I 've discovered a draft post, below. It 's dated April 2nd, 2025. Looking up my handwritten journal of that date, I find this page: I've been fascinated by the disparity between two books I've been reading: Colin Wilson's Outsider and Revelations of Divine Love, by Julian of Norwich. She's best known to the world… Continue reading Through Pain to Ecstasy or Suicide
Category: pain
With Alacrity
Suffering is real. You have a guardian angel to guide you. Just be receptive. I call mine Alacrity, and see her as female. Instead of wallowing in whatever, she is the epitome of eagerness. Inspired by Connecting and Aligning with Your True Self: An Interview with Coach Luce Campagna From the above blog post: “Moreover,… Continue reading With Alacrity
Gravity and Grace, by Simone Weil
See this article: The Famous Book she Never Wrote Excerpts: Every natural impulse of the soul is governed by laws analogous to physical gravity: except only grace. We must always expect things to turn out as if pulled downwards by their own weight, unless the supernatural comes into play. There are just two forces in… Continue reading Gravity and Grace, by Simone Weil
Delicious, not Precious
Contemplating mortality is not about being prepared to die, it is about being prepared to live. And that is what I am doing now, more freely and more fully than I have since childhood. The cancer has not made life more precious - that would make it seem like something fragile to lock away in… Continue reading Delicious, not Precious
Just like that
This is an impromptu rant, just to get things started. Perhaps meaningless and incoherent. From someone who used to support the #metoo movement—not any more.
Taking the Bull by the Horns
I’m writing this post in pen and ink† while my computer’s still at the mender’s, being restored from the wrecking job I did on its data. An ignorant computer user could never have ruined it so thoroughly, but I’ve proved the old adage, that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The more you know,… Continue reading Taking the Bull by the Horns
On Further Consideration
I wasn’t satisfied with my last: not in a state of mind to do justice to its topic. Stepping out the door into sunshine or cloud, stripped of the conceptual paraphernalia that normally clothes our consciousness, I marvel at what it is to be human. It’s like being in a strange and wonderful land with… Continue reading On Further Consideration
The interconnectedness of all things*
* as in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, by Douglas Adams I’m glad I went to the doctor about my backache. I feel much better now. I learned a great truth which I can’t wait to share with you. It wasn’t the doctor who revealed it, quite the reverse. But he was the catalyst—the midwife!—to… Continue reading The interconnectedness of all things*
The Centaur
Three years ago I cured myself from a serious chronic illness; and changed my life as a result. Only now am I able to put in simple words what happened. The rider started to respect the horse. Instead of “cogito, ergo sum”, the centre of gravity became body-wisdom, the wondrous human animal. Both are joined… Continue reading The Centaur
Don’t try this at home
I nearly swallowed some extra strong bleach. I can tell you how it happened, but I don’t know how it could happen. Perhaps I unwittingly broke a law of physics. You can’t do that? Tell me what law says you can’t break a law of physics! I don’t know of a law of Nature that… Continue reading Don’t try this at home
The angry caning
From Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! I’ve hinted that my headmaster, Montague Brummell-Hicks, viewed me as a boy in need of control and correction. He seemed to have dark suspicions of my character and this irked me from the earliest days, for I saw there were other boys, more handsome and sunny of disposition, whom… Continue reading The angry caning
Admitted to hospital
They put me in a bed with high-sided rails around it. I was offended at being put in what looked like a baby’s cot: me at nearly seven years old. I protested loudly and tearfully. If my first term at boarding-school had taught me anything, it was the importance of self-defence against ridicule from my… Continue reading Admitted to hospital
Musical Delirium
I’ve come down with “man-flu”. In a woman it would be a simple cold but in a man it’s tantamount to dying and requires tender concern from all the females around. Yesterday morning I drove early to Bracknell; conscientiously completed the vital tasks at Fujitsu on which the team depends. Then I found myself every… Continue reading Musical Delirium
Healing
It’s not the done thing to bore the company with ongoing bulletins of one’s ailment, but when dramatic recovery is the punch-line, we can risk stretching a point. A week ago, I was troubled in mind, as I recorded in this post. I lit a candle in the church, said a prayer for the world… Continue reading Healing
The placebo effect
The doctor was reassuring: I could continue exercise but avoid further 4-mile walks for a bit. He scribbled a prescription for anti-inflammatory drugs, both pill and gel. In two or three days, he promised, I would be back to normal. The oracle’s verdict cheered me so much, I walked out of the surgery without limping.… Continue reading The placebo effect
Community
I walked into town on an errand, with a sense of loss in the back of my mind. “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,” said the poet. He might as well have said “Things end.” I had let go of something, not from necessity, but “for the best”. It was time to finish it for… Continue reading Community