Ecstasy and unreason

Posted on by Vincent

The single-minded pursuit of ecstasy — that’s what my life is for. Perhaps this is not for everybody, but it’s the only thing that works for me and I’m glad I realised it whilst I still have time. I’ll be resuming my memoirs soon, when things (never mind what) are straightened out a little. The aim of those memoirs is to trace that fugitive golden thread of ecstasy in my life, amongst all the confusions and humiliations of growing-up — a process which is still far from over today.

I never understood why my life was so random: why I took major decisions against all reason and suffered in consequence. I bought and sold property at the wrong time. I married the wrong women, followed the wrong guru (not that I believe in a right one), took up the wrong career. For in my heart of hearts I knew that none of these things mattered. To swoon over drifts of fallen leaves in Autumn — as I did today, I wish I could have taken snapshots — is worth more than fortunes won or lost, in my estimate.

I was pleased by this photo taken yesterday from my upstairs window, for it showed me more than I saw with the naked eye! It speaks eloquently in a way that I thought only laborious painting could do, in pastel or water-colour  (if only I had the time and patience). I had wanted to buy one of those houses on the hill, but the valley is good enough, because it lets me see the hill, and the “Alleluia!” of those windows as they catch the setting sun.

13 thoughts on “Ecstasy and unreason”

  1. Thanks to all who commented on my last. I've replied to all. There were some other posts in October and September which I have pulled. But I'll make it up to you.

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  2. dear vincent,

    i believe that you have the spiritual power to come in terms with whatever life throws at you. i am sure, you must have looked back in disgust, but never repented.

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  4. Magnificent pic with many possibles embedded in it, I love the upper portion, tree limbs and houses beyond, especially and that for some very special use behind some superimposed human activity like you and interior with it behind you/in front of you, excellent possibilities.

    I also like the glory of the light in the lower windows reflections, that too could serve many compositional operations.

    Alone, it is magnificent!

    Good luck with your ectasy, there is some tremendous opportunities all around, the world can be very high some times.

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  5. “trace that fugitive golden thread of ecstasy in my life, amongst all the confusions and humiliations of growing-up—a process which is still far from over today.”

    I wonder if it is the thread that is fugitive….after all it is always there waiting for us to discover it….perhaps it is us who are the fugitives?

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  8. Paul, Jim and Hayden: thanks for the comments on the pic.

    Each day as the sun gets lower (when there is sun) the scene on the hill is different, and each day, I can't really grasp it unless I magnify it with a photograph. Not that there is time to be looking out of the window that much!

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  9. Robert, so glad you started a blog again. I'm interested in the point of view you reveal in your comment: it's similar to the one you reveal in your first post.

    How can I know if the golden thread is always there waiting for me to discover it? that would imply some belief system. Yes, if it were true then I might be a fugitive from it. But that would be to adopt a point of view which was away from the centre of my being.

    I can only see from where my eyes are. My eyes are the centre of the only world I am able to see. And I cannot know that I am the fugitive, or that I turn my back on something which is always there: for that would be to discard experience in favour of belief.

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  12. It's a variety of crab-apple (prunus)I think, I suppose they could be made into jelly. But if that were the case the birds would be interested and they don't appear to be.

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