bible to me, to read and re-read till I grasped its difficult meaning. Years later. in a fit of extreme decluttering I gave it away along with all my other worldly goods; whereby hangs a tale, somewhat related to… Continue reading An old book revisited
A comatose fridge, and whatever’s meant to be
The fridge has been in a coma for three weeks. We’ve discovered there’s no hope of a cure. The freezer works normally, but the mechanism which controls the refrigerator compartment has failed. There’s only one moving part: the little door which lets cold air flow to the refrigeration compartment when the thermistor tells it to.… Continue reading A comatose fridge, and whatever’s meant to be
Presence: the numinous in everyday life
Numen n. the spirit or divine power presiding over a thing or place. Numinous, adj. having a strong religious or spiritual quality, indicating or suggesting the presence of a divinity. (Oxford Dictionary of English, 2010) I suggested in my last that one might find a starting point for the meaning of “God” in the everyday… Continue reading Presence: the numinous in everyday life
The Evolution of God
Limited by space, a frog in the well has no idea what is the ocean. Limited by time, an insect in summer has no idea what is ice. Limited by intellect, a man in life has no idea what is Consciousness. — Chuang Tzu (369 BC-286 BC), tr Herbert A. Giles In my reading, I’m… Continue reading The Evolution of God
The View from Nowhere
A year ago, Bryan White and I collaborated on an ambitious book project. I can’t quite recall the start point, though I think it originated in a conversation conducted in the comment columns of this site. Not surprisingly in hindsight, it soon foundered, but its remnants are a matter of public record as a blog… Continue reading The View from Nowhere
From Handwriting to Eternity
As an art form, the blog has extraordinary possibilities. It’s a “magic theatre: entrance not for everybody”. Anybody may come and peek, but those for whom it’s not intended will swiftly move on. This theatre’s producer—I mean the blog author—may put on a new show every day, or hardly ever. In the public imagination the… Continue reading From Handwriting to Eternity
God and the laws of Physics
From Marc Almond, blogger at Have me Pompeii Your Town While sitting in 'da couch, listening to the blaze. I was thinking: We don't need to prove that God exists, just that such a being could exist, as in the laws of physics allow that the traits we think of as God are possible. That… Continue reading God and the laws of Physics
The Gentle Art of Wayfaring
This site has been called A Wayfarer's notes for a good while; Before that, it was ian.mulder.clara.net, and didn't have a name, though "The Wayward Isles" was an invention, implying travel between ideas. Another post, Pedestrian Ideas, has more to say. But this post expresses why wandering about among local roads and footpaths has been… Continue reading The Gentle Art of Wayfaring
In memoriam for a lost friend
Earlier this month I published a piece entitled In Memoriam: ..., followed by the name of my late friend from fifty years ago. Part of my intention was to bring him back to life in my own mind, and if possible my reader’s too. But what most inspired the effort was the wish expressed in… Continue reading In memoriam for a lost friend
Elemental
I scribble ideas aimlessly, nothing wrong with that. But then I fall under the spell of supposing this will generate “creative writing”, whatever that may be; something from which value can be directly harvested. It’s better to think of it as rotten fruit, to be cast out and forgotten. Some time later we may discover… Continue reading Elemental
Acknowledgements
Masochistically, I’d planned to spend much time and ink writing a structured essay on literacy; covering texting, graffiti, tweeting, Facebook, Wikipedia, hyperlinking, spellcheck, online thesaurus, apostrophe confusion, grammatical mangling, metaphor insensitivity, the history of books from Gilgamesh to Kindle, the National Novel-Writing Month, the demise of the typewriter, my mania for fountain pens, registrar’s ink,… Continue reading Acknowledgements
The Soloist: Art is More than Life
retrieved from my original blog via the Internet Archive A Los Angeles journalist befriends a homeless Juilliard-trained musician, while looking for a new article for the paper. Director: Joe Wright. Writers: Susannah Grant (screenplay), Steve Lopez (book). Stars: Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr. and Catherine Keener.(1) The film is the The Soloist and I’d never heard… Continue reading The Soloist: Art is More than Life
The magic fence
It’s been raining every day for weeks. Catching a cold gave me an additional reason to stay indoors, but the other morning, in the bright lull after a heavy downpour, I ventured out for a couple of errands, taking the usual shortcut to the shops on Ledborough Road, through the derelict school yard and the… Continue reading The magic fence
Everything Desires
Said CIngram, in a discussion of his recent post, Misunderstanding Evolution: I would be interested to hear your diatribe on teleology, if you still have the urge to produce one. Did I still have the urge? I wasn’t sure. I eventually responded: Yes, I feel that whatever dire accusations are fired by either side in… Continue reading Everything Desires
Everything Knows
by Ghetufool “The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the Eyes of others only a Green thing that stands in the way. Some see Nature all Ridicule and Deformity...”—Blake I’ve published two of Ghetu’s stories before: Free as a Bird and Ticket to Paradise. Here is his latest. Like the others,… Continue reading Everything Knows
Letters to the Universe
I was inspired by a recent essay on Rebbecca Hill’s blog, entitled “Here is where I am”. I’ll give you the link later. What struck me specially was her saying so many personal things that applied to my own case—the situation she describes, the questions she asks. I recently asked myself those questions too, and… Continue reading Letters to the Universe
Amsterdam
I have a special relationship to Holland because Mulder is my surname and I spent four months near Arnhem in 1947 staying with my supposed father's sister, Auntie Non. I've described that sojourn here In 2012 we took a break to Holland to celebrate our anniversary and her birthday. The other day I looked for… Continue reading Amsterdam
Whithersoever
I went on a small journey in preparation for a bigger one. On Monday I fly out to Amsterdam, so this little trip to Loudwater was to change some pounds to euros at a bureau de change. I set off in walking boots, they’re best for my swollen toe-joint. I might have gone on foot… Continue reading Whithersoever
Bach and Blackbird
I was driving to the supermarket in the rain. The CD player had come on, and was at no. 14 of Bach’s Goldberg Variations, by the pianist Glenn Gould. It was the 1981 re-recording as opposed to his debut album in 1955 playing the same 31 pieces. This later version stands out for the dramatic… Continue reading Bach and Blackbird
Film Noir
One of the most stylish and effective films I’ve recently seen is The Man Who Wasn’t There, starring Billy Bob Thornton. Set in 1949, it tells the story of Ed Crane, a small-town barber, who faces life with an eerie impassivity, whilst not enjoying his job, becoming a cuckold... He cuts the hair of a… Continue reading Film Noir
Binding a joy
He who binds to himself a joy Doth the wingèd life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity’s sunrise. This verse of William Blake is never far from me, internalised, imprinted upon my unconscious, and a work in progress. There is joy in being alive; breathing fresh air; having… Continue reading Binding a joy
The Book of Disquiet
Art consists in making others feel what we feel, in freeing them from themselves by offering them our own personality. From The Book of Disquiet, by Fernando Pessoa, translated from the Portuguese by Richard Zenith; numbered section 260 Art frees us, illusorily, from the squalor of being. from section 270 There are certain books which… Continue reading The Book of Disquiet
Invitation to a Close Encounter
I was invited to an evangelical-charismatic church service lasting a couple of hours. The invitation arrived by email: “On Sunday, if you would like to come with us to our church (it is an experience not to be missed!) we would love it ...” The church hasn't found a building of its own: that’s another… Continue reading Invitation to a Close Encounter
Night navigation
It was an eventful day, not without its petty annoyances, but our house-guests were happy, that’s the main thing, and enjoyed a merry evening. I was exhausted and as soon as politely possible retired upstairs. My dreams were scantily populated, and their spaces were wide. I was in a tall office building, looking for the… Continue reading Night navigation
Home, James!
All right, I willingly confess to being a technophobe, somewhere between moderate and severe, though I don’t know how they grade these things. I have no shame in the matter: what’s to hide, if they haven’t made it illegal? Not yet, so far as I know. But they marginalise it by stealth, and you cannot… Continue reading Home, James!
Why has Bodhi-Dharma left for the East?
It’s increasingly difficult to write anything, I mean write coherently. It’s probably not the first sign of dementia, more likely that “When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.” (John Muir) That’s my new excuse for rambling hither and thither. I wanted to write… Continue reading Why has Bodhi-Dharma left for the East?
Evolution
It’s been a long time since I just wrote a post straight off, but when you have guests sometimes you have little time to yourself. I’m wondering if I am like other people. They often seem to plan their lives, both long-term and for a day at a time. I’m not the planning type. The… Continue reading Evolution
Spring be my Muse
Things are happening in hedgerow and pasture; a spate of fresh worm-casts; larks twittering; occasional sardonic comments by crows. A suddenly-surprised pheasant flaps away from me, going airborne in its panic, plumage bejewelled and voice like a rusty klaxon. Last year’s sunflower-heads, haggard and desiccated, stand witness to the kindness of supplying winter provender for… Continue reading Spring be my Muse
With a pinch of salt
I believe things because it pleases me to do so. I don’t require my belief to be anchored in verifiable truth. I’d sooner find allies, others who believe as I do. Doesn’t everyone behave like this, at the same time as denying it? Surely I am Everyman. Already in a few words I have placed… Continue reading With a pinch of salt
My Dream Project
My last three posts must have acted on my subconscious like postcards from 1976, inscribed on the back "Wish you were here?", for I dreamed of that time last night. I wouldn't have the audacity to recount it without the pathfinding example of Bryan M. White’s Encyclopedia of Counted Sheep, which offers vivid proof that… Continue reading My Dream Project
Amazing Predictions
Here's another post rescued from the revisionistic cleansing of two years ago. See also this previous post and also my own essay for the same competition hosted by Computer Weekly. The one below, which won second prize, at first sounded as chilling to my mind as it did when I first read it in 1977.… Continue reading Amazing Predictions
1976: the prizewinning Lawless prophecy
This post got discarded in a revisionistic mania a while ago. I vandalized my own writings on the basis that they needed to be made relevant and up-to-date. Sometimes amended for striking a pose unpleasing to my later self. So abhorrent is this notion now that I'm prioritising this work of restoring them to their… Continue reading 1976: the prizewinning Lawless prophecy
Prophetic words from 1976
In 1976 when I wrote the essay below for a competition, it was already possible to link computers by telephone line, but an international structure, eventually called the Internet, wasn’t established till 6 years later. Its use was limited to academics and technical types keeping in touch, till Tim Berners-Lee invented the World-Wide Web, nine… Continue reading Prophetic words from 1976
Sunday morning, late February
The morning is sunny and warm in the backyard. A noisy bee rejoices among the crocuses. Their purple petals open wide, greedy for the sun’s rays, exposing brilliant orange pollen and their kinship with crocus sativa, source of the dye saffron. More shyly than the extrovert bee, a delicate fly hovers silently just above the… Continue reading Sunday morning, late February
From Journal to Book?
I still haven’t given up on “the book of the blog”. When I do, this place can become “the blog of the book”, but don’t worry, it will be the same blog, going off in the same haphazard directions. In December last, I dashed off a Preface followed by a Preface Mark II, both of… Continue reading From Journal to Book?
Hitching to Heaven
There are things in my past I prefer not to revisit, as mentioned in comments on the previous post. ‘Cult’ comes from the Latin cultus, worship. In certain contexts it refers to “a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister”. I was involved with a cult… Continue reading Hitching to Heaven
Mister God, this is Anna
Reading Nietzsche is like having a guide show you round your home town—perhaps your own street. He takes you to a familiar blank wall, and shows you cracks in the smooth surface. “So what?” you think and then he takes your hand and you go through each crack to an unfamiliar vista on the other… Continue reading Mister God, this is Anna
The Book as a sacred space
Today is the 70th anniversary of Desert Island Discs, a BBC radio programme in which celebrities are interviewed about their life, interspersed with their personal selection of eight gramophone records. At the end, they are invited to choose one book and one luxury to take along to the desert island on which they are to… Continue reading The Book as a sacred space
Sacred places
Books I’ve recently read convey snatches of the lore whereby sacred places may be recognized and visited. I find myself wanting to quote from them. But I must refer only to what I know, sketchy or part-submerged in the subconscious as that may be. David Abram for example speaks of certain peoples, on the fringes… Continue reading Sacred places
Scintillating Scotoma
In one sense it’s crazy to challenge and defy Plato, the Old Testament prophets, Jesus, scientists, one’s own doctor, and especially friends. Who am I to do this? A nobody. Which is a great strength. A somebody has something to defend. At the bottom of the heap, you are free. You have only yourself to… Continue reading Scintillating Scotoma
One Minute, Please
Every day I desire to publish some nice little piece here, but unless it’s dictated by the inner voice, over which I have no control, it’s not worth the effort. This voice is silent sometimes for weeks on end—or more likely I haven’t learnt how to listen—and then it may utter a single phrase, as… Continue reading One Minute, Please
In memory of George Whitman, 1913-2011
I once spent a few weeks as George Whitman’s guest in his bookshop opposite Notre Dame in Paris. Today I heard of his death on the news. I’ve mentioned him three times on this blog: in May 2008, May 2009 and Feb 2011*. It has always been difficult to write about the man himself, for… Continue reading In memory of George Whitman, 1913-2011
Straw Dogs
In his book John Gray is a demolisher, razing to the ground almost every idea which offers hope, whether it comes from science, religion, humanism or any other -ism. It’s not a long book. You can get through it in a couple of days: easily but not comfortably, unless you’ve already sacrificed all the sacred… Continue reading Straw Dogs
What is the greatest invention of all time?
Not previously published on Wayfarer's . Please note that the links in this post are to the Internet Archive which is currently very slow. It has recently closed down to guard against cyberattack and may be again. Click the link above for source (BBC Radio 4 "Today", 12/12/11 @ 8:20) See also this link for more… Continue reading What is the greatest invention of all time?
In One’s Strength
HEALTH WARNING As Bryan has mentioned—see his comment below—this post and its predecessor may be so incoherent and lacking in worthwhile point as to cause nosebleed and/or blackouts in sensitive readers. But let it stand, as readers have taken the trouble to comment. (Continued from previous post) Extract from first day’s transcript, typed up 25th… Continue reading In One’s Strength
The interconnectedness of all things*
* as in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, by Douglas Adams I’m glad I went to the doctor about my backache. I feel much better now. I learned a great truth which I can’t wait to share with you. It wasn’t the doctor who revealed it, quite the reverse. But he was the catalyst—the midwife!—to… Continue reading The interconnectedness of all things*
The Garden of Remembrance
I walked this morning through Old Amersham, attracted by the flag of St George on the church tower. I felt strong in myself. The beauty of this chilly, sunny morning uplifted me. I was not possessed by the necessities of life, not driven by problems and desires. The present moment was sunlight kissing old stones, well-pruned… Continue reading The Garden of Remembrance
Becoming Animal
I had thought of writing a review of David Abram’s book, Becoming Animal, but the breadth of its vision, the variety of its original ideas, the density of its poetical descriptions would take a long time to digest, before I could say anything of value. It would have been easier if I didn’t admire it… Continue reading Becoming Animal
Infinite are the depths
Some days are special gifts but it takes something else, some extra gift to be able to share them. When I say days, I mean moments within days. And when I say special, I refer to some magic visible only to the inner eye. A day is a torrent of moments which pass us by,… Continue reading Infinite are the depths
Gilgamesh, a book for our time
The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest written tale, going back 4000 years. (See timeline at foot of this article.) It has survived by virtue of being impressed on clay tablets buried in the desert in “cuneiform”, the oldest known form of writing, which dates back 5000 years. Only with the work of generations… Continue reading Gilgamesh, a book for our time
An exercise in Unknowing
But it is looking like something new in philosophy, and we hope entertaining too, as well as deep. When I say deep, I mean that the reader will be inspired to go deep, without the intellectual exercise being at all painful. The aim (that is, my aim—Bryan can do what he likes) is to understand… Continue reading An exercise in Unknowing
Capturing the Moment
I was going to write about Wales. And then I was going to write about child looters rampaging the evening streets of English cities. I probably won’t finish either of these essays though they exist in partial drafts. So here instead are a few photos of a recent camping trip. You can click on them… Continue reading Capturing the Moment
When memory strikes
Why do people remember where they were when they heard of the death of President Kennedy? I have a mental snapshot of my precise surroundings when I heard of the deaths of King George VI, Marilyn Monroe, John Kennedy, John Lennon and Princess Diana. As to when Martin Luther King and Elvis Presley died, I… Continue reading When memory strikes
Life-illusion
My last ended with these words: We make ourselves blind to the fact that our lives are not actually ruled by reason. They are ruled by pursuing whatever makes us feel all right. We then apply reason to tell ourselves that what makes us feel all right is “the truth”. This thought needs full explanation.… Continue reading Life-illusion
Mission
The photos alongside were taken on a walk in Flackwell Heath I confess to a constant need: to have a sense of mission. I don’t suppose this makes me any different from any other man—I specifically mean man as opposed to woman, child or any other specimen from the imaginative catalogue of God’s creatures. I… Continue reading Mission
Fight Club: the Movie & Book
originally part of this post. I might feel different from everyone else in some ways, but in other men I do recognise myself, at any rate in literature and film: for example in Fight Club. Have you seen it? Edward Norton’s character, the nameless narrator, was me. Through his eyes I too was fascinated by Brad Pitt’s… Continue reading Fight Club: the Movie & Book
Museums and Women
Lately I seem to be getting more from literature than from life. A misleading observation, since reading is an act performed like any other, in life, as opposed to a dream. Again, this is misleading. Leisure reading fires the imagination as dreams do. By "life" we sometimes mean living, in the sense of an interactive… Continue reading Museums and Women
Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone 4
I've always been irritated by the stilted translation of Camus' famous book by Justin O'Brien, and offered my own to the publisher, Penguin Books.They informed me that this translation was copyrighted as the only translation, so my efforts were a dead duck. I'd read French and Italian literature for my degree at the University of… Continue reading Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone 4
Homer’s Odyssey
It matters a lot which translation of a book you read. I confess to being super-fussy about these things. I hear a piano concerto or symphony, for example, and compare it unfavourably with one which impinged on my consciousness years ago, perhaps in my teens. (You’ll have to trust me on this. It’s the impinging,… Continue reading Homer’s Odyssey
Affinity
Why do I write, if I can’t write any better? But what would become of me if I didn’t write what I can, however inferior it may be to what I am? In my ambitions, I am a plebeian, because I try to achieve; like someone in a dark room, I’m afraid to be silent.… Continue reading Affinity
Dreaming spires
Oxford is everything that my own town is not, and it’s only 30 miles away. I decided Park and Ride was the best way to enter in triumph, using my new electronic bus pass, on a superb day in June, discovering that the students are in exams and the streets are a motley of tourists.… Continue reading Dreaming spires
Blessed by the sun
I step out of the house for the daily ritual of meeting Karleen from work. My route involves shortcuts through alleys. A perfect ritual has no practical purpose, no sense of obligation. It’s done for joy alone. Its sacredness within the rhythm of daily life increases on every repetition. Its tendency to sameness draws attention… Continue reading Blessed by the sun
Head and Body
Excised from accompaniment When I practised as a therapist I would sometimes get frustrated at my patients’ use of the pronoun “I”. Despite being taught that the sense of self is composed of “head” and “body”, they couldn’t stop speaking from a head-mind which functioned in proud isolation, peopled with its own constructs. They often… Continue reading Head and Body
In the thistle-field, at dawn
I lie in bed watching dawn’s rosy fingers light up the house opposite, creeping lower as the hour advances. This street is narrow, its houses joined together (‘terraced’) in a continuous chain on both sides. You’d think there’d be scant room for the low-slanting rays to penetrate. But our house is near the street’s eastern… Continue reading In the thistle-field, at dawn
In the thistle field, at dawn
I lie in bed watching dawn’s rosy fingers light up the house opposite, creeping lower as the hour advances. This street is narrow, its houses joined together (‘terraced’) in a continuous chain on both sides. You’d think there’d be scant room for the low-slanting rays to penetrate. But our house is near the street’s eastern… Continue reading In the thistle field, at dawn
