The unfairness started with Adam & Eve

Before that apple business, Adam and Eve were buddies, gambolling around the Garden with the other animals like a couple of kids and if they had sex at all, it was innocent sex. Then sly old Satan, dressed up as a snake, wriggled up to Eve, handed her the apple and aroused her curiosity with a seductive ‘WOW. You have never tasted anything like this!’ So she bit. And she tasted. And suddenly Eve looked at Adam and no longer saw her buddy: she saw a god — the very first WORSHIPABLE MAN. And she was well and truly hooked. And Eve said to Adam: ‘Have a taste of THIS!’ And Adam tasted. And he felt a warm, sexy power racing through his veins. And he looked into Eve’s eyes and saw what she saw: himself as a god. And he fell in love with his own reflection.

The rules of war change over time, same with the battle of the sexes. Do men have the advantage? Should they be made to fight with one hand tied behind their backs? The Joy of Letting Women Down reminds us that Nature is unfair. Should women get angry, get even? No, we should all laugh together, as Natalie D’Arbeloff decided to do, having been “an expert on the subject … for most of her adult life who doesn’t regret a minute of it”. And so she produced what must be the funniest illustrated book of the century to date. Its publication made little impact when it came out. Never mind, there’s never been a better time than today for a lighter view of this age-old topic.

A blurb on the wrapper calls it a “politically incorrect but otherwise totally accurate manual”. Accurate, yes: not biased for or against feminism. “Manual”? Yes, it’s addressed to the would-be womaniser, revealing the secrets of how to get away with maintaining a bevy of females bound to you helplessly by lust and jealousy. It warns him of enemies, male and female, who never cease to plot his comeuppance. It helps him organize his business and pleasure—and mix the two! It enlightens him on how to juggle relationships with wife, regular lovers and casual encounters, while minimizing threats to himself.

I’m sure there are many types of man, but she deals with two: the Worshipped Male (WM) and the Reliable Male (RM). Women are allured by the WM hoping he’ll morph into an RM. Good luck with that. Meanwhile the available RMs bewail their lack of allure. They struggle to find one woman to see them as a god. I guess there are women too who wait for a man some day to worship them, but it has no help to offer in that sad situation.

What then is it? Funny for sure, but too honest and clear-eyed to play for mere laughs. She accepts that the unfairness is built-in. If I may paraphrase: our species has evolved to produce two kinds of men: conquerors and plodders. Women evolved as nest-builders and nurturers; some have that single goal from childhood, others remain wide-eyed, with antennae that twitch at the approach of high-achieving sperm-bringers (=conquerors). Of course this is over-simplified, as the author duly warns in her Introduction:

Sweeping statements will be made throughout the book.

We must face the fact that evolution has no moral rules. That’s where society’s norms come into play, setting bridle and reins upon our genetic inheritance, which is unlikely to mutate radically any time soon. Accordingly, The Joy doesn’t make judgement, there’s enough of that about. It helps us see and understand.

The writing is well enhanced by inventive illustrations sprinkled liberally so we never get more than two pages of text without being entertained by little naked cartoon figures, so expressive in features and gesture. One’s reminded of some of the best children’s books written and illustrated by the same person, such as St Exupery’s Little Prince; Beatrix Potter’s Tale of Peter Rabbit. Of course, “The Joy” is squarely aimed at adults, but I could imagine children, made curious by puberty, learning things about adulthood their parents might be in no position to admit. She’s not really leading anyone astray, just opening our eyes to what is.

Will it turn any innocent male into a libertine, Don Juan, Lothario? An interesting question. It’s certainly not intended as a self-help book, but framed as a treatise to aid the Worshipped Male in his quest “to get away with it”. As the blurb says:

Have you ever wondered why the womaniser is never short of willing women? Natalie D’Arbeloff reveals, for the first time ever, all the carefully guarded secrets of the worshipped male.

It’s not my task to reveal those secrets here. You’ll have to read all 160 pages in order to find out. I was amazed to discover the journey was never a chore, always a joy.