Confession

“Those who want to push their boundaries to the extreme are driven to do so by chronic dissatisfaction, a disease so common these days that it’s seldom diagnosed: but one whose effect on behaviour makes the world unsatisfactory.” (paraphrase of the end of my last post)
I’m sorry for writing something so confused and unsatisfactory in itself. I’ve been spending a couple of days trying to understand what I meant, and how to move on, whilst in the process drafting many words, most of which are more fun than this post and which I hope to publish soon.

The world is unsatisfactory of course, always has been and always will be. Its unsatisfactoriness is not just the backdrop to life but permeates the script, the actors and the very stage itself. When has our species not been preoccupied with making it (the part we could see at any rate) a better place?

There are two schools of thought. “Improve the world with justice, organisation and technology” is one of them. “Improve my own behaviour and awareness” is the other. The first is material, the second is spiritual.

I mean no disrespect to the spirit by using the simple word “awareness”. It embraces our sense of Allah, Buddha-nature, the Holy Ghost, so many kinds of worship, prayer and votive offering. It’s clear that awareness and moral behaviour are closely linked, as indeed we find in all religions; though no religion is actually needed.

Why, therefore, do we see “the world’s problems” as so complicated—in our common, non-specialised discourse I mean? Obviously justice, organisation, technology, behaviour and awareness are each subjects of immense many-branched complexity, especially if we are involved in them professionally. Are there no simple answers? Perhaps I spend too much time on what I think others are doing wrong, instead of my own life. I occupy a tiny “footprint” on this beautiful Earth, but this gives me enough responsibility, enough complexity: to run my own life properly.

Why did I mean, placing blame for the world’s perennial ills on those who want to push their boundaries to the extreme? Sheer prejudice, I’ll confess it to you. It was the view of a man in retirement, a pedestrian by choice, who is passed on the road by younger men at the wheel of expensive cars vibrating to the beat of massive sound systems. He asks himself “How can they afford this annoying tin on wheels? Do they sell drugs for a living? Do they pay their dues to society? Do they feel ecstasy of soul?” He doesn’t know, of course. “Do they spoil my life?” Not at all, except where he sets his heart against them, and generally rants about what he doesn’t like in today’s world. Then he definitely robs himself.

That feels better. Thanks for your patience in hearing my confession.