By Bus and Canal
When I take a bus ride, I journey to the past. Subconsciously, this is my intended destination, for I could have taken the car instead, and “saved time”. I have no reason to save time any more. Now is my invitation to spend it freely; to use if I wish to sift my past, like… Continue reading By Bus and Canal
Lisbon
To mark a double celebration, we took a few days off in Lisbon, a city of beauty and charm which I’ll try and convey in snapshots rather than words. Click on any picture to enlarge it. Our hotel was not far from the great Praça do Marquês Pombal, above. I didn’t discover who the Marquess… Continue reading Lisbon
Perspectives and Remembrance
The emblem of this blog is a weathervane with a gilded Centaur, standing above a cupola on top of the 18th century Guildhall, in the market square of High Wycombe, built where two main valleys cross. There are smaller valleys too. Wherever thou goest, thou canst lift up thine eyes unto the hills, like the… Continue reading Perspectives and Remembrance
Possessed by a god
Suppose I took it on myself to explain what a blog is, to someone who’d never encountered the idea. How would I go about it? Is there a common root to which all blogs are connected? I’m not thinking so much of topics, which are clearly as diverse as the authors themselves. But I wonder… Continue reading Possessed by a god
Your diary
By way of distraction from the mind-blowing world of Friedrich Nietzsche, I’ve been adding new functions to the diary mentioned in an earlier post. We live in a world where new technology must sometimes struggle to compete with the tried-and-tested. I’m very fond of fountain-pens. It is easy to be sentimentally attached to the flow… Continue reading Your diary
Bin Laden Dies
Ghetu asked me what I thought, as a ‘common Britisher’, of Bin Laden’s recent death. I responded as follows: I’m more of an uncommon Britisher, but I’m pretty sure there are others who think like me. America deliberately chose its fight with Islam after the end of Soviet communism. America it seems has to have… Continue reading Bin Laden Dies
Groping Blindly
I’ve been in a ferment, witness to a cascade of interconnectedness, from which it is surely possible to construct an overarching meaning—but I won’t try, and that is an instance of laziness (or what-you-may-call-it) which was a theme in my last: something which seems to me like a great creative principle. In Nature, or perhaps… Continue reading Groping Blindly
Not trying too hard
I left the car at The Fox and Hounds in Christmas Common, and made my way down Hollandridge Lane, which has never been more than a cart-track, but offers glorious vistas on a perfect spring day. Not a farmhouse in sight, not a fellow-wayfarer or dog-walker, not even a sheep till I reached Pishill, and… Continue reading Not trying too hard
The Search for Meaning
I had a gift token to spend at the only bookshop in town, didn’t see anything I wanted. But then I was drawn to a certain book. I looked at it the first time rather idly, and thought to myself, “No, this is written by a Viennese psychiatrist. I have had enough of them.” I… Continue reading The Search for Meaning
Keeper of Souls
The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: yea, it is even he that shall keep thy soul. I saw this on a tombstone at Hambleden, a tiny village that doesn’t seem to have changed since the Middle Ages. For all I know it may be still enmeshed in the feudal system, though its origins… Continue reading Keeper of Souls
Southward
I live in a valley, in one of the Victorian workers’ cottages that fill up the space between the small factories in which they worked. It’s a fold in the Chiltern Hills and unless you follow one of the rivers, upstream or down, you have to go up a hill to get anywhere. So at… Continue reading Southward
Unfettered
When you have a computer with Web access, you can find photos of almost anything, taken by better photographers with better cameras than you and yours. But it doesn’t stop us from indulging in the global festival of digital photography, that celebrates “I woz here!”—though mainly in the sunshine. In my outdoor shots, it’s usually… Continue reading Unfettered
Books
I haven’t been writing because I’ve been reading so much. One book leads to another and the Kindle Reader has a lot to answer for. Snuggled in bed late at night, cradling the thing in its handsome leather case and its own light just bright enough to illuminate the page of black and white e-inks,… Continue reading Books
Wittgenstein
Restored to its original form after some unwise revisionism in 2021 The other day I was writing about being nineteen and somehow feeling the same way fifty years later. But it was a mysterious feeling because I could not adduce a single instance of nineteenhood to illustrate my point. So it is a coincidence that… Continue reading Wittgenstein
Discovering Wittgenstein
The other day I was writing about being nineteen and somehow feeling the same way fifty years later. But it was a mysterious feeling because I could not adduce a single instance of nineteenhood to illustrate my point. So it is a coincidence that I first discovered Wittgenstein at that age. Discovered is hardly the… Continue reading Discovering Wittgenstein
Annie Dillard
“In blogging, less is more. Discuss.” That could have been an essay topic in the days of my youth, had blogging then been a word. An old friend who used to post as Rob. and later Bob, did it for the interaction rather than the self-expression or self-revelation, in which genres he was reticent. His… Continue reading Annie Dillard
Reason to Celebrate
Today I celebrate a milestone. It is exactly fifty years since I reached the age of 19, a special number for many reasons, and the last year of one’s teens. This morning I was given a mug bearing the words, “Today is all about YOU ... and there couldn’t be a better reason to celebrate!”… Continue reading Reason to Celebrate
Encounters on the Phoenix Trail
It was the most spring-like day this year and the urge to be out in it without delay overcame lengthy consideration of where to go. I considered the Phoenix trail to be unfinished business (see post before last) because I hadn’t walked its full length. Still haven’t, as a matter of fact. But there are… Continue reading Encounters on the Phoenix Trail
Pilgrimage
I’m on this path. I don’t know how far I’ve been, I don’t know where I am on the map. I hear planes criss-crossing distantly above the fog. I’m on the crest of a slope, looking out on rows of stubble, which bristle in parallel stripes over the curved surface of the fields. The landscape… Continue reading Pilgrimage
Seven stylish things
Bryan M. White, that onlie begetter of Nuclear Headache, has burdened me with an award nomination as a Stylish Blogger. Never fear: if you are already in my blog-list below, and have taken the trouble to read this far, you’re ipso facto stylish enough. There is, as always, a catch. You can’t win the lottery… Continue reading Seven stylish things
A moment
One thing that language can do, and I think it only possible in written language, is to unwrap the content of a moment of consciousness, to examine and share it. Perhaps such moments are rare, and the stuff of poetry. Such a one occurred today as I crossed a car park to enter the supermarket.… Continue reading A moment
Preface Mark III
Not previously published on Wayfarer's Notes I still haven’t given up on “the book of the blog”. When I do, this place can become “the blog of the book”, but don’t worry, it will be the same blog, going off in the same haphazard directions. In December last, I dashed off a Preface followed by… Continue reading Preface Mark III
The yet-to-be-invented eWriter
The 1980 Microwriter. Source: Wikipedia There is more to inventing something than having the idea. I had the idea of the eWriter in 1978 but never did anything about it. Never mind my inability to build a prototype. I lacked the skills even to write about it coherently. Let’s see if I have improved at… Continue reading The yet-to-be-invented eWriter
The Phoenix Trail
The trail largely follows the route of a disused railway line, the Wycombe Railway, which connected Princes Risborough and Thame with the city of Oxford. The line through Thame remained open until 1991 to serve an oil depot based in the town. (Wikipedia) It's open to pedestrians, horses, dogs and pedal cyclists. This is from a site… Continue reading The Phoenix Trail
Our Kindle Readers
Comment in October 2024: this was written in 2011, after a friend had persuaded Karleen to invest in the latest Kindle, now extinct and called the "Paperwhite" on account of its screen technology. See this contemporary review. I bought one for myself. These days we are content with an up-to-date model, for reading aloud in… Continue reading Our Kindle Readers
The Walk to Marlow
I’ve never taken this trail before, this walk to Marlow on the first day of February, on a cloudless frosty day. How often it happens, on my wayfaring, that something triggers a memory, perhaps of a single second in my life, usually in childhood, for it was then that I most frequently encountered something for… Continue reading The Walk to Marlow
Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (3)
My objective in producing a new translation of this philosophical essay has been to write as Albert Camus might have done, if English were his native language and he had used it as the medium for dashing off his fevered ideas. This translation work has come to a halt, perhaps permanently. But if I do… Continue reading Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (3)
Man Creates God
This post was lately called "God begins with a Word". It'is now restored to its original title, above. I was brought up to treat God with respect, regardless of what I might think personally. In England there was and possibly still is a law against blasphemy, which demonstrates a legal as well as moral imperative… Continue reading Man Creates God
The worm in the apple
I’ve finally answered the God-question. Whether I’ve solved it for the world, or just for myself, is for the world to decide. When a discovery is made, it’s important to know how and in what circumstances; for they are not plucked from some realm where all the answers sit waiting to be claimed, in some… Continue reading The worm in the apple
The Old Testament
I last read The First Book of Samuel fifty-eight years ago, long enough not to by blinded by the reflective glare of familiarity. It starts off with a simple tale which arouses interest and sympathy. A man has two wives. One has borne children, but the other is barren. Her name is Hannah and he… Continue reading The Old Testament
The boy Samuel
One doesn’t just read the Bible. One does so within a context. It’s very plain to me that I would not be undertaking it now, except as a process of retracing my steps: to revisit the ten-year-old Vincent and see through his eyes. It helps me see what I am now, and also how the… Continue reading The boy Samuel
On reading the Bible
When I read, I like to make an orgy of it, especially on a rainy winter’s day, curled up in my armchair in front of the glowing embers of a log fire. One book is not enough, I want to be surrounded by them, drawn into their world where time and space are condensed into… Continue reading On reading the Bible
On Christmas Eve
The Christmas spirit is a special thing. What is this “Peace on earth, goodwill to all men”? It’s tangible, that’s certain. I always feel that I receive it from others, never that I impart it to them. Or if I do emanate any of the glow, I feel it has been ignited first from a… Continue reading On Christmas Eve
Happiness machine
Matt Lowe of the blog “Liberal Jesus” wrote a post pointing to an article in the New York Times. Matt admitted “I can’t figure out quite what I think about it. I need a little goading I think.” I hastily appended my own working definition of happiness: that it's when one can say "I don't… Continue reading Happiness machine
The soul just feels
The soul is feminine, I mean passive. It initiates nothing, does nothing but feel. It seems helpless to assert itself against will and intellect; like a slug on the sidewalk after rain, defenceless against accidental or deliberate squashing by human feet; or like a majestic brooding silence, the silence of a wilderness, defeated by the… Continue reading The soul just feels
Will and Intellect
Intended as preface to a book I was planning in December, 2010 The soul is feminine, I mean passive. It does nothing but feel. Will and intellect are the masculine elements, delighting in action and creativity for their own sakes. In young men is a naturally warlike instinct: to fight, regardless of the cause espoused,… Continue reading Will and Intellect
Then and Now
My life is full of half-formed ideas and mothballed projects. Far from being a self-pitying lament, this is a grateful realization. For in discovering who I am, by means of observation rather than vain wish, I can devote myself to it wholeheartedly, to the general benefit. Sometimes I’m a conscious exile from the Forties and… Continue reading Then and Now
Lambs and us
All you need to be a philosopher is to ask “Why?” By this standard, most three-year-olds are philosophers. When he hears the obvious answer, a philosopher thinks, “I’m not satisfied with this. There must be more to it!” The three-year-old responds to every answer with a further “Why?” until the adult tires of the game.… Continue reading Lambs and us
Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (2)
Le Mythe de Sisyphe: essai sur l’absurde Albert Camus © 1942 Éditions Gallimard Translation © 2010 Ian Vincent Mulder Continued from extract (1): So what is this mysterious feeling which deprives us of vital sleep? A world explicable with reasons, even if they are bad reasons, remains a familiar world. But take away the illusions,… Continue reading Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (2)
Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (1)
Le Mythe de Sisyphe: essai sur l’absurde Albert Camus © 1942 Éditions Gallimard Translation © 2010 Ian Vincent Mulder I've decided to publish extracts of my new translation, which remains unfinished, on this blog, starting below: This book is about a certain sensitivity, which I call “the absurd”. You will find traces of it scattered… Continue reading Sisyphus and the Rolling Stone (1)
How I came to inhabit this body
Most days, I walk down the Desborough Road, to observe in passing the extraordinary variety of human life-forms on display. Suddenly the “brotherhood of all mankind” comes into my head. As usual, I’m glad to be me, thankful indeed. But then I reflect that my birth was no more of my choosing than theirs was… Continue reading How I came to inhabit this body
Creation Myth
In the beginning was the void. How big was it? How long did it last? It’s impossible to say because time and space had not yet been created. Let’s imagine it as an empty matchbox. The Prime Mover, impatient for things to start, opened the box and the void escaped like a genie from a… Continue reading Creation Myth
The Denial of Death
According to Ernest Becker, the wellspring of human action is the fear of death: correction, the denial of the fear of death. In his Preface, he actually says that the “prospect of death . . . is the mainspring of human activity” (my italics). He makes short work of the real fear of real death,… Continue reading The Denial of Death
The Joker Chuang-Tzu
Raymond Sigrist, by doing nothing and making no recommendation, finally got me to start reading Chuang Tzu. When I write about books, I adopt the same strategy as an unscrupulous professional reviewer: read a few pages, then rush headlong to the typewriter. Not that I can’t be bothered to read it through, but there’s nothing… Continue reading The Joker Chuang-Tzu
Hell! said the Duchess
Hayden commented on my last with some excellent remarks on how to start a story, including the following: I love broadness and specificity in a beginning. A sense of mystery that isn't addressed by the ample facts stated. The facts situate the event in a time and space, anchor it if you will. The mystery,… Continue reading Hell! said the Duchess
Pygmalion & Galatea
Said Lehane, commenting on my last: “Would it also be sad to say that, through you, I’m kind of infatuated by this girl? Maybe on the way to falling in love with her.” Therein lies a phenomenon not unknown in the world of fiction. If a reader may fall in love with a character… Continue reading Pygmalion & Galatea
The secret life of strangers
How is it possible to remember a moment when nothing actually happened? I don’t know, but such moments are the ones I remember most vividly. There were some major works being done on the railway line which affected the bridge above, in the middle of the village’s main street. In consequence, traffic on the bridge… Continue reading The secret life of strangers
God is silent: angels are here
It's clear to me that there is no almighty God. My prayers and faith are directed towards freelance angels. I don’t know what they are “really”, only that they are real. Each one of us is vulnerable, so long as we are somewhere between birth and death. Being alive entails having everything to lose, bit… Continue reading God is silent: angels are here
Improvisation
Said Hayden, in a comment on my last: “I continue to think about your comments, Vincent, on your “magical” experience and the whisper in your ear. I'd love to hear more about it directly. Not the abstract philosophy that flows from it, but what you remember of the experience itself.” I didn’t know which experience… Continue reading Improvisation
The Chilterns
This is specially for Ashok, for comparison of the Chilterns with his real hills at Nainital. Here, the height above sea-level is never more than 200 metres. These vistas are all within walking distance of my house, which is near the middle of town, in the factory district. St Lawrence’s Church & Dashwood Mausoleum, photographed… Continue reading The Chilterns
Death will win
This sky is my paper, asking me to write on its clear blue surface, perhaps in sepia ink with my new fountain-pen. But it doesn’t tell me what to write. I don’t care, for my pleasure is in the writing more than the content. Gazing at the blue sky, I welcome the little clouds. Uninterrupted… Continue reading Death will win
Angst and Angels
Abstract ideas are all very well but unless you can feel them in your body or soul, you have no way of knowing if they are real. They might be the bastard children of human intellect mating with heaven-knows-what. So when Raymond proposed that existential angst is a universal experience, it left me unmoved. I… Continue reading Angst and Angels
The Grand Scheme of Things
I’m on a section of the “Round Aylesbury Walk”. If you go clockwise, the town is on your right and level countryside is on your left. I talk to myself as I go, into a digital recorder. 'Suppose everything is just as it should be, already? Suppose everything goes on being just right, no matter… Continue reading The Grand Scheme of Things
Don’t be abashed
I’ve agreed to help publicize DBA Lehane’s competition, which is to help publicize his website. I don’t normally do much to publicize anything. Perhaps I just want to show you my own entry. I’ve never written a short story before, never mind a short short one. It is exactly 500 words and the title had to… Continue reading Don’t be abashed
Panspermia
Ashok in a blog post called Heaven, Scientifically Speaking refers to a theory called Panspermia. He thought I would be interested, or in his words, “excited”. I was in fact curious to ask myself why I am not excited. First his title. To me, Heaven, which featured in my recent post The Grand Scheme of… Continue reading Panspermia
Not understanding much
A BBC magazine programme about science, Material World on Radio 4, reports an ongoing study into the possible homing instincts of snails. I was interested, as a regular reader of this blog would not be surprised to learn. They are marking the snail shells with white correction fluid for identification; moving the snails somewhere else;… Continue reading Not understanding much
Bird-talk
I’ve been interested in the conversations of birds since a day in March 1971, in the churchyard of Hinderwell, a village in North Yorkshire. I had chewed a small square of wallpaper, which had been soaked in LSD. I learned the language of the rooks, almost. But that is a story for another day. This… Continue reading Bird-talk
Let them be
I’ve been interested in the conversations of birds since a day in March 1971, in the churchyard of Hinderwell, a village in North Yorkshire. I had chewed a small square of wallpaper, which had been soaked in LSD. I learned the language of the rooks, almost. But that is a story for another day. This… Continue reading Let them be
Graffiti
Further to my last, Rebb and Ashok doubtless speak for a majority in their negative attitude towards urban graffiti. I’ve evolved a different view, as expressed in several posts—see excerpts below. The illustrations are taken from this post on 27th April ’07. But where do the people walk? Yesterday in the drizzle I stepped carefully… Continue reading Graffiti
Alley creatures
At the weekend, Karleen and I went walking on a hillside meadow, full of wildflowers, that you can see across the valley from many vantage-points. Amongst the blooms was lots of ragwort, notorious for being poisonous to grazing mammals. I looked carefully for any sign of the cinnabar caterpillar, but none were to be seen.… Continue reading Alley creatures
Gerrards Cross and the wayfarer
I spent the morning engaged intensely in ‘writing’, if you can call it that. Needing a break, I revisited Gerrards Cross, keen to see if the Odeon cinema has changed since the photo (from the Sixties) that I published the other day. Never mind that. Does Gerrards Cross welcome the wayfarer? Consider the evidence. A… Continue reading Gerrards Cross and the wayfarer
Gerrards Cross
My wanderings usually take me through wild footpaths and unpretentious housing estates. I’ve had no occasion to visit the village of Gerrards Cross, which “has a reputation for being very upmarket and exclusive, with house prices being considerably higher than average. Located in the commuter belt of London, the village is the most expensive postcode… Continue reading Gerrards Cross
The visionary eye
Reality and imagination are forever intertwined, and it’s from their potent combination that magic is concocted. Modern scientists are often against this. Richard Dawkins has felt a vocation to keep reality and imagination apart, for the mischief they can cause when entangled. It’s rather like saying, “We know what boys and girls can get up… Continue reading The visionary eye
Cornfields near Amersham Old Town
Dedicated to Joanne (Serenity) because she is an artist and may appreciate the colours and textures. I'm in the process of writing and editing something else, so not many words today. From Chalfont St Giles, looking towards Amersham The colours are at their most seductive before the barley is ripe This is even truer of… Continue reading Cornfields near Amersham Old Town
To Hayden, on pets
I think Hayden is my longest-serving, faithfullest blogging friend. But when she writes about Jake, my empathy isn’t immediate. I prefer a cool relationship with wild animals who go their own way at their own pace, and don’t beg from me with soulful eyes. Slugs spring to mind, or rats. I’ve written here several times… Continue reading To Hayden, on pets
Reunion
I felt pleased on finishing my last piece, on Everything. What else was there to say? Much as Thomas Aquinas must have felt trying to wrap up his great work, Summa Theologica, but in a tiny way. But then in his latter years, Aquinas saw things in a different proportion, and said one day to… Continue reading Reunion
