From an unhappy household I was sent to boarding school at the age of 6, as it happens on the day that my half-sister was born. I’d been told nothing, just taken there Out of this time, I spent nearly eight weeks in hospital with my leg in plaster — not a fracture, but a bone infection acquired during the holidays from a deep cut on my knee. When I returned to school I was not in the least concerned about falling behind in class. I was so far advanced in reading and writing that it was a relief when the others had some time to catch up a little. (Sometimes, for comfort, I would try to perform badly so as not be top of the class.) But my poor performance at the cricket nets, both bowling and batting, was now put down to my “accident”. I seized on this excuse and stopped trying so hard at team games, for I had no interest in them. I continued to read instructional texts from the school library by famous cricketers, but on the field I was dreamy to the point of total inattention, seduced by clouds, birds, wildflowers, grasshoppers, the smell of new-mown grass: the whole sleepy ambience of an English summer’s day. In every available break during the day, the other boys would play informal games of football or cricket according to season, but now I deserted them, inventing lonely pastimes of my own.
I used to collect fragments of clay pipes that I found in adjacent ploughed fields, together with any other “antiquities” I could find. I invented a weapon for bringing down birds from the sky. I would push a lump of the local yellow clay on to the end of a springy stick. When I swung it, the clay would fly into the air at great speed, on the same principles as the atlatl of North America or the woomera of Australia. It never hit a bird, because the clay left the stick at an unpredictable position in the arc, but I wasn’t in the least deterred. Aerial flight, not killing, was the fascination. My lump of clay was my alter ego, up there with the starlings, flying in its own fashion. I remain a frisbee freak to this day, my enthusiasm still exceeding my technique.
I also invented a game whereby I’d hit a tennis ball with a stick into a hole. My Latin master, Mr Sudell, told me this was golf. Inspired by my interest, he brought out a golf ball and a few putters, and taught a group of us to play. Part of his intention was to bring me back into the social fold, but he failed in that. I now found the game tediously competitive, its magic gone. I drifted back to solitary outdoor pursuits whose aim was not winning but ecstasy.
In the intervening decades, I succumbed to the pressures of society and felt guilty at my brooding, mooching, dreamy tendencies. I never thought of myself as unsociable. I looked for a world into which I would fit, and didn’t find it. And now I want to help create a world into which everyone will fit.
a wayfarer’s notes 
I sympathise strongly with your plight of being pressurised to conform. Society doesn't like individuals going their own way.
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I second what Rob said, I too was an outcast and a loner, for the most part. I too, want a world of accomodation for all, with room to grow, be and expand. It is such a simple desire, why doesn't everyone want that equality? I don't know. There is room in the world.
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Thanks for this wonderful piece Vincent I loved the descriptions of your dreamy childhood. Look forward to reading more. Best, rama
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we are not talking about lonely island here, we are talking about space and a world of our own.
not many people approve that. not many people can stand others having a world of their own which is very different from what they see.
beautiful writing, i must say.
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We exist in the reality we believe in, anything outside the scope of our awareness, perception and imagination we question. These questions will not be solved until the paradoxal method of reasoning that was inflicted on us by the civilizations that boast about giving the world its ability to reason and knowledge to advance, are left behind.
What the Mesopothamian, Sumerian, Babylonian, Egyptian, Greek and Roman civilizations did, beside giving us the knowledge that lead to the construction of the structures and mechanisms of this war- and poverty stricken world, is limit our perception, remove the knowledge of magic and condition our minds to prepare us for events that are not too far ahead of us in futures that are unpredictable using the konwledge resulting from what we have experienced or have been taught by the officially approved transferers of knowledge. They are the keepers of secrets, that are in control of information, the sculptors of the (un)awareness of this world.
This is part of the reason why indegenous people like the Aborigines were systematically wiped out, for they still had the knowledge of magic that was a potential danger to those who built their power on the heritage of mainstream civilizations.
Soon, many who believe in the logic of this world (or will survive it) will see that it was all a carefully planned and executed hoax, aimed at leading us into futures no compassionate and perceptive soul ever wanted.
Still, there are universal powers infinitely greater than the ones that control this realm. It is cynical that the ones who conjured and maintained the situation of this world were not capable of recognizing the presence and manifestations of these powers. They too began to believe in the false reality they created themselves.
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Thanks rob & jim & rama & ghetufool for your comments. Rage, I am fascinated by your remarks and hope you can point me to some sources which have helped shape your views and prophecies.
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Here you have a few links that you may find interesting:
Enuma Elish – http://www.sacred-texts.com/ane/enuma.htm
Extraterrestrial ancestors – http://www.crystalinks.com/ancientastronauts.html
Mayan book of creation – http://www.sacred-texts.com/nam/maya/pvgm/
The book of Enoch – http://www.hermetics.org/pdf/enoch.pdf#search=%22book%20of%20enoch%20filetype%3Apdf%22
The Emerald Tablets of Thoth, the Atlantean – http://www.v72.org/PDF/The_Emerald_Tablets_of_Thoth.pdf#search=%22emerald%20tablets%20of%20thoth%20filetype%3Apdf%22
Fallen Angels, Demons, Aliens, Jedi, and the Watchers – http://www.sherryshriner.com/sherry/who-is-what.htm
Zecheria Sitchin's “The twelfth planet” – http://www.sitchin.com/
L.C.Geerts – Earth's ancient history – http://www.earth-history.com/
Elizabeth Clare Prophet wrote a book called “Fallen Angels and the Origins of Evil” (ISBN: 0-922729-43-3) that you also may find interesting. This book is an exploration of The book of Enoch.
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Rage, thanks. These are rich veins, which will take me time to mine for their ores and precious metals. I have started looking at the first one, the Enuma Elish. I never knew it existed!
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