Everything but the Kitchen Sink
I do feel the urge to philosophize, if only the Muse will allow. She says I must not try the patience of my readers. Oh well, here goes, I’ll start with a sweeping generalisation: “Religion is about perfection, while science and engineering are about trial and error.” Before you have the chance to say “I… Continue reading Everything but the Kitchen Sink
Glimpsing Eternity
When we speak of God or gods, it’s to express the otherwise inexpressible. This is something that atheists and materialists seem to wilfully misunderstand, when they say that it’s irrational to believe what you cannot see. As you’ll see from various entries in this blog, there are two kinds of immortal I can’t do without… Continue reading Glimpsing Eternity
Four-leaf clover
I wrote a piece called Lucky in July 2008. I had wanted to illustrate it with a four-leaved clover, the symbol of luck. I had never found one, though in my dreamy childhood, I must have spent hours searching for them, especially when deployed as a fielder near the boundary of a cricket field. Perhaps… Continue reading Four-leaf clover
A modest school reunion
I often “dwell in the past”. It’s a fabulous museum, where you can look at the same exhibits time and again, and discover new ones you hadn’t noticed before, and see the familiar ones from new angles. My fondness for this pastime owes a lot to my sense that I didn’t live my life fully… Continue reading A modest school reunion
Under the Umbrella Tree
It suddenly dawns upon me—several hours before dawn—that there might be a point to all this. I mean the world, as it is; the discrepancy between the yearning and the reality; the intended and the manifest; the imagined joy and the actual dissatisfaction. Might it be that perpetual motion is the whole point? I recall… Continue reading Under the Umbrella Tree
…and a kitchen Sink, too
What is the origin of religion, when we trace it back? Some will believe the books, institutions and preachers, and see a divine order transmitted to receptive human hearts, to save them from brute ignorance and unleavened self-interest. I propose that it comes from the human heart in the first place, in response to a… Continue reading …and a kitchen Sink, too
Blue Sea
It’s nearly three weeks since I last posted here, but it seems much longer. Have I been too busy? No. Has there been a lack of interesting things to write about? No. Have I been too lazy? No. I’ve drafted stuff every day on voice recorder, in my black notebook, in Word documents, or (best… Continue reading Blue Sea
Climb the Lowest Mountain
Blogs are the molehills of literature. A mole plays havoc with a lawn by leaving little piles of soil as evidence of its nocturnal tunnelling. Nothing infuriates a gardener more. But a child is fascinated; none more so than the child who takes words at face value. Many times I would exploit a grazed knee… Continue reading Climb the Lowest Mountain
Back home in Blighty
Whenever I leave the country for a few weeks, something crazy happens to it. I still feel guilty about the Falklands War, which broke out during my sojourn in Kuala Lumpur as a consultant to the Malaysian Ministry of Health, which itself happened for a crazy reason. In such circumstances, we happy band of expatriates… Continue reading Back home in Blighty
More Jamaica
Keiko & ZACL said how they liked the Jamaican bars and trees illustrated in my last, so here are more: Mango tree from our balcony The same, from the pool At the bar Karleen with Vivilyn, friends from teenage years
Jamaican album
This is a personal selection from 175 photos taken on the trip. Most are of reunions with Karleen’s family and friends, after five years’ absence. I will not bore you with that kind of vacation snaps; only with these! Jamaica has beautiful skies like England (or most places). These were taken from our hotel in… Continue reading Jamaican album
90 minutes in New York
Taken from my seat on our Miami to New York flight I'm not well up on the Odyssey. Isn’t it Homer’s tale of a long trip home? His hero Ulysses wants nothing more than to get back to his wife Penelope, his dog, and the embers of a familiar hearth. Home is that cosy place… Continue reading 90 minutes in New York
From Jamaica
There are tourists, travellers and explorers. We were staying with Auntie Jean in a country area, of which more in a future post, no doubt. We had planned to be tourists for at least half a day but that was progressively downgraded. Ocho Rios & Dunn's River Falls were too far; Negril was too expensive.… Continue reading From Jamaica
In that place
I spent thirty years of my life in a structure of belief that I now find hard to explain. It was an extraordinary honey-trap which leaves me ashamed of having got caught in it. The essence of the creed was to be “in that place”. We all knew what it meant, thanks to our possession… Continue reading In that place
Amber
Writing is a medium for the preservation of thoughts. Within the preservative—a string of words— the thoughts are embedded or entangled, just as prehistoric insects are caught in amber. Even if we find insects—the subject matter, the thought itself—repulsive, we can still admire the golden translucence and high polish of a piece of amber. If… Continue reading Amber
James Lovelock – transcript of radio interview
Humphrys: I’ve been talking about climate change to one of the world’s most respected scientists, Professor James Lovelock, the man who developed the Gaia theory, which says the earth functions as a kind of giant self-regulating organism. His new book is called “The Vanishing Face of Gaia”. I asked him in what sense Gaia is… Continue reading James Lovelock – transcript of radio interview
To a nephew
Afam is my nephew by marriage, nearly 15, and goes to a good school where good money must be paid for the education provided. So I was asking him about that, and he told me his vocabulary had become somewhat depleted. He didn’t actually use the word “depleted”.. He explained that in earlier years he… Continue reading To a nephew
in a Mapless Dimension
This is the day I become clear about the purpose of my purposeless journey. Now the task is to express clearly what I see clearly. My path leads more to the past than the future, for “the past is my treasure” as an archaeologist might say. I heard the scraping shovel from behind a hoarding… Continue reading in a Mapless Dimension
the Springtime of youth
To spare the young man’s blushes I shall abbreviate his name to A—. He’s my nephew by marriage, nearly 15, and goes to a good school. So I was asking him about that, and he told me his vocabulary had become somewhat depleted. He didn’t use the word “depleted” of course. He explained that in… Continue reading the Springtime of youth
The past rewrites itself
Further to my last I’ve made a start on some real writing, as opposed to these blogging ephemera. Instead of an occasional post to commemorate a day, I am engaged on a so-far shapeless project to put down something a little more lasting: not just for a book, but a hardback; allowing myself a length… Continue reading The past rewrites itself
Not Knowing
I have just decided, on behalf of humanity as a whole, that not knowing is good. In any event, it pervades our lives as a fact. How many times a day do we say, “You never know;” or “God knows,” with its unsaid “(I don’t)”? To endorse the virtue of uncertainty, I finally stopped dithering… Continue reading Not Knowing
User-friendly
I really haven’t got time to write anything here. This makes it all the more important to do it anyway, for I write to discover what I really think. Think? I’m not referring to “detached thought”, that attempt to be rational that we learn as a trick, as a performing seal balances a beach-ball on… Continue reading User-friendly
Eternity in the City
This was written in the early Nineties and published on a website, before the dawn of blogs Cloistered all day, I had forgotten once again that an outside world existed. In a windowless office I saw no seasons, no day, no night. There was only harsh lighting, never switched off. The shock of emerging into… Continue reading Eternity in the City
Night and Day
If Day is the realm of Nature, then Night—at any rate to this brain, at this hour of darkness, still a long way from dawn—is the domain of artificiality. There are other claimants to the imperial mantle of Night. The most democratic, the winner of the majority vote, is Sleep. But I am interested in… Continue reading Night and Day
Theatre of Life
This evening a thin fog puts a halo around the streetlamps, and I see that they are different colours, in shades from lemon to orange. A car with bluish headlamps swishes past, leaving a tangible quietness in its wake, whilst I stand under a streetlamp, letting my own footsteps relapse into a special kind of… Continue reading Theatre of Life
Ticket to Paradise
(Inspired by Tracy Chapman’s ‘Fast Car’) He stares down at the ticket. The only other thing on his table is a coating of grey dust. Tears roll down his cheeks, splash in the dust. Ticket to paradise, ticket to life. He sits down with a thud. Ah, the years gone by! He was younger then,… Continue reading Ticket to Paradise
The Folly of a Clown
a long-lost post How much of human life is folly? Dare one even ask? If I’m an employee, I have only to utter some magic words: “It doesn’t matter, so long as they are paying me.” Or, if I’m an entrepreneur: “It doesn’t matter, so long as it makes money”. Thus we and the mess… Continue reading The Folly of a Clown
Life’s Predicament
Woke up this morning to recall that it’s my first ordinary day for weeks. I've emerged from a season of interruptedness, in which celebration took the form of reuniting with family; not all at once in a single gathering but serially; noting my kinship and resemblance with this one or that; seeing the big or… Continue reading Life’s Predicament
The slug, my ancestor
Andrew Marr’s Start the Week programme on BBC radio had four scientists as guests, including Richard Dawkins, that missionary for his indivisible cause, “evolution and atheism”. Perhaps he is the progenitor of that hybrid, for I don’t recall Darwin himself being an atheist. I understand Dawkins’ line of reasoning well enough. But where we differ… Continue reading The slug, my ancestor
Angelic message?
Nothing posted here for a long time. I wanted to, but too busy. There was a time two years ago when I could book an hour at the internet café and write one straight off, but these days I convince myself I don’t have an hour to spare, and in any case a gushing torrent… Continue reading Angelic message?
Winter Visit to Cowes
waiting at East Cowes to cross the Medina by chain ferry Window shopping* View from the end of the High Street The Solent—sea and sky Seagull and yacht Crew, sail and clouds *PS April 7th, 2026 She saw a lovely necklace in the window, but there was a sign to say the shop was closed… Continue reading Winter Visit to Cowes
The Pocket Diarist
The postman left a package which felt like a small book. Not expecting any such thing, I was delighted; then opened it, and was Deloitted. Deloitte Touche is the current incarnation of a company I left in 1985, known then as Touche Ross & Co, Accountants. I was in their management consultancy, but now I’m… Continue reading The Pocket Diarist
Finnegan’s
One of our group the other day, who shall be nameless because I can't for the moment remember which of two it was, commented that he was rather put off by this blog's title, "The Retreat". He associated retreat with defeat. That's how tricky words can be, like petards. For ’tis the sport to have… Continue reading Finnegan’s
Holiday Job
After graduation I was determined not to stay in my parents' bungalow any more. Especially because my mother was curious about how I'd got on with Christina after my brief visit to her house. All I could say was that she was nice, but that we had no plans to meet again. Which indeed was… Continue reading Holiday Job
We Create Worlds
After my last post, I’ve been drawn to philosophical speculation. How can we talk of one world, except in given contexts, such as world cocoa prices? How can you ask whether there is hope for the world? I would answer, “Whose world are you talking about?” Each of us sees a different world of experience;… Continue reading We Create Worlds
The world
Children these days seem to discover “the world” at a very early age, if my small sample of three grandchildren is anything to go by. Before their fourth birthday, they know how to stretch on tiptoe and describe arcs with the furthest reach of their fingertips, chanting “big as the whole world” as a kind… Continue reading The world
Unto the hills
“When I was someone else, that I am not now ...” continued. Let us assume that each one of us contains multiple personalities. Vincent exists in the written word, is not quite the same as his author, who inhabits other dimensions never written down. Vincent is several persons, separated by time-slices, spliced together into fragments… Continue reading Unto the hills
The pull of heredity
“When I was someone else, that I am not now ...” this is worth investigating. So said Ghetufool, commenting on one of my recent posts. I agreed the phrase is worth investigating, and it took me back through history, that fascinating subject, both the human and natural kinds, and especially the mysterious parts that we… Continue reading The pull of heredity
Literature’s miraculous god-child
What would it be like to be someone else? I suppose this is why we read literature, to see through others’ eyes, gaze into their souls. I like unusual views and the best way to find them in books is to avoid what’s popular today by delving into the past, or seeking out those who’ve… Continue reading Literature’s miraculous god-child
Here I’ll stay
Two years ago, when I’d just moved into this house and couldn’t get online, I’d go to the internet café on the Desborough Road and compose a blog post in an hour. One post, “Being Ordinary”, is an example, perhaps the only one, and didn’t work out too badly. Where did that simple spontaneity go?… Continue reading Here I’ll stay
Champion of the Ordinary
Odour, as complained of in my post Unseen Foe, has been replaced by order, after months of effort. The company responsible for sewerage has written a pleasant letter: “As you are aware our Engineer [—] has visited the site and carried out investigations. Our conclusion is that this is a private issue. Our sewers have… Continue reading Champion of the Ordinary
One’s Own Backyard
It’s tempting with a digital camera to think that a picture is worth a thousand words, so you can just snap something and stick it in a blog, as if it had the power to capture the feeling which made you take the picture. But the camera’s just a soulless eye that delivers aspects of… Continue reading One’s Own Backyard
Fernando Pessoa
Image from an article in Southern Cross Review I wanted to sing the unsung, but the unsung has already been sung, by Fernando Pessoa, who I discovered via Brett Johnson's site*, making the whole blogging project meaningful and eternally validated. After a misspent childhood, youth, manhood and middle-age, I spend my remaining years redoing, reviewing,… Continue reading Fernando Pessoa
Tooting Broadway dude
Three years ago my son gave me a denim jacket carrying the Caterpillar label. He’d got it from someone sharing the same student lodgings, who had submitted a number of original designs to Caterpillar. They made a few prototypes and mine is one, perhaps the only one of its exact style in existence. I’ve worn… Continue reading Tooting Broadway dude
Heaven-haven
Deep within me there hides a contemplative nun, who wants to do nothing in this world but observe its wondrous mysteries and pray for its wellbeing. It’s rather disturbing for a man to find this buried beneath his ingrained habit of action—to be always doing, whether or not it’s reasonable: action for the sake of… Continue reading Heaven-haven
X: the unknown
Aerial View of San Francisco in the Fifties showing Coit Tower from avaloncm on flickr Consider the game of peekaboo. In England the mother says “Peep-bo!” when she reappears after hiding, and the baby gurgles in delight. Then she hides again, nothing elaborate, just ducks out of sight, and the baby starts to become anxious.… Continue reading X: the unknown
Up through the floorboards
For weeks, probably months, I’ve been bothered by a fugitive stench, hanging in the air at various places, various times, in the kitchen and dining room, not always the same smell. Every mammal knows not to foul its own nest and the sense of outrage at any fouling by others must be etched deep into… Continue reading Up through the floorboards
The mysterious impulse
"It would be idle to inquire why Mr Razumov has left this record behind him. It is inconceivable that he should have wished any human eye to see it. A mysterious impulse of human nature comes into play here. Putting aside Samuel Pepys, who has forced in this way the door of immortality, [we observe… Continue reading The mysterious impulse
body consciousness …1
Body consciousness
My body is an instrument, both scientific and musical. I use it to discover the world through the senses. Meanwhile, it vibrates with its own frequencies, for no other purpose but joy and sensuous pleasure. “Body consciousness” needs what Wikipedia calls “disambiguation”. In the media, which is to say in the lowest common denominator of… Continue reading Body consciousness
Nightmare
I’ve taken a vow to post here daily, to discover what is happening to me. A million things hit my consciousness each day, so what can I mean? I shall write in accordance with blind compulsion, with no guarantee of truth, other than some poetic kind. Yet, as they used to say in the slot-machine … Continue reading Nightmare
Blessings for All
My life is a series of blessings, like a string of pearls. If a blessing is possible, surely it is bestowed, distributed, not hoarded by a miserly God. And if blessings occur, why should they ever stop? For a blessing by its definition is a supernatural thing. No obstacle stands in its way. So I… Continue reading Blessings for All
The Abyss
Scattered amongst these pages is a series of sketches which, extracted and sorted in chronological order, constitute a personal memoir; more of a collage than a coherent portrait. But I’ve never yet managed to cover the era between the ages of sixteen and sixty-four. Until this moment of writing—in which dawn has not yet broken,… Continue reading The Abyss
A tumbling profusion
The great thing about growing plants—flowers, fruit or vegetables— is that when you grow them close together, or allow random seeds to grow, they arrange themselves. They make accommodation with one another to catch the sun, and achieve a tumbling profusion, such as we may find in wild or semi-wild places. As for my backyard,… Continue reading A tumbling profusion
Laughing water
I drafted this article five years ago and two years later promised a post on the topic: “I will some time tell here the story of my visit to the Mustardseed community in Jamaica, where I encountered a shining human being. Aged 21, she had been severely brain-damaged from birth and in consequence was no… Continue reading Laughing water
Grace and Dignity
Mahatma Gandhi tells me I must be the change I want to see in the world. He didn’t say this lightly: you only have to look at his life to see he was deadly serious. Nor do I argue with him, though till now I haven’t bothered myself with consciously wanting any change in the… Continue reading Grace and Dignity
Risk assessment
Restored on 6th September 2024. Looking in a shoebox of old software packages on CD I discovered this, meaning I'm now able to use my old Access applications again, including one I designed to facilitate an organization to assess its risks and apply for ISO 9001 certification, for which I was in theory a licensed… Continue reading Risk assessment
Scraps for a Future History of Now
I had intended to take my well-trodden valley path, a fruitful place for broodings which I’ve several times captured and preserved in essays on this site. But a different plan revealed itself as I progressed. The first leg was walking with Karleen to her work at the hospital, about a mile away. After we said… Continue reading Scraps for a Future History of Now
The senses
I ask myself why I don’t write here more often. Since January 2008, I’ve wanted to post something daily. What prevents? The biggest obstacle is some self-imposed rules, very constraining ones, so that however much I scribble, little emerges to see the light of day. The most important rule is to write from some kind… Continue reading The senses
Dawn song
At four minutes past four a lone blackbird on a chimneypot opposite my house starts his song, tentative but persistent. The sky is lightening, he tells the world. This is no time to stay unconscious. Because he speaks in blackbird language, I don’t really know the meaning of his telling, but only guess that his… Continue reading Dawn song
This blessed plot
If I have a favourite spot it is Cowes, or more precisely five acres overlooking the Solent, the strait which separates the Isle of Wight from the English mainland. I lived there aged thirteen for a year; and again at seventeen, at a different house nearby. Each was a front-row seat at a non-stop theatre… Continue reading This blessed plot
Enhancing the sky
I suppose I’m generally a fatalist, accepting what comes. “Che sarà, sarà / Whatever will be, will be”. So I rarely have cause to pray for anything. In small ways, I can impose my creative ideas through focused effort and perseverance: for instance keeping the house and garden shipshape. But my scope is narrow, and… Continue reading Enhancing the sky
A fig-leaf for David
It’s the 6th of August 1962. I’m sitting on the steps outside the Duomo, Florence’s cathedral, trying to work out whether I’m a student, an ex-student or merely a tourist. I’ve recently arrived from Marseille, where I spent some weeks—I've no idea how many; and I have not yet located my fellow-students of Italian language… Continue reading A fig-leaf for David
David’s fig-leaf
It’s the 6th of August 1962. I’m sitting on the steps outside the Duomo, Florence’s cathedral, trying to work out whether I’m a student, an ex-student or merely a tourist. I’ve recently arrived from Marseille, where I spent some weeks—I've no idea how many; and I have not yet located my fellow-students of Italian language… Continue reading David’s fig-leaf
Waiting
Written on May 4th 2009, rediscovered on a search for Apollinaire, French poet On a morning like this I feel a strong call to take the Valley Path (which I’ve written about a few times) on account of the clear sky, the expectant hush as in a theatre when the curtain is about to go… Continue reading Waiting
Art, not Nature
It was increasing impatience with (or even revulsion from) woolly Romanticism which led in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to movements in art and literature where form and colour were pursued as if for their own sakes, to create new worlds of experience, which in a sense parted company with Nature. The nature of a… Continue reading Art, not Nature
The Muse is a Jealous Mistress
I hold the art of writing in too high regard to dare call myself writer. I think I shall change my Profile: occupation Gentleman. Writing, like any pastime fit for this kind of person and the female equivalent, is an arena of infinite striving, especially when, as in my case, its only object is to… Continue reading The Muse is a Jealous Mistress
The Faculty of Wonder
Faculty? I mean the university rather than the human kind. Well, both. Over at Hippocrates Got Lost, we were talking about hospital chaplains: ostensibly the conundrum of who should pay them. This has led to a discussion. We all agree that they help the patients get better, or give them palliative comfort. So this led to… Continue reading The Faculty of Wonder
Who is my neighbour?
It’s 3am and I can’t decide between tea to wake me up or hot milk to send me back to sleep. Why not both together? I end up improvising Indian chai, brewing some tea with ginger, cloves, cinnamon, allspice and dark sugar all boiled in milk. It tastes authentic enough. Decision-making is not my strong… Continue reading Who is my neighbour?
Want and need
“We all want. We all need. When want overpowers need, our perspective gets skewed. I say, want all you want—wanting motivates. However, need very little and you will almost always be satisfied.” (Pauline’s latest post made me think, and my comments on her post expanded afterwards into the stuff below.. They appear as by Hendrix,… Continue reading Want and need
Parallel Paths
I’ve been meaning to write more about happiness, but the topic is elusive to say the least and it seems there has not been enough time. I wasn’t sure until yesterday what this meant (what interval of unbroken time would be enough?), but this morning, rising at 4.30 in the morning I know even more… Continue reading Parallel Paths
Pandora’s Box
I argued with Charles Bergeman a while ago on the topic of happiness: whether, for example, a five-year-old child could have said to its teacher something like: “I don’t want to be anything when I grow up, I just want to be happy.” I said it didn’t ring true and then I promised to write… Continue reading Pandora’s Box
Intrepid Victorians (2)
I mentioned in my last that Dolomite Strongholds is illustrated by the author, with his photos, colour lithographs and pen drawings. As I browsed this beautifully-produced book, a delicate sheet of folded paper slid out, containing pen drawings (traced on top of original pencil sketches) on both sides. None of these were incorporated into the… Continue reading Intrepid Victorians (2)
Intrepid Victorians
I've inherited a little volume, illustrated by the author, who was also my great-grandfather, entitled Dolomite Strongholds: the last untrodden peaks; published in 1894. Don’t you love that Victorian prose, its characteristic style at once lofty and light, beloved of those who would make parodies of the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, particularly those… Continue reading Intrepid Victorians
What the Alpine Club had to say
REVIEWS AND NOTICES. Dolomite Strongholds. B y the Rev. J. Sanger Davies. Illustrated. (London : Bell and Sons. 1894.) WE are informed on the title page of this book that it contains an account of ascents of the last untrodden Alpine peaks—namely, the Creda da Lago, the Little and Great Zinnen, the Cinque Torri, the… Continue reading What the Alpine Club had to say
The Long Journey to Now
I’m walking through Hughenden Park, pondering the suitcase of old photos, wondering what I can tell and what I cannot. There is no point in showing the emotive or personal ones because it will be impossible to share the feelings they evoke without a volume of history and explanation. I have picked out two whose… Continue reading The Long Journey to Now
Old photos
I've been loaned a set of family photos and it's a voyage of discovery, reminding me of aspects of my childhood and introducing me to the childhood of my own grandparents.
Portrait of Two Kings
I'm sure it was done by a professional photographer. I don’t think amateurs would have been able to do much indoor photography in 1867. Electric flashguns had not been invented. If they had, there would be the problem of synchronizing flash with the camera's shutter. I'm no expert but remember from childhood a book which… Continue reading Portrait of Two Kings
At Mrs Jenkins’
Last night we watched My Left Foot, in which Daniel Day-Lewis plays the real-life Christy Brown, born to a family of thirteen in a Dublin slum with severe cerebral palsy. To his parents, it’s out of the question that he should be abandoned in an institution, but they cannot afford the home care and treatment… Continue reading At Mrs Jenkins’
Evangelist
The last two days I’ve been stuck indoors with a heavy cold and a raised temperature. Not even tasting the fresh air outside, and my head thickly congested, I’m unable to activate that part of the brain that’s a spokesman for the soul, but I thought I might just start anyhow, and see if in… Continue reading Evangelist
In the footsteps of Basho
If a website can merit its own patron saint, then I choose Basho, that wayfarer and Zen monk whom I commemorate above with a quotation. In his travel writings—prose interspersed with haiku—he tours Japan on the pretext of pilgrimages. (See typical extract below, in my first comment.) I went a little further afield yesterday, drawn… Continue reading In the footsteps of Basho
Metaphors
By kindly grace of destiny, I have a whole house to roam in, so there should be no need to go wayfaring outside, where it’s cold, especially as my leg hurts and I’m waiting for the postman, who’s due to deliver a package that won’t fit through the slot in the door. I can roam… Continue reading Metaphors
Crime and Punishment
It’s not dawn yet, but I’ve turned on the heating and lit a candle. Through this study window that keeps a secret eye on the wider world, I see in the street's yellow lamplight the snowflakes falling. I’ve just finished the last few pages of Crime and Punishment, illuminated at the very last by redemption… Continue reading Crime and Punishment
Beginnings
My head says that the perfect wayfaring is to follow an ancient trail through the hills, where the eye can roam to horizons beyond where the feet can tread: a Himalaya or Grand Canyon of the soul. My feet know better. The other day, I set out on a banal errand, accompanying Karleen to town… Continue reading Beginnings
The persistence of selfhood
“You don’t know what you think until you speak.” Which is why I blog. And then there are the extempore comments scattered across cyberspace, wanton and unremembered: pigeons loosed but never coming home to roost for they are not of the homing variety. Or they are seeds broadcast, which engender new life in many a… Continue reading The persistence of selfhood
The Centaur
Three years ago I cured myself from a serious chronic illness; and changed my life as a result. Only now am I able to put in simple words what happened. The rider started to respect the horse. Instead of “cogito, ergo sum”, the centre of gravity became body-wisdom, the wondrous human animal. Both are joined… Continue reading The Centaur
Me and the Kenyan Mau-Mau
I lie soaking up warmth. Around me, steam rises like incense. I marvel like a savage at this jar of Royal Jelly and Pure Honey Moisture-Rich Cream Bath. What attracts me is the glittery swirls, as if the gunk inside were gold-dust bound with egg-yolk. As the list of ingredients doesn’t mention gold, the sparkle… Continue reading Me and the Kenyan Mau-Mau
Flight and Pursuit
The weather here in High Wycombe remains unusually mild for this time of year, a minor effect of global warming no doubt. I just stumbled on this old post. On my way to bed the other night I was brushing my teeth in the cold bathroom, when a thought occurred to me, which I’ll tell… Continue reading Flight and Pursuit
Act of Penance
Restoring this post from perpetual-lab.blogspot.com on September20th, 2025,I laugh at what I wrote then I have an urge to penance. It is not to punish myself for any particular sin, but to follow an inbuilt impulse towards sackcloth and ashes, that the Bible refers to so many times; as if depriving oneself of physical comfort… Continue reading Act of Penance
Ghetu files a new story
I had been so curious to read his new story. It had been such a long time since the last that I could hardly believe he would be able to write as he used to, with such extraordinary power and naturalness and ability to wrap a world into a narrative, a world moreover which would… Continue reading Ghetu files a new story
Don’t try this at home
I nearly swallowed some extra strong bleach. I can tell you how it happened, but I don’t know how it could happen. Perhaps I unwittingly broke a law of physics. You can’t do that? Tell me what law says you can’t break a law of physics! I don’t know of a law of Nature that… Continue reading Don’t try this at home
Sexual energy
Years ago, before the public library in this town was cunningly pruned and restocked to reflect the scientifically-determined reading taste of the residents, it contained some quirky books that made a rainy-day visit into an exciting adventure. In the foreign languages section I found a novel by Pierre Boulle. I was astonished to discover he… Continue reading Sexual energy
Not knowing feels like a good place to be
We have a lot of low walls round here, convenient for sitting on; for example in the playground, a favourite haunt of drinkers. A couple were there yesterday morning, spreading their belongings and litter, a man and a woman. They chatted, played cards, greeted me as I passed and were relieved at my friendly response.… Continue reading Not knowing feels like a good place to be
Retracing
This blog started out with the title An Ongoing Experiment. What the experiment was designed to investigate was never clear to me. It was ongoing: its discoveries would define its objectives. The spirit of the “perpetual laboratory” remains, though it later changed its name to As in Life, emulating a still pool reflecting the sky—art… Continue reading Retracing
After Rain
It was a Sunday morning in March and I was just 16. I’d been writing an essay on a stanza from a poem by William Wordsworth: A violet by a mossy stone Half hidden from the eye Fair as a star when only one is shining in the sky I’d been sitting by the warm… Continue reading After Rain
Greeting Strangers
Place does affect the way I write—maybe the tone—but it always has an influence. Does place matter in your work? Poet Scot Young asked this question in his blog and I said yes. When I go walking, thoughts come to me, and they seem to resonate with the sky, trees, roadside litter, sounds, everything. I… Continue reading Greeting Strangers
Remembrance Sunday
I went to a church service today, the first time for many years. It was Remembrance Sunday, commemorating war dead, a civic occasion, as my photos illustrate, with attendance by the Mayor, Member of Parliament, police chief, local Air Force chief and so on; with a band (sea cadets), a saluting platform, wreaths placed at… Continue reading Remembrance Sunday
Dress code
In my last, I claimed that my long-standing writer’s block was over, and promised to continue my memoirs from where they left off last February at the age of fourteen. There has been plenty of scribbling since then but nothing fit to print. I wanted by some means to indicate “the story so far” so… Continue reading Dress code
Brother Sun, Sister Moon
I’m sure everyone has blessings worth counting and those who do count them are blest indeed. One that I’m particularly grateful for is the blessing of space: physical space, time too; or a metaphysical combination of both. I wake at 3:30 and dress myself warmly against the autumnal chill in the house, quiet as the… Continue reading Brother Sun, Sister Moon
Then and Now
Days pass. Not much wayfaring and not much writing. The two are connected. I had promised to dedicate a post to Lady in Red, who writes “I love it when you describe the places you walk through, bringing it alive for those of us who can only imagine both the countryside and the industrial areas… Continue reading Then and Now
Liking and disliking
I don’t like the idea of self-help literature. I write to help me. You can write or read to help yourself. We all have our likes and dislikes. To follow my desire is a great joy, but what to do about the things that I hate? The worst is to dislike myself, for then anyone… Continue reading Liking and disliking
Angels disguised as bandits
I passed through the children’s playground. From where I live it’s a pedestrian shortcut into town. Two boys were there, who looked about 8, one with a bandanna tied around his face, like a masked bandit holding up a Wells Fargo coach. At his age I must have done the same. They asked me for… Continue reading Angels disguised as bandits
Diogenes and Alexander
For Scot & Ghetufool A dear friend asks some questions in comments on my previous post. I numbered them for convenience, intending to answer them one by one. (So much for intentions.) (1) Do you think this kind of serenity is possible in daily life? or (2) that I have to be retired like you… Continue reading Diogenes and Alexander
Memory’s Carillon
I don’t know if there is anyone, even myself, who can quite grasp what I’m getting at here. Whatever “here” means. We live over the street and sleep with the window wide open. The street is small and crowded, each house 12 foot wide and joined to the next. At night it’s utterly silent. No… Continue reading Memory’s Carillon
Running with Bulls
In hindsight, my last post sounds a little Quixotic: retired man goes on mysterious Quest, tries to attach importance to his ramblings — the ones on foot and the verbal ones, both. That’s a fair enough summary, especially the reference to “hindsight” — a theme I’ll develop further. On the walk I partly described in… Continue reading Running with Bulls
In a dark and secret wood
It’s time I explained what the “Wayfaring” of this website means: at least what it means to me. Something simple, certainly, but deep too. How many times have you said, or heard someone say “There’s nothing like a walk in the fresh air for clearing one’s head”? Perhaps from a headache, a hangover even;… Continue reading In a dark and secret wood
The lure of literature
Originally published on Blogger on September, '08, when blogging was very much a thing. Many of those who commented had multiple blogs which are still alive and kicking. Some see blogs as self-indulgent monologues. But to be pedantic—and who’s to stop me, this is my own self-indulgent monologue—a blog is not a literary form and… Continue reading The lure of literature
Lehman Brothers bites the dust
I’m not a complete stranger to the world of investment banking. Morgan Grenfell sent me to Dublin for a while in ’85 to test a new system they’d commissioned. More recently, some time in the Nineties, I visited the London headquarters of Lehman Brothers, I can’t recall what for, but had to wait in their… Continue reading Lehman Brothers bites the dust
Resuming normality
The night is full of mysteries. They haunt us when we can't sleep, and there's no one to share them with. That's what prompts me to write here. Meanwhile dawn is coming, sheds light on this side of Earth. The mysteries aren't illuminated, they merely vanish. Dawn blushes red now, over yonder hill. I draw… Continue reading Resuming normality
Bonfire of the vanities
Since this photo, the fire’s gone out after consuming the fence and denuding finally gone out after consuming the adjacent fence and half of the overhanging tree. In the scale of things, gratitude is now in order My next-door neighbour, bottom left in the pic, had complained to the Council about the state of his… Continue reading Bonfire of the vanities
Cowes Horizons
In process of being restored When you live in East Cowes, your attention is drawn to horizons. Boats are constantly coming and going. All kinds: ferries, tankers, container ships, yachts, dinghies, powerboats, even fishing vessels perhaps. And it’s not just the visual movement that draws your attention to far away. The first evening, when we… Continue reading Cowes Horizons
News of the fight soon reached the Queen
"One day in 1852, young Freddie Attrill was gathering shell-fish on Osborne beach when another boy came along, told him to clear off and kicked his bucket flying. Indignant, Freddie gave him a thump—only to be told by shocked attendants that he had just hit Albert Edward, Queen Victoria’s eldest son and heir to the… Continue reading News of the fight soon reached the Queen
Only the bicycle shed still stands
It’s fifty-four years since I lived in East Cowes. It has the air of being past its best, but it had the same air in 1954, so you can say it has hardly changed. Fifty-four years before I lived there, Queen Victoria was still alive and she lived there too, in the house she had… Continue reading Only the bicycle shed still stands
Pilgrimage to Cowes
I've had my camera two years but only recently realized it can hold hundreds of photos if I put in a larger memory card. Just as well, because I was able to take some beautiful photos of a recent visit to the island where I spent my teenage years, the Isle of Wight. Here's a… Continue reading Pilgrimage to Cowes
Walking Alone
What makes us the way we are? What sets us off on our own unique path? Heedless of a fine drizzle, I set out on foot to West Vale, pondering on these questions. There is nothing like walking to set imagination and memory alive. On this afternoon of purposeless wayfaring, I saw my whole life… Continue reading Walking Alone
A stroll round the neighbourhood
I shall take you on a guided tour of our part of town. We are in the valley bottom, where the factories were built at the end of the nineteenth century. I don't know what was there before. I haven't seen any houses older than 1872. This area of the Chilterns has plenty of beech… Continue reading A stroll round the neighbourhood
In the Industrial Valley
rescued from archive.com on Saturday September 20th 2025 I shall take you on a guided tour of my part of town. We are in the valley bottom, where the factories were built at the end of the nineteenth century. I don't know what was there before. I haven't seen any houses older than 1872. This… Continue reading In the Industrial Valley
Intrinsic goodness
Back in the Sixties, I first came across some mysterious expressions from the other side of the Atlantic. I was working for a British company whose main rival was IBM. Both companies had built up a customer base selling punched-card equipment based on the nineteenth-century inventions of Herman Hollerith and his one-time colleague James Powers.… Continue reading Intrinsic goodness
Cherishing the past
Many are they who suppose a blog---such a today thing!---to be ephemeral (“beginning and ending in a day”) in its subject-matter and interest to others. Why should it be so? I celebrate the past, like this stately galleon on the ocean of time, its stern riding proud and high, its prow dipping into the billows… Continue reading Cherishing the past
Seeing from a Height
What do you do with the rest of your life when in early adulthood you are admitted to a vision of universal oneness, in which what seems like God’s love is poured down and you can sensuously swim in it? Paul Maurice Martin wrote notes: diary entries to be expanded later. He went on to… Continue reading Seeing from a Height
from a long-forgotten blog: Reading Without Tears
I cannot believe it was me, Vincent, who wrote this stuff Voices My latest post on A Wayfarer's Notes, Accompaniment, started out with a different agenda: to try and escape a continuing writer's block by writing a further post---about writer's block. (The last such post was reprinted in a Catholic women's journal by request of a reader,… Continue reading from a long-forgotten blog: Reading Without Tears
Blazing a trail
In these pieces I have a consistent aim, like a would-be acrobat endlessly repeating the same manoeuvre, aiming at perfect execution, to demonstrate something to the audience, using his entire body and soul in the demonstration, so that the slightest distraction such as a thought or an itch somewhere on his skin would affect the… Continue reading Blazing a trail
Hole in the head
Phineas Gage was swift, capable, responsible. He was physically fit and a leader of men. These qualities made him at the age of 25 a supervisor on a Vermont railroad construction project; and might have helped him rise through the ranks to a senior management position in that branch of engineering. But the smooth track… Continue reading Hole in the head
Encounter in a landscape
Belatedly, I discover that manual work is better than being desk-bound, better for the soul—and the world too, probably. But first some words to continue from yesterday’s set of photos. One of them shows part of the track I walked: down the hill through the nature reserve where the wild roses grew, then through high… Continue reading Encounter in a landscape
Country walk
The Gift Horse
Why do I have to be so like my grandfather? He bought a cheap Ford in 1935 and didn’t give it up, just replaced parts as necessary, till his younger daughter in 1967 (my mother's sister Peggy) told him time was up. Then he drove her VW Beetle till, in his late eighties, he managed… Continue reading The Gift Horse
Finding Companionship in Reading
. . . We need to find the deepest reason for our emotions. The clue came in something delivered through my letterbox yesterday: a “journal for all women interested in spirituality, theology, ministry and liturgy”. It’s not my normal reading, but they sent me a complimentary copy in return for publishing one of my recent… Continue reading Finding Companionship in Reading
Back in the Rain
We arrived home in the stilly hours of Sunday morning, in steady reassuring rain: a rain which has intensified through this public holiday. The home improvement shops have extra staff on duty in expectation of their busiest day, but with my dripping umbrella, I’m one of the few who make the trip. Intending to install… Continue reading Back in the Rain
Rainy day pilgrimage
Undissuaded by heavy rain, and having the day free, I hankered for a bus ride, distance no object. What could be more in accord with my temperament than a pilgrimage? In harmony with the Zen poet Basho, author of The Narrow Road to the Deep North. My destination this morning was “a small café in… Continue reading Rainy day pilgrimage
Back to Slough
I went for the fourth time in a week, on an errand to Slough. It’s a town occupying a special place in the British imagination: perhaps from The Pilgrim’s Progress, which describes the Slough of Despond. “Slough”: a strange English noun, meaning a muddy place: does it rhyme with “cough”, “through”, “though”, or “rough”? With… Continue reading Back to Slough
Religion in Public Life
It’s apparent from the Web that in America religion is as much an irritant on the public consciousness as politics. I mean, you get bitten by the media and you can’t help scratching all the time. So the agenda is stolen. I don’t want to react to the state of religion in America or in… Continue reading Religion in Public Life
Free as a bird
Preface Ghetufool has given me permission to publish his short story here. His pen-name indicates modesty but not in the way you may think: “ghetu phool” is the Bengali for calotropis gigantea, a wayside wildflower. We have collaborated for a year or so (he writes, I edit). You may have seen a brief quote from… Continue reading Free as a bird
Cherry tree
I’ve been wanting to dedicate a whole post to my cherry tree but couldn’t justify it. When commenting on other people’s blogs, I have fewer inhibitions, as in this, to Michael Peverett, re his post “Prunus continued”: . . . I was interested in your prunus pictures because I bought a small fruiting cherry tree… Continue reading Cherry tree
Fresh air
The barrenness of these pages lately means doesn’t mean I’ve not been thinking of offering something to my reader. On the contrary. Though afflicted by a species of writer’s block, I’m not bereft of thoughts and inspirations, and each day scribble them: in Word, on voice recorder, in the black notebook, and failing those, they… Continue reading Fresh air
Stories of animal sagacity
As a child I read Stories of Animal Sagacity, a set of Victorian anecdotes by William Henry Giles Kingston. I didn’t remember his name of course: the World-Wide Web has the full text in facsimile and OCR transcription, with the illustrations reproduced too. Sagacity is a lovely word: it was many years till I came… Continue reading Stories of animal sagacity
Something of the Night
To one who follows his nose as a general principle of life, especially to seek inspiration, it matters when and where the ideas come. Most of the pieces in this blog have been conceived under the sky, preferably walking. “Sit as little as possible; credit no thought not born in the open air and while… Continue reading Something of the Night
Purpose
Outside the supermarket a three-year-old boy was expressing his distress in voice and reddened face. Solicitous, his mother bent down to him. No doubt he had wanted something in the shop and been denied it. He looked like me at that age and in a flash I recalled how I used to behave: a lot… Continue reading Purpose
The constant spring
Sunday morning: I’ve taken my writing-book out to the backyard, where I can sit on this bench and be warmed like a lizard for the first time this year. Surely Spring has arrived! The yard is so tiny, the fences so high, that in winter the sun never reaches the ground: the best it can… Continue reading The constant spring
Bus ride
It is wonderful to be able to rejoice with the fortunate: to see someone beautiful and young who is making the most of what he or she has, in a simple way. When I was at university, I was preoccupied with my own loneliness and wasted my time. If only I could have appreciated what… Continue reading Bus ride
Slug life
A slug theme has been slithering through my last two posts, leaving the question hanging whether my blocking of cracks in the floor would disturb the migration habits of this humble gastropod. Since I had additionally panelled that corner of the kitchen, fitting the pieces closely, except for one part of the plinth which will… Continue reading Slug life
Ant vs. sluggard
After my last post, you may be wondering what happened to the green slug? Has it yet found its way back into the kitchen yet after being flung to the other end of the back yard? Reader, I have to confess that I’ve blocked the hole where it climbed up to the unkempt corner of… Continue reading Ant vs. sluggard
Dignity
What ought I to think about climate change and the impending catastrophes of the world? What ought I to do about these things? Such questions are infiltrating the moral consciousness of humanity. Even the Catholic church now proposes that ruining the environment is another way of offending God, in addition to the seven deadly sins. It’s not my practice… Continue reading Dignity
Bus station
I was waiting at the bus station, that haunt of pensioners, new immigrants and indigent travellers---in short, the dispossessed. I feel at home there. For the first time in fifty-three years, the name of Morton Spencer came back to me. Katie Spencer was my mother’s schoolfriend: vivacious, pretty but still a spinster, still in her… Continue reading Bus station
Belonging
The day after posting my last, I felt cleansed, as a Catholic might feel after a visit to the confessional. Burdens removed, joy restored. I had published only a small selection of what I’d drafted, but had never felt such catharsis from writing, if it is justifiable to link effect and cause in this way.… Continue reading Belonging
The Snowdrop Garden
Today I walked near the house where I lived for 16 years. That’s twelve years longer than I have lived anywhere else in my life. Most of those years I was crippled by a chronic illness and longed to walk the earth freely, so that area has a special poignancy, like the view from a… Continue reading The Snowdrop Garden
As a novice
I live in the poorest quarter of town*, sandwiched between factories, some derelict and some still in use like the one directly across the road. Many of the Pakistani owners of houses like mine have let rooms to migrant workers: hundreds of them are engaged on building a new shopping/leisure complex in town. † Their… Continue reading As a novice
Cherrydown (3)
There’s still a ragbag of memories to share with you about the time I spent in that house. If they have any common theme, I suppose it is wonders and miracles. I’m not saying there actually were any miracles: just incomprehensible things. I mentioned in a previous post that my mother started to suffer from… Continue reading Cherrydown (3)
Cherrydown (2)
If you have been following the halting progress of my childhood memoirs on this direct and intimate medium—where it is possible to publish worldwide before the ink has dried on one’s words though ink is not actually used—you might not be aware of just how halting the progress actually is. You might think that Vincent… Continue reading Cherrydown (2)
Cherrydown (1)
Anno 1956 Aetat. 14 This post picks up my childhood memoirs from where Norfolk House (5): Fog on the Solent left off. We moved to a 1930s semi-detached house, “Cherrydown”, 8 Parkhurst Road, Newport [here photographed August 2008—it hasn’t changed since 1956]. For the first few days, my bed was in the dining room, which… Continue reading Cherrydown (1)
Writing it down
When this blog started, its title was “An Ongoing Experiment”, an idea reflected in its then url: “perpetual-lab.blogspot.com” . I didn’t know where it was going, but it has followed its nose like an unleashed dog on a trail of adventure. Any person or thing which has continuity in time acquires defining characteristics, and these… Continue reading Writing it down
“The Head’s sermon”
Limerick spoof of a sermon delivered at St Thomas’s Church, Newport IW, July 1958, to which parents were invited Improved on Sunday March 1st 2026 Bill McCullagh—we were at school together—has finally sent me a photocopy of an anthology of writings and drawings from that era. Much of it was my work, but the best… Continue reading “The Head’s sermon”
Lion and Thorn
In all cultures there is awe for the power of healing. In Jesus it was a sign of divinity or at least a crowd-puller to his sermons. The wounded lion, from an Aesop’s fable or the legend of St Jerome, is the archetype of a patient unable to diagnose or treat himself. The treatment---extracting the… Continue reading Lion and Thorn
what makes us stronger
I’ve been wanting to know about health and illness for days now. I meant to say “write” but my fingers typed “know”, and they didn’t lie. I haven’t been feeling well enough to write. I could write about my history of illness, but it wouldn’t be fun for you or me. Let’s not forget that… Continue reading what makes us stronger
My true self
Paul had spoken of those who accept the received answers of their religion and find no calling to be seekers. Their satisfaction comes from being in the bosom of a congregation. Cool and detached, I had responded that I would not write about the hypothetical experiences of others, for I would not judge them or… Continue reading My true self
What is God?
>Somewhere along the course of my life I became “spiritual”, or perhaps it would be better to say that I realized I could never be an atheist. Till possibly now ... In approaching this I must tread delicately. Let us not excite our brain-boxes with the wording of the “God-question”, not yet. Our brain is… Continue reading What is God?
The New Pub
These photos are specially for Jim, who asked what the ancient farm illustrated in my last post looks like now that it's a pub. I wanted to take some photos of the inside too, but the camera's batteries died. The first photo was taken from the same position as the old one: on the footbridge… Continue reading The New Pub
MaxiRam revisited
This is MaxiRam Castle, code-name for the place where I worked in 2007 from February to August. Each noon I emerged for an hour-long walk and in those seven months, taking no days of leave, I combed the parks and roads and byways, in a sort of sacred ritual. It connected me with my primitive… Continue reading MaxiRam revisited
Fevered interlude
When you have a virus---cold or flu---it comes and goes in waves, and you don’t know what to do with yourself. I woke in the night, thinking about how to continue my memoirs. There’s plenty left in the pipeline. But after age 21 and before 59, there’s a waste land: not an arid desert, but… Continue reading Fevered interlude
Quotes from Hank Bukowski
On Adversity & Resilience "What matters most is how well you walk through the fire". "Things get bad for all of us, almost continually, and what we do under the constant stress reveals who/what we are". "Nobody can save you but yourself, and you're worth saving". "Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives… Continue reading Quotes from Hank Bukowski
Fog on the Solent (Norfolk House 5)
The Solent may have been the busiest sea-lane in the world and the most varied in its traffic. There were ferries between the mainland and our Island; the Royal Navy base at Portsmouth; the transatlantic liner port at Southampton; the Sawley Oil Refinery where tankers plied from the Gulf; and innumerable sailing craft. The Royal… Continue reading Fog on the Solent (Norfolk House 5)
Norfolk House 2: vignettes
Please note that the Norfolk House story begins at “Nest of Dreams”, so I’ve numbered that “0”. Also that the mention of my “man-flu” affliction introducing yesterday’s piece was a warning that it would be rough. It’s edited extensively now. In “Nest of Dreams” I referred to awakening sexuality. A boy, especially if he has… Continue reading Norfolk House 2: vignettes
Norfolk House 4: Vignettes
Illustration from a wood engraving by Eric Gill Please note that the Norfolk House story begins at “Nest of Dreams”, so I’ve numbered that “0”. Also that the mention of my “man-flu” affliction introducing yesterday’s piece was a warning that it would be rough. It’s edited extensively now. In “Nest of Dreams” I referred to… Continue reading Norfolk House 4: Vignettes
Norfolk House 3; the Back Story
” Beth said I was teasing, in my post Norfolk House (2). It’s so long since these memoirs were interrupted (since early September) that I ought to tell you The Story So Far. I have a head-cold today, but let us give it true dignity and call it man-flu. A woman would just get on… Continue reading Norfolk House 3; the Back Story
Train Scribbler
This train to London goes quite smoothly. That’s the important thing, for it allows me to write legibly in this notebook: correction, would allow me to write legibly if I possessed that skill. Perhaps this trip will have a useful outcome: to provide some new pieces in the jigsaw puzzle of my existence. At present… Continue reading Train Scribbler
Where Norfolk House stood
As I mentioned in my last, Norfolk House was destroyed long ago. It was crumbling when we moved in, and that was 1955. To write more about my sojourn there is more than the work of a day, but meanwhile, here is the Medina Estuary, showing West Cowes at the far end on the left,… Continue reading Where Norfolk House stood
Norfolk House 1
(continued from here). . . Norfolk house was pulled down long ago. We moved there from Powys House, a tall granite Victorian building which still stands, a mile from Queen Victoria’s holiday home at Osborne. Norfolk House was in West Cowes: an Edwardian mansion with broad veranda and balcony overlooking the Solent, that busy strip… Continue reading Norfolk House 1
Meeting myself
last night's dream: I have just dyed my hair orange: a sort of coppery burnt-sienna. I have decided to take up smoking again after all these years, so I leave the house to buy half an ounce of Golden Virginia and some rolling-papers. Do they still sell tobacco in half-ounces, I wonder. Perhaps I will… Continue reading Meeting myself
The Call of Nature
Yesterday I mentioned a psychedelic tree, now strangled by ivy, on the corner of Rectory Avenue. I haven't finished telling about that road. One day at Christmastime when my younger children were little, I took them out of the warm house to breathe the crisp fresh air. We used to live nearby and went up… Continue reading The Call of Nature
Problem Solved
from our backyard, facing west I’ve solved the problem that has baffled mankind through the ages. It’s taken me many years and I thought it might take as many years again to explain it to the world, to help others come to the same realization that I have reached single-handed about the true nature of… Continue reading Problem Solved
Writing Instrument
We think we know somebody. They think they know us. It’s nice because we can always be surprised. My son takes present-buying seriously. He went to a hippy shop and toyed with getting me a piece of angel merchandise or a Native American dream-catcher; but fortunately thought better. I received a hastily-wrapped book and opened… Continue reading Writing Instrument
Christmas 1944
9 thoughts on “Christmas 1944” Hayden May the season's blessings shower you and yours, Vincent! Merry Christmas! Vincent Oh Hayden, thanks! And you too, and your dreams and plans and your past history. What would the present moment be without all those? Rob Cute picture. V One day at Christmas. Someday Christians and Pagans will… Continue reading Christmas 1944
Angel story
This morning I couldn’t park in my own or adjoining streets, so I drove to where I used to live, five minutes’ walk away. I steered into a space next to a red car. The driver got out and came across to speak. I thought he might challenge my right to be there. Signs warn… Continue reading Angel story
The Ventilator Cowl
I lay in a morning bath recalling Mid-December last year, when I used to go wayfaring in stout boots, regardless of the chilly weather and leaden skies: all senses alert like my ancestors the prehistoric hunters. From Gore Hill, I’d look down on Amersham as if I had stumbled on civilization for the first time,… Continue reading The Ventilator Cowl
Clothesline
I might have conveyed the impression in my last that the world has to be put right in order to provide the conditions in which we can live happily. I really think the opposite: that the world has never been better, and never worse, than it is now. We can do our little best to… Continue reading Clothesline
Breakfast Rant
One of the characters in The Secret Agent is Michaelis, the “ticket-of-leave apostle”. Pitifully obese, he finds it difficult to communicate with others having spent his twenty years in jail (judged guilty by association with some terrorist atrocity) developing his own anti-capitalist philosophy. So now he continues his solitude in a cottage provided by a… Continue reading Breakfast Rant
On a Dark and Stormy Night
’Twas a dark and stormy night. We went as planned to The Royal Standard of England, a 900-year-old pub in Buckinghamshire. Above the festooned hops the visitor may descry a skeleton drinker sitting in the rafters, wearing a Roman soldier’s helmet and holding a pewter tankard in his left hand. The pub was hard to… Continue reading On a Dark and Stormy Night
The old telephones
One of the useful functions of retirement must surely be to relive one’s youth. In between comes a time of working-to-support-a-family-and-pay-a-mortgage, which can be irksome to the spirit. It’s easy to forget how hard it was to become adult: to find somewhere to live and pay a month’s rent in advance plus a month’s deposit… Continue reading The old telephones
Not doing and not writing
I haven't delivered on the promise made at the end of my last. I did try to start a memoir of life in the commune, but various technical problems presented themselves. I had difficulty with names. I couldn’t remember some; I didn’t want to use some because the emotion was too strong and telling felt… Continue reading Not doing and not writing
Why Write Memoirs
Between July and September of 2007, before the move which brought me to my new home, a worker’s cottage in the factory district of a Chiltern town, I’d got into a rhythm of posting chapters of a memoir, on this very blog. I produced a series of vignettes, not always in chronological order, covering my… Continue reading Why Write Memoirs
Spreading the Word
A few miles from here, the Wycliffe Bible Translators nestle in a spot near the woods, in huts that might have once been an Army camp, but have now been landscaped into a cosy village from which the Good News is spread worldwide. Jesus in his time couldn’t speak loud enough to be heard by… Continue reading Spreading the Word
To him that knocketh
I mentioned yesterday that when I know what I want but don’t know how to get it, I do what comes naturally then give up and ask the Universe. Example 1 For several months now, I’ve brooded on an idea to help others discover who they are via self-expression and good writing. I envisaged a… Continue reading To him that knocketh
Preferring the old telephones
One of the useful functions of retirement must surely be to relive one’s youth. In between comes a time of working to support a-family and pay the mortgage, which can be irksome to the spirit. It’s easy to forget how hard it was to become adult: to find somewhere to live and pay a month’s… Continue reading Preferring the old telephones
Angelic omens
At 8am I heard the refuse collection lorry. I dashed out, for I hadn’t wheeled out a bin to prepare for its arrival. One of the men saw my plight and kindly came back to empty it, so that was pleasing, till I discovered I had locked myself out: no mobile phone, no money, no… Continue reading Angelic omens
Cool for Cats
" /> There’s a heavy frost this morning, with little diamonds catching the sun. I took pity on the black cat that makes eyes at me every day as it sits on the fence and looks in. It is very grateful, wandering everywhere exploring, delighted to be in the warm. Someone feeds it but it… Continue reading Cool for Cats
Ecstasy and unreason
The single-minded pursuit of ecstasy — that’s what my life is for. Perhaps this is not for everybody, but it’s the only thing that works for me and I’m glad I realised it whilst I still have time. I’ll be resuming my memoirs soon, when things (never mind what) are straightened out a little. The… Continue reading Ecstasy and unreason
Hope
In a recent post, “Alchemy”, Rebb attributed a phrase to me: “a song I’ve felt since before time”. I’m sure I wouldn’t have used those exact words, but nevertheless I’ve been looking for its source. It sounds like her paraphrase for an odd experience that I’ve often tried to express in these pages: the sense… Continue reading Hope
Steppenwolf
I’ve been wanting to write but it’s been difficult lately and I was in the dark as to why, or what to do about it. Yes, my circumstances have changed, and as it seemed to my foolishness, they have improved, for now I’m a house-owner and part of a community, instead of depending on a… Continue reading Steppenwolf
Living an Ordinary Life
For some months now, I’ve been drawn to the ordinary. I can’t exactly explain why. Perhaps something has rubbed off from walking the streets in Babylon Town and in this narrow valley. I live not far from a little river which sneaks behind factories, workshops and the common dwellings put up for workers in the… Continue reading Living an Ordinary Life
Being Ordinary
I'm at the internet café again. Perhaps I'll get connected at home soon. So I am going to write something fast. I will try to express something before my time runs out! (I mean before the time I have paid for runs out, not my life, though that applies too.) There have been some news… Continue reading Being Ordinary
To live a simple life
I’m at the internet café again. Perhaps I’ll get connected at home soon. So I am going to write something fast. I will try to express something before my time runs out! (I mean before the time I have paid for runs out, not my life, though that applies too.) There have been some news… Continue reading To live a simple life
Root and Flower
I am drawn to the root of my existence, but it's hidden. If I dig it up to try and take a look, the plant will be disturbed. But then there is the possibility of writing, which is why I'm doing this now. The flower is the root's expression, its way of interacting with the… Continue reading Root and Flower
Our own nest
A bird in a cage sings more sweetly, they used to say; and no one is more lyrical than the exile. Now that I have come home from exile, able to build a nest in freedom - that is to say bought a cosy little house - I've not written a thing. Plenty of excuses… Continue reading Our own nest
Views from our house
Any time now I expect to be cut off from home internet service while Telecomms does its laborious adjustments from one provider to another. I won't be able to upload photos from the internet café so here are two views: the first from the main bedroom window of my new (old) house and the second… Continue reading Views from our house
Settling in
In this post I described how, aged 12, I used to do my homework on a Singer sewing-machine table in the room next to the kitchen, when I first arrived in a Victorian house on the Isle of Wight. Fifty-three years later, I move to another Victorian house - this time a little worker's cottage -… Continue reading Settling in
The school yard
Me; the bullied boy; Rasmussen That aerial photo of the school helped arouse many memories, which in my life seem to be fastened upon places more than upon people. In that respect, I am more of a cat than a dog. I’m more introverted, solitary, not made to hunt in packs and defer to the… Continue reading The school yard
King James I School
At the school there was a Scout Troop in addition to the Cadet Contingent. At some point in my bookish diversions I had read Baden-Powell’s Scouting for Boys and been seduced by it just like millions of others world-wide. The essence of this seductive power was contained in the bush-hat, the neckwear and the badge-adorned… Continue reading King James I School
The Man who was not my Father
I’m clearing things out and waiting to move to another house and it’s a jittery time for there are delays and dramas, so I cannot write anything coherent. On the other hand I can’t do anything practical till things clarify. Meanwhile I discovered this photo whilst gathering old papers together and deciding what to throw… Continue reading The Man who was not my Father
Some rare photos
It may have been the day I met Marlis, a German girl from West Berlin who came over for the summer. Friends and family were fascinated at this instant liaison. Our subsequent dates away from prying eyes too place on a country footpath near Battle, and in a local cinema. I don't remember any more… Continue reading Some rare photos
Latin Class
Too much is happening in my life at present to write a proper post. The process of remembering schooldays has been action enough, so here is a photo from the archive entrusted to me. It's a Latin class. I hardly remember the master: he must have left soon afterwards. The boy shown highlighted is me.… Continue reading Latin Class
My new school
a: headmaster’s lawn (archery & other photogenic activities for school prospectus & to impress special visitors) b: school yard, cadets’ parade ground etc c: bicycle shed d: WCs e: urinals f: Nissen hut (housing three classrooms) g: Headmaster’s study h: Form III (my first classroom) i: Assembly Hall j: kitchens k: (off picture) the Cadet… Continue reading My new school
He was a veray parfit gentil knight
I’d almost completed a first post about my new School, dominated by the personality of its Headmaster. I was looking for a piece of his writing to demonstrate his pompous English style, when I found a perfectly charming piece which demonstrates nothing of the kind. In homage to his memory and to introduce this man… Continue reading He was a veray parfit gentil knight
The Wings of Fate
I’m still not ready to take you through the gates of my new grammar school and show you round that extraordinary world. But it waits patiently, and when we start, the topic will span five years. In contrast, I was only at Powys House a year.That tall stone mansion had been built in the expectation… Continue reading The Wings of Fate
New day-school
My most vivid memories are not of the first days at my new day-school, as you might think, but of coming back home each afternoon. I’d been five years at boarding-school and could not imagine a greater luxury. Let out at 3.45, I’d arrive home from a country-bus ride, ravenous. My mother let me cut… Continue reading New day-school
Leaving Maxiram
I worked at Fujitsu in Bracknell for eight months, helping develop a system for the Post Office to display videos in the lounge rooms where postmen could relax, chat and get snacks. Back in 2007, the technology for large high-quality video was developing fast. Fujitsu was bidding for a contract to supply and install even… Continue reading Leaving Maxiram
Peter and Johnny
Peter a few years later in school photo Ladies below are the school cooks David Battie, at left, is now an antiques expert on popular TV programmes I was 12 by the time I went to live on the Isle of Wight. The School Magazine of the Newport Grammar School, so kindly given to me… Continue reading Peter and Johnny
meeting and wooing
English divorce in the early Fifties wasn’t a sedate exchange of paperwork between lawyers. If you wanted to contest it—there was every reason to do so—you had to appear in court, and risk your pain being turned into Sunday morning entertainment by reporters from the News of the World. This humiliation happened to my mother… Continue reading meeting and wooing
The Princess Flying Boat
Saunders-Roe Princess Pic: John Howard Worsley Continued from Woodside. Some time after my ninth birthday my mother finally walked out on my stepfather. According to her story it was more like she ran not walked, with pots and pans hurled as she fled down the stairs. But then she was suing for divorce on grounds… Continue reading The Princess Flying Boat
August
I’ve been wondering what spirituality means. I don’t see how I can possibly know; which is odd considering how I spent the last thirty years. Religion has become opaque to me, for I feel myself to be an animal: maybe a puppy not properly trained. I have only to leave the confines of Indoors to… Continue reading August
Altering the past
Heavy rain outside the house at sunset A friend points out that the reason I am not getting many comments here is that I don’t reply to many of them. I appreciate them all and am excited to receive them. They are helpful and encouraging. What’s my excuse for not responding lately? Well, the impact… Continue reading Altering the past
Woodside
Aged eight to eleven, I was often taken by my mother & stepfather to Woodside, on the Isle of Wight, in the summer holidays. We reach the end of the country road. A sign says Woodside House Private and we go through the white gate, down a long winding drive to a red-brick residence, from… Continue reading Woodside
A Naturist Stepfather
It took little time for my mother and stepfather to discover their marriage was a mistake. The knot was tied in church on a chilly day in January: my sister appeared in September. He was a bachelor of independent means—owning various properties around the town and living off their rents, while she was a woman… Continue reading A Naturist Stepfather
Round and Round the Pampas Grass
Mark was the first child I met on arrival in England aged four, and is the living person I’ve known the longest. We had driven from Tilbury Docks in Grandpa’s old Ford and I slept all the way. I woke to tea in the garden. Mark pointed out his tortoise, which crouched with its moving… Continue reading Round and Round the Pampas Grass
Fantasies
Recalling materials for a memoir is like being an archaeologist. Sometimes you have to make do with nothing but a handle, or a spout. From this you deduce and reconstruct the rest of the jug whose fragments have been ground small by Time. Painstaking effort must be aided by guesswork, for you don’t have every… Continue reading Fantasies
Bicycle
Long ago, when we were 11 or 12, I received a wonderful favour from Cooksey. We used surnames only at prep school, so Cooksey is all I have: hardly enough to track him down now. His parents were in Hong Kong, but at half-term, when almost every boy went away for the Saturday and Sunday,… Continue reading Bicycle
The headmaster’s wife
Lying awake at night, it’s as though I can draw back a curtain to expose deep alcoves of memory. It takes a little perseverance. Suddenly I recall that “perseverance” was a favourite word of Monty Brummell-Hicks, the scary headmaster of my prep school, that place I was sent for ten or twelve weeks at a… Continue reading The headmaster’s wife
Guilty
I’ve hinted that my headmaster, Montague Brummell-Hicks, viewed me as a boy in need of control and correction. He seemed to have dark suspicions of my character and this irked me from the earliest days, for I saw there were other boys, more handsome and sunny of disposition, whom he favoured. Though I was undeniably… Continue reading Guilty
Days at boarding-school
What distinguishes man from the other animals? I wish I had made a note of all the answers I’ve read. Perhaps someone somewhere has compiled a long list of them. Well here is another for the collection. What distinguishes man from the other animals is the vast spectrum of “normal”. Unlike ducks and pigeons, we… Continue reading Days at boarding-school
Mr Sudell
One could write a memoir based on where one spent each night of one’s life. It would be like a tune on the black keys only, or a painting of the spaces between things, not the things themselves. But there would be blanks in my memoir if I tried that. I can remember when I… Continue reading Mr Sudell
The police arrive
Normally the skirling of police sirens, whilst deafening, passes swiftly enough. This time I subconsciously detected something different. Like a pipe band silenced suddenly by punctures to their windbags, the sirens stopped in mid-skirl, which meant they had stopped at our doorstep. I looked out our first-floor window just in time to see the doors… Continue reading The police arrive
Back Home from Hospital
I was admitted to hospital in January 1949, before my 7th birthday, as covered in a previous post. When I reached home from hospital I was pleased to find I had a proper bedroom. Well, it was my baby sister’s room. Her cot had been moved to my parents’ room and I was assigned a… Continue reading Back Home from Hospital
Privacy—and Fearlessness
Rediscovered from perpetual-lab.blogspot.com, now defunct, published July 25th 2007 The essence of a blog, or so I’ve thought till now, is to speak openly to the entire world. Just as in a book, except that using book technology someone pays to enter the world within the covers. So why have I suddenly become “scared of… Continue reading Privacy—and Fearlessness
Released from hospital
It takes effort to wrestle the facts from memory. I thought that it was summer when I came out of hospital, and that it had been a six-month stay. But I was discharged in time to see a long queue outside a tobacconist / candy store in Harold Place, Hastings. The public record confirms that… Continue reading Released from hospital
Admitted to hospital
They put me in a bed with high-sided rails around it. I was offended at being put in what looked like a baby’s cot: me at nearly seven years old. I protested loudly and tearfully. If my first term at boarding-school had taught me anything, it was the importance of self-defence against ridicule from my… Continue reading Admitted to hospital
If I burn to death, they’ll be sorry
Drawing by Sally Faye Boarding school* for all its rigours was a respite from the neglect and loneliness of home. I find it difficult to speak of either, but our goal---yours and mine---is to be entertained and edified in the catharsis called human life. Merrion House School was a red-brick house once owned by Sir… Continue reading If I burn to death, they’ll be sorry
Ship of Dreams
I’m not finished with the mv Rangitata, which brought me as a four-year-old from Fremantle to Tilbury. The Rangitata hasn’t finished with me either. Our acquaintance was a six-week voyage sixty years ago but memories can still be triggered; the shuddering vibration from its engines, the smells of hot paint, engine oil, bleach, disinfectant, sewage.… Continue reading Ship of Dreams
Arriving in England
Suddenly I learned that I was not half Dutch, as I had believed for fifty years, but half Australian. I had spent my life wanting to belong somewhere: to feel a kinship, a sense of family, to be able to say, “These are my people. I am home.” I had resented England from the moment… Continue reading Arriving in England
How I learned the truth
(Continued from previous post) My mother’s beloved Singapore roadhouse was called The Gap: a prophetic name. After the war, it was nothing but a gap; one that she mourned forever and never really replaced. The gap in my life was a father. When I met him fifty years later, he admitted having been in the… Continue reading How I learned the truth
How my mother met her husband
Restored on April 22nd, 2026, from a copy without photos. I I’ll tell you about my mother and how she got to spend the War years in a Perth suburb called Bassendean by the Swan River in Western Australia. As for my father, he lived there already. She was born on 31st August 1909 in… Continue reading How my mother met her husband
Eager cupped hands
Having started my memoirs at age four, the sensible direction to go is backwards, till I have explained how I got to be born at all: you know, how my parents met and all that, which might involve telling their life stories too. I hope it won’t be too boring. The aim is to write… Continue reading Eager cupped hands
Early childhood
I suppose I was six months old in the photo but it might be good to start when I was four. Some of the biggest dramas of my life occurred then and in the next three years. So I have some vivid memories. In writing a memoir there’s a lot to be said for working… Continue reading Early childhood
Religion: conquest of fear?
There are many reasons for religion, but I think the top one is the conquest of fear. It’s at first sight extraordinary that you and I have never come across this thesis before. But . . . consider. Is it not true? Mind and body say different things. The body , that is, the ancient… Continue reading Religion: conquest of fear?
About writing and reading
Writing and Reading, a post from readingwithouttears.blogspot.com (only visible from archive.com Post: Stringing words together Twenty-five years ago, I bought The Art of Writing, a volume in the "Made Simple" series. It had been written ten years earlier and has an out-of-date feel now. So what? I feel out-of tune with the age too. Browsing through it… Continue reading About writing and reading
unfair to rats
I’ve been in a dark mood lately. We notice especially that which chimes with our state of mind. Out of a myriad details absorbed on a recent stroll, what remained when all the rest had been washed away in draughts of Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, was rat poison. Wherever food sends its aromas out… Continue reading unfair to rats
Litter
Litter used to enrage me. I passed some young men once just as one of them threw down a paper coffee-cup and they were getting into a car to drive away. I put the cup on the car roof and said politely, “This is yours, don’t forget it.” I wouldn’t have been as bold if… Continue reading Litter
Portmeirion
Why do people remember where they were when they heard of the death of President Kennedy? I have a mental snapshot of my precise surroundings when I heard of the deaths of King George VI, Marilyn Monroe, John Kennedy, John Lennon and Princess Diana. As to when Martin Luther King and Elvis Presley died, I… Continue reading Portmeirion
Dr Johnson and Blockheads
. . . he uniformly adhered to this strange opinion, which his indolent disposition made him utter: ‘No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.’ Numerous instances to refute this will occur to all who are versed in the history of literature. (Boswell) What would Dr Johnson think of us blogheads? “Blogheads not… Continue reading Dr Johnson and Blockheads
The Holy Ghost
Image from The Blake Archive To Paul from Vincent continued. And also to Jim. I felt uneasy after my last post, as if something had been left out. I continued to add comments as afterthoughts, but that did not fix the unease. Have you noticed that barely an hour goes past in our waking life… Continue reading The Holy Ghost
Unfair to Rats
This was written while I was working at Fujitsu in Bracknell. It was my custom to walk for an hour each lunchtime, and let thoughts flit through my brain, often composing a blog post in my head, or dictating it into my voice recorder. I've been in a dark mood lately. We notice especially that… Continue reading Unfair to Rats
The Burden of Gold
Anando was a favourite name of Ghetu's in his stories, many of which were based on his real life. I’d told Anando I might reconsider writing a book, but didn’t know how to go about it. He’s himself a writer of promise, burdened with talents yet to be uncovered for the world to see. We… Continue reading The Burden of Gold
The Madman’s Idea
rediscovered this post today. All these years later, I'm still as "ordinary", whatever that means, but can't tap stuff like this into my super-ergonomic keyboard Like a poor man suddenly gifted with gold, that’s burning a hole in my pocket, I am newly burdened with the riches of an idea, impatient to spend and be… Continue reading The Madman’s Idea
The “Nothing Girl”
Cute Trick 1945 - Art Frahm No blog-writer has to apologize for liberal use of the words “I” and “me”. It’s expected. But when you read mine, one-off or regular, you’ll be implicitly aware that my “I” is a lens for looking at the big mysteries of life. It is through the personal that I… Continue reading The “Nothing Girl”
the deck of cards
It was the glorious summer of 1960. I had just left school and the world was mine. I went to a seaside resort, Shanklin on the Isle of Wight. I knew nothing about women, girls I should say: I disregarded any over the age of 21. I got a job washing dishes at a hotel,… Continue reading the deck of cards
Profane influence
A reader of this blog and heaven-sent friend [Ghetu!], whose anonymity I shall defend to my last breath, unless he declares himself of his own accord, complains to me thus: I have decided to stop reading your blog. It has such a profane influence on me that I have stopped thinking in the way I… Continue reading Profane influence
Good and bad
Jim wrote a comment on my last piece, Human Animal. My response grew into this post. Thanks, Jim, for spotting what was missing! My piece for what it’s worth was partly a spontaneous outpouring though I admit a temptation to think of it as philosophy. I am glad you mention good and bad, Jim. These… Continue reading Good and bad
Human animal
It’s less than a week since I posted last but seems longer; and then it gets harder to try and distil the impressions and thoughts of several days into a short space. One thing: I wanted to lead you by the hand and show you “my” waterfall (100 yards from my door) but a photo… Continue reading Human animal
Stepping out
For several weeks I’ve had nothing new to say. Were this a movie, my wordlessness could be wordlessly conveyed. The scene opens to a man turning the platen of his typewriter to feed in a fresh white sheet of paper. Surrounding him are bookshelves on all sides. He stares at the blank sheet. After much… Continue reading Stepping out
Dishonour
I set out on my errands, hardly reached the street before ideas started to flow: something to ponder, something to write about. I swiftly reviewed the range of human belief systems: from burnt offerings on rugged mountain-tops to communal church attendance (booking a place in Heaven) to New Age superstitions, such as “we create our… Continue reading Dishonour
Liberation
In the last year I have been reminded, time and again, by smells and various other stimuli, of a period I spent in Holland when I was five. It was a young age for roaming alone in streets and woods, but that's what I did. I’d been dumped with an unwilling bogus “aunt” in a country… Continue reading Liberation
Duckling traffic
I went to Mama Iris’ for a breadfruit and a pound of yam. I’d taken the camera to snap a vent on the roof of the Baptist Church, next to the Mosque. A man was standing in the crossroads, in the traffic’s way, so I went to see why. Ducks were taking to water and… Continue reading Duckling traffic
Ce Que Vouldras
I can see out of my office window to an interesting landscape, though it’s blurred by a film of reflective sunscreen which they’ve stuck on the glass. It’s a view of a new residential development: little houses, roads, flags advertising the Marketing Suite, bulldozers, workers, drainage, dried mud. In the foreground is Peacock Farm, very… Continue reading Ce Que Vouldras
Pregnant thoughts
In my last I referred to my cellphone’s “voice recorder” facility. These are the 4 discrete thoughts that I recorded, I think within a total timespan of 5 minutes. 1) The aim of my lunchtime walks is in some manner to step out of time. This aim is always achieved. The result is an experience… Continue reading Pregnant thoughts
One thought fills immensity*
Every thought could fill a book. It’s the middle of the night now. My dream was so powerful and enigmatic that it woke me up marvelling. I was having a reunion with my first wife. We were laughing. Her face was radiant. We were very good friends. Why did we ever split up? Why did… Continue reading One thought fills immensity*
Aboriginal tirade
I defy every professor on the face of this spinning globe. Gentlemen, ladies, don’t feel threatened. You have chosen the gowns and the tenure, the books, the students, the research facilities and the world’s respect. What more do you want? You may think you define truth too, but this is what I don’t allow. No,… Continue reading Aboriginal tirade
Love to all
It has been wonderful to share with you, reading your comments and being drawn to visit your own blogs too, over almost a year. You have encouraged me to start a book, and so these posts won’t be the same any more. I can’t keep posting excerpts as in my last post because the writing… Continue reading Love to all
Easter Reverie
On Easter Sunday morning, on a quest for ginger, garlic and matches, I walk up Oakridge Road, on its sunny side. The reality all around me is more than I can take in: so many details! Everything has a meaning, but how can I unravel it? When I say “meaning” I probably mean… Continue reading Easter Reverie
On Coombe Hill
My favourite and only sport is frisbee. No rules, no training, no special clothing. The only equipment required is a plastic disk available from any general store. It holds an hypnotic attraction for participants and spectators alike. Above all, it’s not competitive. It’s co-operative: you adjust your throw so that the other person can catch… Continue reading On Coombe Hill
Mill Pond
There have not been many pictures decorating this blog lately. I almost feel like renouncing photography as a means of trying to capture the world’s beauty, because it cannot reproduce the glowing mysterious surfaces that I see. I have recently renounced being a therapist * What a liberation! On one hand, it was a vehicle… Continue reading Mill Pond
The angelic gift
An English Spring can be two-faced, like life itself. The sun warms you and the chill wind finds its way through your clothes, both at the same time. For a whole week I haven’t written here, but the will was there and a need to understand what’s been happening to me. I’ve been feeling uneasy; … Continue reading The angelic gift
Flowers of Grass
written after a lunchtime walk during my contract with Fujitsu at Bracknell (codename MaxiRam in Babylon Town) Perhaps there is no God to answer our prayers, listen to our anxious concerns, detect our hidden needs. Perhaps there’s a Creator who has shaped Nature through the interaction of physical laws, Chaos, improbability and long periods of… Continue reading Flowers of Grass
Musical Delirium
I’ve come down with “man-flu”. In a woman it would be a simple cold but in a man it’s tantamount to dying and requires tender concern from all the females around. Yesterday morning I drove early to Bracknell; conscientiously completed the vital tasks at Fujitsu on which the team depends. Then I found myself every… Continue reading Musical Delirium
The Bible as a Sacred Space
It was by accident that I discovered afresh the magic of the Holy Bible. I’ve come back to it purged and scoured of religiosity and the baggage of Christian reverence. My Bible is a fetish object, and I love every detail of its physicality: the edges gilt on pink, the blue silk bookmark, the flexible… Continue reading The Bible as a Sacred Space
Prophecies
I went to last summer’s sunflower field. It’s been flattened and lightly manured, a pervasive smell of old cow-dung in the air. Three sunflowers were still standing, much as in my last visit: skeletal, downcast. I needed hat and gloves for the field is exposed; the wind bore the sharp sting of sleet. The neighbouring… Continue reading Prophecies
Leaving Space on the Stage
A new male temp has joined the office. He’s large, grey-haired, about my age. He demonstrates in every word and action that an old clown is more pathetic than a young one. His sense of self-importance might have a certain charm if he were an eight-year-old. There is nothing that he does not boast about.… Continue reading Leaving Space on the Stage
Yellow
The lichen was on a wall outside the office. Vincent van Gogh taught me to see, especially yellow. And each day I teach myself to see, to hear, to smell and so on. Beyond all these senses is something "infinite", but that is just a word, how do we know what it means? Better to… Continue reading Yellow
Springtime
I’ve been meaning to post something since 28th February, when I drove to work in a hailstorm and the rain beat distractingly against the office window all morning. My lunchtime walk encountered three separate showers, but in between, the sunshine used the road as a mirror to dazzle everyone; and set up one of God’s… Continue reading Springtime
Pedestrian
The idea came to me whilst walking, as most of them do. Not that they start as ideas: more like impulses or feelings. The conversion into words is a mysterious process, none more than yesterday. My daily sojourn in Babylon Town, code name for where I work, begins to be less of an exile, more… Continue reading Pedestrian
Covenant of Water
I walk out early on Sunday morning, the streets deserted, washed clean from the rain, the pavements shining wet. In this Victorian part of town, with its small factories, chapels and workers’ cottages, the uneven pavements catch puddles. The steeper streets have rivulets in their gutters, leaving little pools afterwards, next to the smooth-worn granite… Continue reading Covenant of Water
Stairway to Heaven
MaxiRam Castle, as its fictitious name implies stands as a grim fortress against the skyline, eleven storeys high. The backside building in my illustration belongs to the same corporation but prettier. It's actually the Fujutsu headquarters in Bracknell but while working there I wanted to write anything freely. I nicknamed Bracknell 'Babylon Town'. Today I… Continue reading Stairway to Heaven
Managing my time on earth
In the Eighties, the Filofax was the thing to have. In the Nineties, time management courses using Filofaxes or equivalent were the answer to everyone’s problem. I still keep a Lotus Organizer program for storing phone numbers, copied ten years ago from a cute little IBM ThinkPad laptop whose keyboard opened out like a butterfly’s… Continue reading Managing my time on earth
Efficacious Rituals
MaxiRam Castle* is beginning to accept me as one of its own. I’d been entering this beehive via Reception, which has its ritual ways of making sure visitors are not wasps in disguise, whilst honouring them with attractive young ladies, wood, leather, a stylish lobby and real coffee. Now I come in by the other… Continue reading Efficacious Rituals
Fleeing the Coop
My two linked home computers* are dying, but on one I can read emails and on the other I can post here, though I haven’t bothered swapping the keyboards so it’s hard to type with my fingers fitting to the keys like claws. Normally I use a Microsoft “Natural” Keyboard, and once you’re used that,… Continue reading Fleeing the Coop
Witchcraft?
It’s been quite a week, the first I’ve worked full-time in an office for ten years. As it happens it’s the same company which took me on in 1965 (my first real job) and trained me in punched card equipment. These had been invented by Herman Hollerith and James Powers to speed up the US… Continue reading Witchcraft?
Battery Hen
Babylon town is not without footpaths, so I took my dictaphone for a walk and recorded some reflections in my lunch break. “My role is to provide computer support to an international company, let’s call it MaxiRam, to manage a logistical problem. I’m hoping that in return they will help manage my own logistical problem,… Continue reading Battery Hen
The Butterfly Phase
I love the idea of miracles and wish life to be filled with them: every day an Ebenezer Scrooge transformed into a kindly old man. So I won’t stop using the word, even though some people associate it with supernatural divine intervention. No wonder, if you put it that way, that rationalists protest, “There’s no… Continue reading The Butterfly Phase
Like Slingblade
I went to the doctor about two unrelated issues. The upshot was, no action or prescription. But I came out of there a new man, with a spring in my step etc, which lasted at least two hours. All week I'd been dreading it: the inevitable physical examination and its possible verdict. The aftermath could… Continue reading Like Slingblade
Watercress & Angels
I went to the doctor about two unrelated issues. The upshot was, no action or prescription. But I came out of there a new man, with a spring in my step etc, which lasted at least two hours. All week I'd been dreading it: the inevitable physical examination and its possible verdict. The aftermath could… Continue reading Watercress & Angels
Ritual and Reason
Visits to the sunflower field in Downley, mentioned three times before, have become a private ritual. These unharvested crops survive like invincible peasant crones. In Italian, the sunflower is the girasole or “turn-sun”. Its sun-worship is enabled by fibrous sinews in its "neck", made of certain cellulose molecules, and these don’t decay as rapidly as… Continue reading Ritual and Reason
Self-doubt
“Self-doubt is what distinguishes man from the other animals.” What do you think of that? I wish I’d started an anthology of such pronouncements about 60 years ago, because I’ve been hearing them forever and sometimes made them up myself, as above. I expect someone has already done it and all you have to do… Continue reading Self-doubt
Mission to Babylon
MaxiRam and Babylon Town were my code names respectively for the Fujitsu Corporation and the town of Bracknell, in Berkshire It is the fate of beautiful English towns to have been raped by mass ownership of the motorcar. You can see the ugly scars: inner-ring roads, underpasses, flyovers, clusters of roundabouts, out-of town retail parks,… Continue reading Mission to Babylon
Healing
It’s not the done thing to bore the company with ongoing bulletins of one’s ailment, but when dramatic recovery is the punch-line, we can risk stretching a point. A week ago, I was troubled in mind, as I recorded in this post. I lit a candle in the church, said a prayer for the world… Continue reading Healing
Rainy day window
Three telephone wires pass through the upper branches of a yew tree at the front, so I’m drafting this quick, before the tree’s violent agitations snap them and my internet connection. Like a child in a bygone age, I sit wide-eyed on a wooden stool, gazing out at the storm of gusting wind and rain.… Continue reading Rainy day window
The placebo effect
The doctor was reassuring: I could continue exercise but avoid further 4-mile walks for a bit. He scribbled a prescription for anti-inflammatory drugs, both pill and gel. In two or three days, he promised, I would be back to normal. The oracle’s verdict cheered me so much, I walked out of the surgery without limping.… Continue reading The placebo effect
Why pain?
Since my last I have hardly ventured outside due to a pain in my thigh. It’s not swollen and there is no bruise, just a pain sometimes severe, as when walking or standing. I suppose a muscle got pulled on Friday when I went up to that mysterious US base. Each day since recovering from… Continue reading Why pain?
Community
I walked into town on an errand, with a sense of loss in the back of my mind. “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,” said the poet. He might as well have said “Things end.” I had let go of something, not from necessity, but “for the best”. It was time to finish it for… Continue reading Community
Enough of priesthoods
Once again I am grateful to Alistair for his blog post which argues that blogs can offer us a window for awareness of inner wisdom. That's a brief paraphrase of Alistair’s argument, avoiding his use of “exoteric” and “esoteric” (“for the many”, “for the few”): it will become apparent why. He compares blogging with traditional… Continue reading Enough of priesthoods
Dawn today
Went walking in the park, whilst the sun started to light up the sky.
Let me just be who I am
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve chosen eccentricity as an alternative spiritual path. I was encouraged down this track by reading John Cowper Powys, who I consider to be the greatest novelist in English of the twentieth century, despite being hardly known. He was noted for obsessive fetishes, like baptising his walking sticks in rivers. I’d… Continue reading Let me just be who I am
Mozart and Angels
I’ve been preoccupied with engineering of late, getting my hands dirty on oily metal, instead of this digital thing, tapping on a keyboard to send digital signals, using digits of the hand, co-ordinated by the eye. Coincidentally, I've been watching The Train (1964), starring Paul Scofield, Burt Lancaster and Jeanne Moreau. The drama of the… Continue reading Mozart and Angels
Confession
Those who want to push their boundaries to the extreme are driven to do so by chronic dissatisfaction, a disease so common these days that it’s seldom diagnosed: but one whose effect on behaviour makes the world unsatisfactory. (paraphrase of the end of my last post) I’m sorry for writing something so confused and unsatisfactory… Continue reading Confession
The art of the possible
Much of what people call angelic inspiration could also be called coincidence, and that is fine by me. The Heavenly Host have not hired me as one of their PR consultants, so far as I know; which does not rule out the possibility that I have taken on the job unwittingly. At least, if we… Continue reading The art of the possible
Angelic Brightness
Simon Templar (“The Saint”) is the twentieth century Robin Hood. I have not encountered him on the screen and only read a few stories of his exploits, though I did recently thrill to the swashbuckling of Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood directed by Michael Curtiz in 1938. And now I’ve encountered a co-author of The Saint.… Continue reading Angelic Brightness
God is an Anarchist
I want to speak theologically, to say what I think about God and angels. But then, it’s a bit hard putting abstractions into words. No, that’s completely wrong. It is all too easy to put abstractions into words, and give them an imaginary reality. So I’m rather glad to find myself talking about bees and… Continue reading God is an Anarchist
Wasp honey
We’d had family over Christmas, and as luck would have it, just as they were leaving after two days and we were seeing them off, a couple of Karleen's friends arrived with a bag-full of drinks to spend the evening with us. To a solitary like myself, the boredom of exchanging inanities for several hours… Continue reading Wasp honey
Angels and us
At some point in the Christmas season the pathos converts to joy; just as grape juice needs only yeast and a little time to turn into wine. This is the Christmas miracle, repeated every year: “Peace, goodwill to men”. I used to think it was a supernatural thing, as though some power, God I suppose,… Continue reading Angels and us
In the days of low sun
High Wycombe is centred on a narrow river valley running east and west and surrounded by hills whose ridges and valleys radiate like spokes of a wheel. This morning I drove down Hamilton Road, which offers the broadest vista of the town as you descend the hill. It was soon after dawn with a hard… Continue reading In the days of low sun
Christmas Past
es, time can be a spiral, as Cream pointed out in her comment on my last. But it can seem like a circle of recurrence too, as the season evokes emotions long past. I’ve been wanting to write of life’s pathos for weeks now, but today it caught up with me, with an inescapable twisting… Continue reading Christmas Past
Time consumes; art distils
Time is like a forest fire, consuming everything in its path. Our most intense moments burn bright and hot, leaving nothing but fragile tatters of memory. Where would we be without art, snatching moments before they disintegrate into oblivion? What else but art, crucible for smelting the ore of our lives till we get a… Continue reading Time consumes; art distils
It hasn’t stopped raining …
It hasn’t stopped raining. Four inches were recorded yesterday in North Wales. Nobody would go out walking for fun in weather like this. I’m a nobody and I did. (thanks Kathy!) But more of that in my next. I’d bought a new bunch of flowers as instructed, despite my protestations to She Who Must be… Continue reading It hasn’t stopped raining …
Bleak Midwinter
Christmas is the most renowned of all the world’s festivals. It’s full of drama and contrast and potent symbols. Like many, I dread the tawdry commercialisation, sentimentality and ubiquity of this season’s trappings. But I see it differently now, having spent an entire year celebrating the daily advance and decline of Nature's rhythms in the… Continue reading Bleak Midwinter
Being a nobody
In the last post we were talking about ideas as wildfire: they burn and destroy, they have awesome power and are therefore dangerous. There is a school of thought very dominant in the world at present that power is intrinsically good. Needless to say this is an idea promoted exclusively by the powerful, just as… Continue reading Being a nobody
Like wildfire
I woke in the night and fell victim to a train of thought, so insistent in its claim to significance that the only way to shut it off was turn on a bedside light and scribble some words in my notebook, raw and unpolished. It did the trick, I returned to slumber and then in… Continue reading Like wildfire
Why do ladybirds have spots?
Why do ladybirds have spots? I don’t know, but I’ve just guessed the reason for their shape. It gives them a hemispherical hard-top, like a sports car, to conserve heat during hibernation. Unlike other insects which seek cosy cracks against the weather, they can choose quite exposed places. I found these little bugs clinging to… Continue reading Why do ladybirds have spots?
Fragile
The eastern sky glowed golden yesterday morning, over the chimney pots and the tower of All Saints’ Parish Church. I saw the outline of a hundred wheeling birds, swallows I think, gathering for their departure to North Africa. Later as I went walking, some half-denuded shrubs were full of birds chirping and hopping excitedly from… Continue reading Fragile
The human condition
In the spring and summer of this year 2006 I opened all my senses, not just the usual five, to Nature. I’m searching here for an adequate word, but Nature will have to do. I exposed myself to the sublime and intricate world of non-human life, its pathos and grandeur. I discovered that lambs and… Continue reading The human condition
What Grandma told me…
In 1964 I became friends with my landlord’s son when he came to paint the window-frames. I was suffering from depression and he recommended a psychoanalyst by the name of Theodore Faithfull, a white-haired gentleman in his eighties, the grandfather of Marianne Faithfull, who had just recorded her first hit, "As Tears Go By". (These… Continue reading What Grandma told me…
Maslow’s pyramid
The last few posts have been linked, in a kind of serial discussion. I try to keep individual posts to a tolerable length—about 500 words. This allows breaks for input of comments, which greatly influence the direction we take. It’s an interactive process, “as in life”, like a plant growing in its environment. It’s an… Continue reading Maslow’s pyramid
Travelling light
(Continued from "one Piece of Baggage") After writing the previous piece, I was fired up to continue immediately, but life intervened, & the mood is a little different now. I wanted to get feedback from others before putting in a tentative answer of my own to the question I had raised. Thanks, Imemine, Serenity and… Continue reading Travelling light
Baggage
If a sage today were to give one piece of advice, what would it be? What could best guide the lone seeker towards spiritual fulfilment whilst improving communal behaviour in our shared home, Earth? It’s easy to assume that the semi-mythical words of Buddha or Jesus are just as potent today as when first spoken… Continue reading Baggage
Abundance
Today, it’s the privilege of many, but not all, to adopt whatever beliefs and practices we wish, and we have the internet to provide us with the texts and the fellow-pilgrims. It’s an odd contrast with the Europe of 500 years ago, which I sketched in my last. Then, it was your town or village… Continue reading Abundance
Bible-reading martyrs
In the Middle Ages (I used to study Medieval History, so I know) the religious and secular realms---Church and State---would either be at war with one another or in some kind of alliance, as in “The Holy Roman Empire”, which was neither holy nor Roman. In matters secular, foreign policy and internal laws were backed… Continue reading Bible-reading martyrs
Virtual Gardens
In 1977 I won an essay competition, “Software in the Nineties” organised by Computer Weekly. The prize was presented by James Burke, a journalist and TV presenter specialising in the history of inventions. Afterwards I wrote to Stafford Beer, whose book Platform for Change I had recently read. Printed on paper of various colours, it included an… Continue reading Virtual Gardens
New Morning
In the last few days something happened to me. It felt as though “I have found my power”. In 1972 I read some shortened English version of Valmiki’s Ramayana, which if my memory is not distorted began with some yogis competing for “powers” (called siddhis) through fierce meditation, zealous fasting and strenuous renunciation. Looking back,… Continue reading New Morning
Young, heroic and lethal
Almost everyone is baffled by the strangeness of the world today. Not children, of course. They take as they find for adaptation is what they do. On the way to adulthood we choose either to swim with the tide, taking advantage of the way things are, or finding some token way to set ourselves against… Continue reading Young, heroic and lethal
Punishment or happiness
“Motivation is a major problem and one of the factors for people failing to meet their goals in life. So what do you do to get motivated?” I saw this question, with ensuing discussion, in a social media forum that I knew quite well (Ecademy, now defunct) Other participants didn't find it at all strange.… Continue reading Punishment or happiness
Powys and the dead frog
I don’t normally post extended quotes, but this—including the dead frog—expresses in more masterly language what I would have liked to write today. "When one considers how dependent we all are—especially such parasitic weaklings as artists, poets, writers, priests, philosophers—upon the hard one-track energies of the industrious producers and shrewd traders, it seems only fair… Continue reading Powys and the dead frog
The Sacred
It’s taken me a long road to get here, but once arrived it’s perfectly obvious: everyone has their own view of what’s sacred. That’s what causes all the trouble. My garbage dump is your sacred land, or vice versa. You can be “rational” and tell me I’m deluded for what I hold sacred. All the… Continue reading The Sacred
Cause of insanity
Update on December 13th 2020: You don't hear the term "mental illness" these days. It's called "mental health issues", and embraces every kind of grief, depression and general unhappiness, especially including effects of loneliness arising from precautions against the corona-virus pandemic I’ve been wondering today what mental illness is. There’s a propaganda campaign going on… Continue reading Cause of insanity
Hornet’s nest
Walking in Bradenham Woods, I saw a huge wasp – a hornet. It was hovering about near the base of two tree-trunks, which had holes in. The one thing I know about hornets’ nests is not to stir them up. I’d come to look for Grim’s Ditch, but all I saw was footpaths just like… Continue reading Hornet’s nest
Like water
Some people plan out their lives, and desire to impose their will upon the world. I’m of a different persuasion now, more like a cloud, whose nature is to expand and constantly change its shape, and be evaporated by the sun and recondensed by colder layers of air and charged with electrical energy and made… Continue reading Like water
Uncertainty
I published an elaborate post on Sunday and pulled it back later. Self-doubt, self-criticism, the most important instruments in the artist’s bag, and what is life, if not a work of art? A man walks down the street He says why am I soft in the middle now Why am I soft in the middle… Continue reading Uncertainty
Having no enemies
Many people supposedly educated don’t understand that the meaning of a word is in its use. Dictionary compilers know this of course, for their task consists in collecting usage as lepidopterists collect butterflies, pinning them to a board and labelling them. Dictionary compilers follow, not lead. So, as Alice learned, we are free to use… Continue reading Having no enemies
Spirit
I rediscovered this piece while writing my new post, “Money, health and wisdom are the three pillars of our existence,” says Alistair, whose blog, like Jim’s, often provokes me. My disagreement is immediate and vehement. He invites me to ride my bicycle in the tramlines, but I’m not going there. Instead, I’ll obey the impulse… Continue reading Spirit
Why Carry on Living
I approach this topic with trepidation, as it’s one which tends to get asked in negative circumstances only. In the last few days before Christmas, I was asked to stand in a shopping mall promoting a book. After five hours I felt I had lost the will to live. The book had my name on… Continue reading Why Carry on Living
Being ready
On Tim Boucher's blog someone says in a comment: The keys to spirituality could not be passed on from the individual revelation if not for what becomes known as religion. As the writer admits, spirituality begins with an individual revelation. Can the essence of that revelation be passed on? No, it has to be experienced… Continue reading Being ready
By their fruits
I will tell you how it seems to me. That should go without saying, for what else can I truthfully tell? Up to a certain time in childhood I was true to myself, because “I didn’t know any better”. Then I tried to learn the ways of my society, how to fit in, and was… Continue reading By their fruits
What is life?
I’ve lived long enough to see lots of changes: both in the world and in me. I’ve been astonished in recent months, especially on solitary walks through the countryside, letting memories flow as they please, to discover that in essence I am the same person as I always was. Same person? This is extraordinary. Had… Continue reading What is life?
Memorable Achievements?
we were living at 78b West Wycombe Road, the upstairs flat. We'd installed a table in a corner of the bay window to put our two newly-bought second=hand computers. I set up a website perpetual-lab.blogspot.com, and often drew inspiration by looking a the sky or the scenes below. Once again I am summoned to an… Continue reading Memorable Achievements?
Testament
Rain beats insistently against the windowpane. I look out at two instant rivers rushing down the sloping drive between this house and its neighbour. When I first put this computer in the corner of the room, it was to avoid the distraction of looking out through the windows on either side, but that seems foolish… Continue reading Testament
View from the Hill
I thought I might develop my "best", i.e. most "serious" ideas into a book. But as I'm addicted to blogging, I'd continue to use this space as often as possible, cultivating a wry, self-deprecating manner: for the interaction, for the moral support, a boost to a flagging confidence. The words for my writing, the best… Continue reading View from the Hill
The Pope & the Koran
It being Sunday, I heard a Christian service on BBC Radio 4, broadcast from a Church of England cathedral, so that its congregation could endorse the standard prayer: “Good morning, God. It’s us again, you remember, the righteous ones. Others may fail you but not us!” The theme for the service was World Peace, the… Continue reading The Pope & the Koran
All we ever need to know
Reposted August 7th 2022, with the following addition: "Learning is not just about acquiring knowledge. More important than reading, writing and arithmetic is learning what (u)not(/u) to do." Written way back when everything seemed so simple and fresh, and messages came unbidden out of a clear sky: "All we ever need to know is what… Continue reading All we ever need to know
“Things I just know”
Rescued from a Blogspot post published in September 2006 Jim says “Some things I just ‘know’ and believe in as fact without any proof.” He touches on a topic I wanted to speak about because it is vital to the understanding of all human culture: How we know what we know. I’ve written elsewhere that… Continue reading “Things I just know”
Hurried post
"The more personal, the more universal." I saw something like this on some comments to a blog, a while ago. This is what I have been struggling to formulate ever since I came across the works of John Cowper Powys, a great author who has yet to be discovered by most of the world’s discerning… Continue reading Hurried post
from Blogger 2
Thursday, October 25, 2007 An ordinary valley For some months now, I’ve been drawn to the ordinary. I can’t exactly explain why. Perhaps something has rubbed off from walking the streets in Babylon Town and in this narrow valley. I live not far from little river which sneaks behind factories, workshops and the common dwellings… Continue reading from Blogger 2
Two Vincents
There are a number of things puzzling me, and I don’t just mean how other people think and behave, and the consequences thereof in the visible world. I am puzzling to my own self. Siegfried commented on my last, à propos Vincent van Gogh, thus: He was being himself and being well-adjusted to society and… Continue reading Two Vincents
Pheasant
Where we live, there's a magnificent network of public footpaths and bridleways, allowing everyone to explore the Chiltern Hills. It would be be possible to roam even more widely, if it were not for various signs saying, “PRIVATE – please keep out”. These restrictions are to encourage the breeding of this creature—the pheasant. I found… Continue reading Pheasant
What is soul?
I have not been finding it easy to write about soul. I’m not interested in traditions, scriptures or beliefs. If I cannot know what soul is from direct experience, then why should I care about it? I liked what Jim wrote in his comment to Sunday’s blog: Soul is Pure desire for life. Even in… Continue reading What is soul?
On the Side of the Angels
In everyday life I act as though there is a power beyond Nature, that brings luck, answers prayers and sometimes sends miracles. When catastrophe strikes, I assume that in some way it is all for the best, at least in my own life and the small circle of those I know well. I accept that… Continue reading On the Side of the Angels
Sent to boarding-school
From an unhappy household I was sent to boarding school at the age of 6, as it happens on the day that my half-sister was born. I'd been told nothing, just taken there Out of this time, I spent nearly eight weeks in hospital with my leg in plaster — not a fracture, but a… Continue reading Sent to boarding-school
Digging in the Woods
I’ve never met policemen more relaxed and willing to chat than yesterday. A large area of the wood was cordoned off with blue incident tape, with a uniformed constable every few yards. They had taken off their helmets and ties, for it was evening and they’d been on duty since 4.30 am. Some were reading… Continue reading Digging in the Woods
Flat-Bottomed Clouds
What triggers the experience of magic I care not. For me it is immersion in Nature. Wild flowers, trees, caterpillars, hills, seashore, clouds. I had a guru who advised focusing on the breath as a way to enlightenment. It was boring, and though I did it for years and years, I can’t see what good… Continue reading Flat-Bottomed Clouds
Magic of day and night
Some years ago I had a vivid experience of the night world. The location was prosaic enough: Cherry Garden Lane in a leafy suburb of Folkestone, late November. But these labels apply to the ordered daytime world. At night, when I stumbled on it first, my footfalls echoed in the lamplit clearing of an archaic… Continue reading Magic of day and night
From a nest of terrorists (2)
The trouble caused by these terrorist plots goes on and on. While hand-cream is still used in this household without triggering major incident, something nasty nearly happened to me this morning. I was returning from the petrol station with a copy of the local paper. I learned that suspects have been arrested in every street… Continue reading From a nest of terrorists (2)
From a nest of terrorists
High Wycombe is no different now that it has been exposed as the home of several “monsters of evil”, who wanted to “commit mass murder on an unimaginable scale”. It’s still a place where races and religions work seamlessly together. Good neighbourliness is the norm. This morning my car’s battery ran down again. So I… Continue reading From a nest of terrorists
Blackberry jam
Karleen succumbed to a flu-like virus yesterday and stayed off work. As her resident physician I prescribed aspirin, white rum, limes and honey. Later, as a booster to these medications, I went to get chocolate. Walking by the scenic route to the supermarket — over the hill instead of round it — I took a… Continue reading Blackberry jam
Woodland day trip
I’ve spoken a couple of times in this blog about “Cosmic Ordering”, though I prefer to use the less presumptuous phrase “Asking the Universe”. It always works for me, but I don’t ask for much, being generally so contented that I don’t want to change anything. A few weeks ago I was feeling frustrated with… Continue reading Woodland day trip
Outsider
I glory in my sure-footedness, and the comfort of a buttoned cardigan†, on a chilly August day, walking through a stubble-field in a slow insistent drizzle. My path takes me behind a row of sturdy houses. Their backyards look untidy from the rear, with canvas chairs left outside to get wet, children’s toys left strewn… Continue reading Outsider
What makes me uneasy
Today I am following on from my previous post and the comments made by Darius and Rama. They felt that it did not really matter what someone believes. Perhaps they take the view that there is some inner Truth ready to be found which will put an end to all divisive dogmas. Perhaps. But we… Continue reading What makes me uneasy
Getting things done
I walked to town on a mission to get Karleen's gold chain fixed, and tried two jewellers: “Do you do repairs?” They consulted their price lists. The first said £15. The second said between £12 and £15. “The chain cost £14 new,” I explained. They shrugged. I could have tried a Pakistani jeweller. He might… Continue reading Getting things done
Back streets, oily hands
There is a conversation going on here and here, perhaps everywhere, about goodness. I’m aware that the discourse in the US is frequently about good and evil. Bush refers to evil terrorists not just as individuals but as an Axis of Evil. Meanwhile, America is considered evil, as Irish humorist Dylan Moran puts it, by “the… Continue reading Back streets, oily hands
Wake up!
Petrol costs more than gasoline but it's still too cheap. They are of course two names for the same thing. Gasoline (US) has always been cheaper than petrol (UK). We don't have our own oil-wells. When the price really goes up it will hurt, but life on Earth will improve. Communities will be restored, obesity… Continue reading Wake up!
Image and Ecstasy
Originally published on perpetual-lab.blogspot.com After the suicide of my old camera, now is the short period of mourning before the arrival of a new one. Meanwhile, I borrowed 6 books on painting in pastel from the public library, not in order to “learn how to do it properly”, but to see if there were any… Continue reading Image and Ecstasy
Responsibility
The Simpsons is hard on religion. Poor Ned Flanders thinks it his Christian duty to persist in loving-kindness to Homer, who’s unfailingly rude and never returns things he’s borrowed. His verbal tics (“Okely-dokely!” Home Sweet-diddly Home!”) are the only evidence of his suppressed urge to go berserk against such an unlovable next-door neighbour. What about… Continue reading Responsibility
Death of a camera
Yesterday I managed to upset a seagull. This morning my digital camera committed suicide. I dare say an electrician would have told me not to replace the batteries whilst it was connected to a 3-volt adaptor, but this is merely a rational explanation, and electricians are notoriously cautious. They are to be trusted as much… Continue reading Death of a camera
Bledlow Ridge
I'm just learning how to use these chalks (oil pastels), but was quite pleased at the result. We sat on a rug with a hedge behind us, and I peered over the ripening wheat field—in case you can't recognise it— to view this scene.
Seagull territory
I posted this in July 2006 . Since then the seagulls have got still more arrogant, the red kites wheel and mew in every sky, the crows and pigeons and magpies make love and war our fence-tops. You need only look out the window. And what is it with the magpies—and rats? Has the coronavirus… Continue reading Seagull territory
Ripening
Hayden reports here on translations from the Aramaic, where “unripeness” was rendered, supposedly, as “evil”. On Sunday morning the radio (BBC Radio 4) told the story, with interviews, of a woman who runs a retirement home for chickens. They’ve worked at laying eggs in battery or free-range farms, and their residual value is too low… Continue reading Ripening
Sex Therapy book
I've no idea where this snippet came from, perhaps this book, which I've written about in another post Sexual problems are not necessarily a reflection of a relationship's quality. They may, however, affect this if the couple are unable to manage any resulting anxiety, shame or distress. Thus, the 'problem' may have been easily fixed,… Continue reading Sex Therapy book
Sex Therapy
The other day I called at a friend’s house to give her a book and she gave me one in return, by a sex therapist. Before you wonder the significance of this exchange, I hasten to add that the book’s co-author, a professional writer, is a friend of hers, and presumably had left her with… Continue reading Sex Therapy
Caterpillar
On a warm but overcast day, we went up Lodge Hill. With my box of pastels and a sketch pad, I felt like Vincent van Gogh going out to do a day’s work. Before I knew its real name, we used to call it Butterfly Hill, because in August particularly it was full of lepidoptera.… Continue reading Caterpillar
Zorba the Greek
I’m glad not to have yet seen the film of Zorba the Greek, for it is the book which speaks to me, as I savour a few pages for the first time each day. The film must be full of colour and atmosphere and dancing and dulcimer-playing, but Kazantzakis in the book covers spiritual search… Continue reading Zorba the Greek
The Cosmic Ordering Service
Updated on August 28th, 2025, as Ottokar's is sadly no more I have written on this blog about how I’ve beamed out my needs to the Universe, and had them promptly delivered, like pizza to the doorstep. I was careful not to join the chorus of New Age coaches who proclaim, “You, too, can learn… Continue reading The Cosmic Ordering Service
A Grave Spot Unearthed
X marks the spot. PH: "public house" (Crown Inn) A few weeks ago, Karleen and I had taken a cross-country walk near the ancient Buckinghamshire village of Penn. The Penns of Penn were reputed to be closely connected to William Penn of Pennsylvania, but in any case many religious dissenters from these parts had emigrated… Continue reading A Grave Spot Unearthed
Seeing Immortal Beings
I’ve said a few things here about “spirit”, but the other day I felt its reality. I was walking up Desborough Avenue to the intersection with West Wycombe Road. People in their cars were waiting for the lights to change. Pedestrians were on their way to the doctor’s surgery or the clinic next door which… Continue reading Seeing Immortal Beings
Intimations of Immortality
(updated 23/8/17) I recall a single moment exactly ten years ago. I wrote about it then, while it was fresh in my mind. I said I’d learned something and would never be the same again. I couldn’t express it very well for others to read, but it’s helped to remind its author of the occasion.… Continue reading Intimations of Immortality
blog, blag, brag
Dictionary.com (American) does not have an entry for the word blag, a useful English slang word with a wonderful range of meanings: “BLAG” – British slang for bluff. “Blagging” – pretending to know all about a subject, attempting to impress or con others by using verbal gymnastics. In this sense “blag” means the same as… Continue reading blog, blag, brag
The price of civilisation
While I was living in Jamaica, I managed to help earn a few pennies by typing and editing literary and academic texts. One such was a student’s philosophy dissertation. She was not an agile writer or an original thinker but she did put together some others’ work in a coherent way, to the effect that… Continue reading The price of civilisation
Personal working assumption
Though I am always ready to challenge religions and New Age therapies, I run my life on two working assumptions: 1) To get what I need, I send out a message to the Universe. 2) Unease is Nature’s way to get me to do something. Re (1): Time and again, I have found that as… Continue reading Personal working assumption
Angels and Grace
Personally, I’m glad to be able to simply say “What happens, happens”. I don't need metaphysical explanations such as Inshallah (if God wills it). Or poetic extravagances like the fall of Lucifer from the angels to end up as Satan, to explain the existence of evil in the world I've always thought there's more to… Continue reading Angels and Grace
Lust for Life
I wanted to write something inspired by Darius’ comment “… most of us have psychological stuff that interferes with getting in touch with the depth” but had no opportunity to post anything till now. Who in the world can be classed as normal, I wonder? Jung, in his Memories, Dreams, Reflections, ascribes the theory of sexuality… Continue reading Lust for Life
Dream lesson
A dream : I’ve started a new contract job, so the environment and people are all new to me. The lead consultant explains my task. He’s very bright, one of those impressive all-rounders with a “first-class brain”. I find myself speaking intelligently to him, so I feel it will go OK, despite the task being… Continue reading Dream lesson
Following the Scent
A few weeks ago I started posting these notes in public, not knowing where they would lead. Like a dog sniffing a trail, straining at its master’s leash, it seems to have led towards questioning “spirituality”. I’m not sure I like the word. I haven’t reconciled it with that mackerel on the slab that gazed… Continue reading Following the Scent
The word “spiritual”
Darius commented on my previous post, thus: That response to nature is fascinating to me too. It seems as though while a lot of us have it, some don’t. You almost never hear the spiritual importance of nature brought up in discussions about preserving the environment. “Nor should the spiritual importance of nature be brought… Continue reading The word “spiritual”
Ducks and Drakes
There’s a kind of spring weather in England we call “April showers”, when the weather laughs and cries alternately, sometimes offering bursts of snow or hail, skittish as a lamb with blue sky and bright cloud Some of this can happen in May too, as on a morning where I braved its occasional tears and… Continue reading Ducks and Drakes
Memories, Dreams, Reflections
"I am reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections by CG Jung, a work I had avoided till now, partly because I felt that the Jungians were the most terrible idolaters on the planet. However, this is mostly not Jung’s fault, just as being turned into a god was mostly not Jesus’s fault. The beauty of reading Jung… Continue reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections
In praise of inchoate reality
An early April sky amid the Chiltern Hills Inchoate: not yet made complete, certain, or specific : not perfected: imperfectly formed or developed. What we are accustomed to call “reality” is an interpreted reality, one which accords with a culture, and can be communicated in words, and shared. Our culture may assure us that reality… Continue reading In praise of inchoate reality
Spring, or the talk that never was
26th April Spring is the most important thing happening here. I’ve been watching the progress of chestnut blossom at the back of our upstairs flat. There’s no garden, just a communal car park, then a fenced-off slope up to the railway. This young tree hangs over the fence, offering itself as a measure of the… Continue reading Spring, or the talk that never was
Is it just evolution?
Am I the only devotee of chestnut blossom in its close-up form? My interest started in about 1992, when I observed the phenomenon in Brent Lodge Park. After that, an illness prevented me from going out and about much. Walking the earth and admiring the handiwork of its creator (so to speak) became a defiant… Continue reading Is it just evolution?
Sacrifice and Conscience
updated on 6th December 2024 In an “utterly insane world ruled by a capricious and indifferent deity”*, the only thing we can keep swept clean and fresh is our own doorstep. To follow our own conscience is a tragi-comic defiance of the gods. It is the Absurd, symbolised by Albert Camus in his Myth of… Continue reading Sacrifice and Conscience
New Age Beliefs?
A blogging friend lists 21 characteristic beliefs defining that rather journalistic label “New Age”. Her question is, “How many of these do you agree with?” My answers are in italic. The following are some common — though by no means universal — beliefs found among New Agers:* All humanity, indeed all life, everything in the… Continue reading New Age Beliefs?
Last Temptation
I finally got to watch Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ, after wanting to see it ever since it first came out in 1989. Wonderfully poetic fiction and superior to the official fictions so jealously guarded by the churches. As for the Da Vinci Code, I got as far as opening it in a bookshop a while… Continue reading Last Temptation
Learning How to Live
We don't learn how to live any more. So much has gone or is going. We are losing handwriting, spelling, grammar, walking as a mode of transport, playing on the streets. We are unwittingly performing experiments on our children, for we don’t know what the outcome will be, for them or the world. Does this… Continue reading Learning How to Live
Suffusion of yellow
Landlord came with 2 tall Poles who piggy-backed up into the loft space and swiftly hatched a plan to mend my leaking roof. So then I went to find a field of yellow (oilseed rape), and its neighbour (such a profound green - the young leaves of corn). A deer with big rump and white… Continue reading Suffusion of yellow
Wet day
It's wonderfully rainy today and I want to get out there in boots and raincoat, investigating this brilliant yellow field of oilseed rape that we saw yesterday evening from Hughenden Park, whilst wandering through budding buttercups. I love that blue-green crop adjacent to the yellow of the rape, too. But I have to stay in… Continue reading Wet day
England in Spring
26th AprilSpring is the most important thing happening here. This is how far a chestnut blossom at the back of the house has progressed. I'll give you an update soon. I love Spring, this year particularly, because it mirrors my own joy. Someone offered me this link on cheerfulness. I can't decide if it's wise… Continue reading England in Spring
What I owe to Mr Dufeu
Looking that mackerel in the eye, doubting its immortality, accepting the procession of evolution from fish-like ancestors to me, was another step towards scepticism—as to any afterlife existence I might expect. Religion has no direct authority over my beliefs, but one absorbs vague assumptions from the culture one’s brought up in. For sixty years some… Continue reading What I owe to Mr Dufeu
Do I have an immortal soul?
Looking that mackerel in the eye, doubting its immortality, accepting the procession of evolution from fish-like ancestors to me, was another step towards scepticism—as to any afterlife existence I might expect. Religion has no direct authority over my beliefs, but one absorbs vague assumptions from the culture one’s brought up in. For sixty years some… Continue reading Do I have an immortal soul?
Do fish have souls?
The dead mackerel fixed me with one cold eye. I had it on the table to slit its belly, take out its guts. We had much in common: eye, heart, spine and entrails. Its gills equate to my lungs: alternative ways to put oxygen in the blood. When I die my corpse will be just… Continue reading Do fish have souls?
To the Reader
What you see started off as playing with the Blogger software, to see what it could do. So it’s an experiment, but not limited to technical stuff. What I write may be fact or fiction, anything I freely choose; until you add a comment, and it may be a dialogue. Who knows where it might… Continue reading To the Reader
if a white feather falls in front of you
The Magic Significance of White Feather is deeply rooted in spiritual beliefs and traditions. They are often seen as symbols of purity, peace, and divine presence. Here are some of the key spiritual meanings associated with white feathers: • Messages from Angels: White feathers are often interpreted as signs from angels, offering comfort and reassurance during… Continue reading if a white feather falls in front of you
the beggar gives without my asking
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
Started on Tuesday December 23rd, 2025. As ever. I look for illustrations to brighten the text, and discovered this of Oxford's "dreaming spires" on my computer This winter-eve is warm; Humid the air; leafless, yet soft as spring, The tender purple spray on copse and briers; And that sweet city with her dreaming spires. She… Continue reading Knocking on Heaven’s Door
The Mindless Maid
We owe the word robot to a play by a Czech, Carel Copek, staged in 1920. The underlying concept however was far older. Indeed, ten years previously a one-act play was published about an automatic housemaid—Mechanical Jane. Such little dramas as this were intended as amateur productions for the drawing room; they did not deal… Continue reading The Mindless Maid
Mechanical Jane
A Play in One Act for three ladies By M. E. BARBER Copyright, 1910, by Samuel French* CHARACTERS Miss Priscilla Robins .. A middle-aged, angular Spinster. Miss Tabitha .. Her Elder Sister. Jane .. A Mechanical Servant. Scene—A Sitting room in a Suburban Villa. MECHANICAL JANE Tabitha is discovered hovering round a small table on… Continue reading Mechanical Jane
I Leap Over the Wall
I bought this book in 1994 from a bookshop in Folkestone. The proprietor was a very old man, Above the Introduction, he'd pencilled 10p, a bargain like the three or four other I bought at the same time, each of unique interest. Why did a nun leap over the wall? The page below says enough,… Continue reading I Leap Over the Wall
The Modern Encyclopaedia for Children
Around 1951, while I was at Merrion House Preparatory School at, I acquired this book. I never knew where my things came from. They might have been dropped off by my grandfather in his 1930s car. This one was mostly boring, told me things I had no context for, but these pages were fascinating me:… Continue reading The Modern Encyclopaedia for Children
